About FIL bathing DS

[SomewhereOverTheReindeer]

I think I'm probably BU... Basically Monday is DH's day off, and he's at home with DS while I'm at work. He's not been well this week, so asked his Dad to come over thus afternoon for a couple of hours to help with DS who's 16 months and into everything.

He then felt worse, and decided to book a doctors appt for this evening, FIL agreed to stay and look after DS so he didn't have to take him. I phoned DH when I got to the train station to head home to see how his appointment had gone, and he mentioned that he'd left DS 'about to be bathed by grandpa'.

For some reason this makes me very uncomfortable, and I've no idea why. (Hence probably BU). I like FIL very much, DS knows him well and he goes out for walks with him, babysits very occasionally etc - but it would just never have occurred to me that anyone other than DH or I should give him a bath? Eg I'd never ask my own DM to, who also sees DS a lot. I'd just assume he'd have to wait til I got home, or bath would be foregone that night.

I think part of it is that FIL is getting on a bit, with a history of heart trouble, and I worry as much about him dropping a slippy wriggly toddler, or (God forbid) passing out while DS is in the bath as much as anything else.

Writing it down I sound barmy. IABU, aren't I?

My DS loves bath time with F&MIL. It doesn't happen very often (live along way away).

However at the most recent visitation I banned FIL from bathroom after the first couple of evenings. that is because I'm an evil DIL FIL and DS have a unique ability to play with each other and wind each other up (in a good way) so bath time with grandad = anything but a relaxing bedtime following it!

PFB gone mad. Be ashamed and hope your nice FIL never sees this.

He might have a blackout. Bollocks. Unless he has a history of this YABVVVU and need something proper to fret over.

MIL doesn't bathe DS, or babysit or even ever get left in a room alone with him, because of things she did to DH as a child. So there is no possibility I would be posting this thread about her viiolets, no.

Otherwise thanks for all the grip-passing. FIL is mid-70s and did used to have blackouts but hasn't for a few years, so probably no real issue!

You had a silly PFB moment; it happens to the best of us. You kept it to yourself (we don't count ) and under control and everything is OK... so no harm done.

I reckon you are being a bit PFB, but I would be exactly the same!

you say your dc goes for walks etc with his grandad so what is the difference in him bathing him

he could black out on a walk,i dont see the difference

i cant be the only one who is wondering thats its not GP health more he's male is the her worry

If he was doing anything else for your ds would you be equally as worried? It's because he gave him a bath isn't it?
If he was that unreliable then your dh wouldn't have left him would he.

I don't think it's pfb to worry about someone who "used to have blackouts" bathing your baby alone. I think you should talk to your dh about it. My df had infrequent blackouts too, and I never left him alone with my dc when small for that very reason.

I am really confused.

If he has blackouts and this worries you, why is he looking after him at all.

What if he blacked out at any other time watching him, or on a walk.

Regardless of dh is ill.

My dad bathed my kids loads. Don't see the issue

He is either capable of looking after ds or not.

It's not odd at all to worry and feel slightly weird at someone else being responsible for your child in water. I had a similar worries with my MIL, who I adore and couldn't manage without. However when I relaxed and tried to get over it DH and I went for a weekend away and when I rang to check in she breezily announced that she was busy doing the dishes whilst DD3 and DS2 were in the bath! They were 2 and 4!

Everyone has different ideas of what is 'OK' when it comes to safety so it's not wrong to worry when you're yet to find out whether you and the other person are on the same page or not.

It's not necessarily unreasonable - I know my dm would think it totally fine to nip out of the bathroom for a towel which I disagree with wrt a 16mo. And bath time is quite physical, leaning over the bath etc, if he wasn't 100% fit and his back suddenly went it could be tricky! I don't think yabu for it to take you by surprise a bit.

Your worried he might pass out but you're happy with him taking your son for a walk .

Just be honest about the real reason, I suspect it has nothing to do with him passing out. Its because he was bathing your son and that made you uncomfortable, nothing to with his health. Grim that this is the world we live in, where parents worry about GP washing their GC!

Potty training ds, he could climb up, do a wee and sort himself out but if anything else happened needed a bit of help cleaning up. Bright enough to realise best to stay put and call for help. Visiting parents and heard call of "granddad, done a pooooooooooh"

Reply - "Congratulations - I'll let your dad know." Once dw and I could stop sniggering I went and "rescued" him.

YABU

But YANBU to have a few irrational mom moments.

both a grandma and grandpa in this household who yes... bath grandbabies.
years of experience at it as well.

bottom line if you are comfortable with them babysitting your child bathing a child is only a normal part of child care no different than changing their diaper.
most recently grandparent brag moment was us toilet training :)

Dear God. Grandad gives grandson a bath. Sirens should start blaring.

I think you're using his health problems as a smokescreen for what was really going through your mind.

YANBU you are being ridiculous.

Yes vvu!!!

I heard the story of a great-grandmother who died while taking a walk with her great-grandchild in a pram.
Nothing bad happened (except her being dead) but if she had been bathing the baby ...

On the other hand, your son is almost two years old. Teach him to turn off the water and pull the plug out, and worry no more.

I actually would be concerned about this with a FIL who has a history of blackouts. Not for any other reason, I'm perfectly happy with my FIL and my Dad bathing my DDs, wiping bottoms etc, but the risk of a 16mo being left alone in the bath is not one I would like to take.