AIBU to send my child to childminder with hand, foot and mouth?

[caroloro]

So, the childminder and I both read the NHS advice here www.nhs.uk/conditions/Hand-foot-and-mouth-disease/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Which says highly contagious for about first week after symptoms (we are more than a week in...thought it was teething/dribble rash last week, until the spots on her hands and feet) and no need to keep a child off school or nursery unless poorly with it (she's not, she's raring to go - other than the hideous blisters round her mouth, you wouldn't know she was poorly).

On balance, both she and I agreed it was no biggie for DD to attend as usual. However, one of the other Mums was aghast, refused to leave her child with childminder, threatened to sue childminder if her child got HFM, said child wouldn't be back this week, and that she wouldn't pay either.

AIBU?

Our nursery happily accepted children with HFM as long as they weren't feeling poorly.

Up to other parents if they want to keep their children off.

Up to other parents if they want to keep their children off.

Exactly. And if your child care provider is open for business and your child is booked in for that day then you can expect to be billed for those hours whether you use them or not, which is what will probably happen with this other mum.

It can be really horrible. I've cared for a child with it ( supposedly after the infectious period) and then got it myself. No sleep for a week, driven insane by itching, painful and scarring blisters.
Your child might be "raring to go" but other people who catch it from her might suffer a lot more.

I think people being horrified is a bit extreme. HF&M isn't an exclusion disease at our nursery and it has gone round a few times since we have had DS there (so far he hasn't caught it). We signed an illness policy and a copy is pinned up at nursery explicitly stating which illnesses are grounds for exclusion.

Up to the other parent to keep her child out of the setting if she isn't happy but if she signed the policy and HFM is on it, she will have to pay.

No one really knows if they're still contagious. These are guidelines not actual facts, no doctor in the land would be able to "prove" they aren't. Keep the child off until there are no visible signs. If you were on the other side this is what you would want.

The quarantine guidelines are based on the risks of the diseases, whooping cough can cause complications so there is a quarantine period, nits are unpleasant and highly contagious but not dangerous, HFM kind of falls into the same category but is much more unpleasant!!

We've just had this and were asked to keep DD off nursery. In the end she was feeling really rotten with infected blisters on her mouth the days she would've been there so I wouldn't have sent her anyway.
But from what I read about it they are contagious for a while before the symptoms appear (hence why it spreads so effectively) so it's more than likely the other child has it already...

In Oz we must exclude until all the blisters have cleared up. And get a 'clearance' certificate from our doctor before daycare will let them back.
I'd be aghast at a child with visible blisters. Particularly as it's going into winter and therefore more time inside in close proximity. And heading towards Christmas so a poorly child will potentially miss out on lots of fun activities outside nursery.

Do hfm spots always blister? Can they just be rashy spots?

PS YANBU. You and CM followed guidelines.

When my DC had it, DC3 got a mix of rash spots and blisters, DC2 only got rash type spots.

yanbu

you and cm followed guidelines and as infectious when showing no symptoms then likely close contract will share it

Please don't send him. It may say only contagious for a week but that's not set in stone. We are all just getting over HFM with my 1yr having a truly awful dose of it. He was so upset with it and covered, hands, feet, mouth and entire nappy area. The only person we were in contact with was a baby who had it but was on day 10 'so wasn't contagious anymore" You can't tell how it will effect someone. Your child may be fine but my child was truly so sick for a good 2 1/2 weeks.

Not like the OP is forcing the childminder to take the child?! She agreed to take him. Yanbu.

My DP and I caught HFM this time last year from our then 7mth DD. Having been told by our Dr that there was no way we would catch it and if we did catch it, our symptoms would be mild.

You can guess the rest I am sure. Both came down fast, bedridden with a fever, shocking headaches and blisters. Signed off work for over a week each - at crucial points in career too. Our tiny DD was so very ill too. Nhs website may state mild, but me experience, and similar experiences of friends, suggests otherwise. So I would say think carefully OP about knowingly and carelessly sending Dc into a childcare setting. Your Dc may feel absolutely rotten and need time at home to recover.

Sorry carelessly above sounds rather mean - what I meant to say is just take a little time to consider if it's right for your DC and all others who it might affect. Hope your DC feels better soon.

I would say YABU. If your DD still has blisters then chances are she is still contagious. It may well have been mild for your DD, but it might affect other children at the childminders very differently.

I wouldn't send them. I caught it after my child was exposed to somebody past the contagious stage at nursery. It was horrific and ended up in A&E with a fever and hallucinations. It's definitely not always mild symptoms.

tbh its up to the cm, if her policy allows children to come with hfm then not op's fault that she sends him

tho as previously said, doomed if cm does,doomed if she doesnt allow as nhs guidelines say its ok

My nursery has an illness policy which covers hfm as well as impetigo the pox etc and says how long they should stay away for. I think it's high time your childminder got with it and made one of those so all we parents have the guidelines and know what to do. Slack on her part and silly really if you to send your contagious child in.

I'm surprised that HFM isn't on the "infectious likeness", list for other Nurseries.

Our Children's Centers have a "No attendance for a week" policy and it used to stop contact (in a Foster Care situation), for the same time period, as set by the LA.

Your Childminder will have had a written policy, when she was being registered, or your LA is very lax.

My Mum recently passed away and was very vulnerable, so my DD wouldn't of been happy with her Care provider not being clear on this because it would change the whole family visiting situation.

I have Lupus and I'm not well at the moment, so I have to be careful.

Perhaps the other Mother has something similar going on.

If you've never had someone immune Suppressed in the family, you possibly wouldn't understand.

It's not an excludable disease at our nursery. DS has had it twice. He was pretty ill and miserable for 2-3 days so we kept him off but he went in as normal when he felt better although still spotty