Accused of Intimidation at University WIBU to Resign?

[suchafuss]

I am a mature student who is studying a vocational degree in the caring professions (don't want to be too specific in case I out myself).

I was recently elected as President of this vocations society and have a really great team, apart from one person who is hell bent on dominating our society, talking over the top of people trying to dictate what happens in meetings, how we should do things but in a way that does not allow others a voice and at the same time neglecting things that she is responsible for.

Recently we had a series of events to organise and all had specific organisations to contact. However this person kept contacting people that she had not been allocated and which resulted in people then refusing to speak to the person who was dealing with it and giving a really poor impression of the society. The secretary sent an email to everyone asking them not to do this as it was causing problems but she continued. I spoke to her on the telephone and asked her to send me the contact details of someone both she and the other committee member had been speaking to so that I could thank them for their support, apologise for the confusion and see if they were able to extend a seminar they were holding for us.

She completely ignored this and emailed the person confirming their attendance and telling them I would be in touch to personally thank them. So I emailed her pointing out that she had ignored what I had asked her to do, she had also managed to upset other members of the society and made the society look unprofessional and what could we do to resolve this.

FWIW my work before UNI involved working as part of a management team for over 20 years so I know how to work effectively and the rest of the team like that, that I am professional and as a result they are learning skills for employment.

The reason for my AIBU is that as a result of my email this person then complained to my programme director and some other people at the university that I was intimidating her and had really upset her, in short that I had bullied her. I would never bully someone, I loath it. No one has taken any notice and in fact when she realised that no one was taking her accusations seriously when she was trying to garner support she came and apologised. But it has left a really bad taste and I am concerned that if I try and direct her in the future I will have similar issues. Should just resign and protect myself from any other accusations or is there something I can do to protect myself from this?

Just to reassure you, if you were coming across as patronising /heavy-handed, she would not be your only problem. Maybe try having a group discussion where you make everyone feel comfortable to give you constructive criticism on your leadership style? That way you'll know for sure how you're coming across and if that is effecting her behaviour or if she's just a knob.

This certainly doesn't sound like PAL for a start. I saw that as a fully qualified PAL trainer with 12 years experience

Does your university offer a mediation service? I would try that and if she has a made a formal complaint then just see it through. If you've done nothing wrong then you've done nothing wrong. FWIW if it relates to a student society (via the SU) then it's that complaints procedure that should be followed. If she's alleging that you've harassed her on the course then that would be the University Dignity at Work and Study policy or Student Complaints procedure.

Thank you to those who helpfully provided their advice. To those who concluded that i was full of my own importance, I have no idea how you reached that conclusion. I am however confident and aware of my own worth and I make no apology for that. I am never oppressive.

From what you've said, it does sound like her issue but maybe step back and reflect on how you are perceived by others. It's a really important SW skill. I'm not sure if you've been on placement yet but you can oppress people without realising. When there is a power imbalance, people can feel very defensive.

Thelouise yes i agree that people can feel defensive. Placement next year but past two years have worked in various volunteering roles with young offenders, in schools and with vunerable adults but have never had any feedback re being oppressive. I am definatley going to use this situation as a readiness for practice incident to reflect on as i realise that i will come into contact with many resistant people in practice.I guess this is just a steep learning curve for me.

Just to clarify; I don't think you are being oppressive, just that some people can feel very defensive if they perceive someone to be more powerful or more knowledgeable. Nothing you've said has made me think you've done anything wrong, as such, and I definitely would not resign. I just think this is a fantastic reflecting and learning opportunity. I also agree with someone up thread who said this is great interview fodder. :)

I think people think you are self important because of where you say you are a professional so they are learning employment skills. It does come across as you thinking you are teaching them and above them. Perhaps you didn't mean it that way.

Crikey have just read my inital post and I DO come across as an arse! Cant believe i wrote that and everyone totally justified in saying i sound like I'm full of my own importance!