help DH is taking the mickey..!

[BreadEyes]

Honestly. God knows I am a tolerant person - I have 2 children haha!! But DH is old enough to realise that it very much gets my goat when he does not clean up after himself! He leaves his clothes every which way and recently he has been laughing at me with our two children! The cheek. And just yesterday I heard ds saying "I have left my clothes on the floor for the laundry lady to find" WE DO NOT HAVE A LAUNDRY LADY!! That's right, dh has taught our kids to be as lazy as he is Help what do I do to change this behaviour??!?!

Make a choice . Short term untidiness or long term misery . Because all the time you roll over , you're giving them no reason to get off their lazy unused to criticism arses . They don't like being criticised , well boo fucking hoo . If they treated you with some respect , they wouldn't be criticised . Stop bleating , and get angry .

Hey now! I'm not a slave or a domestic appliance. I do the laundry, yes. But everything else is up to dh. Recently though he's not picking up his slack and I agree, Something will have to be done. I like the idea of concealment! I'll be on laundry strike for the next week! No more Mrs Nice!

ds is 9, dd is 12 but she is not a problem

I don't even have a DP but have a strict rule that only clothes in the washing basket get washed, even the 5 year old has got his head round it. I have 4DC and was constantly hunting round for school tops etc that had been dumped in corners, hence the rule and it has worked.

I get what you are saying about not wanting the dirty clothes hanging round but mine got the message within a couple of days when the items they had dumped didn't magically return clean so very short term pain for long term gain!

i think the laundry lady comments are just jokes and I'm all for a good joke, me - but that time was the last straw on my old camel back !! I'm at the end of my absolute tether!

Put his dirty clothes back in his drawers and wardrobe, (assuming you don't share a wardrobe).

Oh yes I take your point there.. I'm in a bit of a rage at the moment and I shouldn't have to make excuses for dh.

thank you arfarfanarf and everyone else I think this is the wake up call I needed!!

Time to accidentally put some red socks in the whites wash which coincidentally contains his clothes only. Oops.

Get the rage. Use the rage. Only do things for the people who pull their weight - so if your DD does her share, that's you and her, not the other two. Your DS will probably get it soon enough, your DH may need some time.

I would be really, really tempted to stuff his clothes in a bin liner and leave it somewhere.

For contrast - my DH is currently suffering with severe back pain and knee problems, so yes, I am picking up most of the housework. He can't stand for long periods of time, so anything cleaning and cooking is difficult for him. Nevertheless he still did ALL the laundry today whilst I shopped, put shopping away, tidied up under the stairs, cooked dinner and did the dishes. The DDs did their beds, their homework and put away their laundry. We all pull together as a team. So should your family.

hahaha that made me chuckle! god bless x

i totally agree, pointythings! I have my rage and boy oh boy I'm using it henceforth!

Dirty clothes into cardboard box left in a corner somrwhere: their problem to resolve when they don't have clean clothes.

Anything not in the laundry basket gets chopped up and thrown in the bin.
And do it.

When you say he does 'everything else', what exactly do you mean?

Say "Ooh, a laundry lady! Thank you DH" and start looking into hiring one. Watch the panic on his face when he realises you're not allowing yourself to be laughed at any more.

In the meantime, let the clothes lay wherever they're dropped.

when i have had a meltdown my husband has come home from work and found his dirty pants that he left on the floor hanging on a bush in the front garden (i threw them out the window)....and ive been known to put everything left on the floor or laying around(clothes, cups, plates, school and work related things etc) in a bin liner outside the back door....im not a slave!

I like a tidy house, if my brood leave stuff around the house I deposit it on their beds and close the door. Including DH, honestly it has worked. My downstairs, bathroom and my side of the bedroom is tidy. The rest I close the door on. But they do get the message and have got better at clearing up their own crap.

You either stop being such a fucking martyr and actually force them to change their behaviour by taking a stand, even if it means enduring the mild inconvenience of a messy house for a few weeks.

OR

You keep doing exactly as you are, and stop complaining because apparently a sadistic part of you enjoys being treated like a house keeper.

DH puts stuff in the washing machine that he needs washing, so do the DCs 8 and 4. If it's not in there, it doesn't get washed.

Does that not make the washing machine a bit smelly? And mean you have dirty clothes waiting outside the washer?

Have you discussed this with him? Does he realise how hard it makes life for you when he deliberately teaches your children to be disrespectful to you and untidy? Does he care? This should show whether he is being cruel or completely clueless. Definitely set a house rule that nothing is washed unless it's in the appropriate place like the dirty laundry hamper. Your DS is old enough to understand this. Actually he's old enough to help out with the laundry so he understands it's not just women's work or something someone else always does for him. That should change his tune.