In saying 'if you want something done that badly, do it yourself!'

[TudorTrace]

I really do hope I don't come across as a brash character, I'm really not, but my DP attitude is really starting to bother me. Please give your opinion on where I stand etc.

DP works under 30 hours a week, so part time. I have been off of work for about 3 months now, and I'm starting (full time), a new job on Monday.

Since taking up my role as house keeper (), it was said that I am to be the one to organise the home completely, and that DP pays his way by working to provide for us and bringing money in, where as I am the homemaker and bring very little in financially (apart from sick benefit).

I can understand this completely, but I sometimes think that if you want something done a certain way etc, you should do it yourself! He was sitting there looking for sandwich fillings this afternoon and demanded why I hadn't been shopping for 'healthier food' because he'd already told me he needs to go on a diet and keeps saying it.

For example, DP will just be sitting there watching telly and I'll be washing up. Once finished, he'll say something along the lines of "aren't you going to dry those?" Or I'll be sitting on my laptop and he'll ask "I asked you yesterday to put a dark wash on for my work clothes, can you do it now please" (this is all while doing nothing at all apart from playing video games/being on iPad/phone).

AIBU? To give DP his due, he insists that when I'm working full time, he'll be the one taking over everything. I believe him, because this is how it worked before when I was working more hours than him.

I guess I'm probably BU, reading it now

It's clear I'm going to have to have some stern words then, or things won't change.

I'm glad I posted, I'm sure now that it's not me being unreasonable. Thank you lovely ladies

The fact that you even wondered whether you were being unreasonable is not a good sign. The way he treats you is terrible. I don't think a stern word will cut it but I guess it's worth a shot before anything more drastic. Just so you know, lots of people don't live with that kind of disrespect and treatment from their partners. I don't know what else to say.

Or start doing the same to him. Tell him he isn't earning enough to your liking. If he is going to be earning the wage, then he needs to do it properly, and earn more, as you need X item for the house, and the kitchen wear needs upgrading, the towels need replacing, etc etc. It was agreed that he would take care of all the financial things, so why hasn't he been promoted since this arrangement took place?

Ask him how it's different. You are taking care of the home. You might not be doing everything EXACTLY the way he wants it, in which case, he is welcome to fuck off and do it himself. Likewise, he is providing money for the home. It might not be the amount that you would like, in which case, you are welcome to go out and earn more.

Also he sounds like a total fucking knob.

We have a similar role division due to my husband taking a work contract in a different country. I don't mind doing everything at home, because he is a polite, respectful person. Some weeks I could probably do a bit more around the house. Some weeks I work my arse off. I don't get "told off" at any point though.