To think this is insensitive and quite sick

[pinkcoww]

Whilst visiting my mum today she brought up that one of her friends has just lost her baby due to early labour at 30 weeks. My mum said 'i hope your daughter is born early because I'm bored of waiting, I hope she comes soon'. I'm 29 weeks. She suggested seeing if I can be induced at 33 weeks. So she'd rather my daughter be potentially really ill or die just because she doesn't want to wait to 'meet her'

AIBU to think that comment is really insensitive? It made me feel sick and I didn't know what to say

Also, what's with parents being annoyed when cousins are born close to each other? My cousin and I love being born within a week of each other.

I had a placenta problem and the Dr kept saying ds should be delivered at 36 weeks that if have steroids and it would be fine etc etc
I asked to wait till 37 weeks and he said no it had to be 36 as they didn't want me to bleed as it would 'hose out' and I then agreed as was worried. Turned out the placenta issue wasn't as serious as they had thought, ds had severe breathing issues despite steroids and it was a nightmare

Was she serious OP? If so, that is a really awful thing to say.

However, I have said, whilst pregnant at around 30 weeks "Oh my GOD I wish this baby would come out RIGHT NOW. I just want to smoosh her".

Very obviously in my tone, I was joking/excited. I would never, ever seriously wish my baby Premature and consider asking for an early induction - not that any sane and competent Midwife would allow, anyway.

Either way I wish you and your DD a happy, healthy, perfectly on time delivery

Induced at 33 weeks?! She's insane, even 37 weeks is earlier than is ideal.

Sheba I'm delighted that DD and her cousin are so close in age. It's the constant one-up-man-ship from SIL as to which one is crawling/walking/talking/cutting teeth first that does my head in and has taken the shine off it for me.

When Chris Hoy and his wife had a baby at 29 weeks last year SIL said something along the lines of "how lucky is she not having to be pregnant for as long as most people". I had to seriously bite my tongue to stop myself tearing her a new one

Will doctors induce labor early because the mother wants it in the UK? I remember a fair amount of talk at my birthing class about how the hospital where I was going to have DD wouldn't induce early for convenience or comfort reasons.

37 weeks is term, Purple.

Op what a strange thing for your Mum to say.

Sheba There is a couple of months between my cousin and I, and although it was nice to have a friend to grow up with, there was also a lot of comparison and competition. Not from my side of the family, my DMum is far too kind and loving for her own good, but from my cousins side of the family despite them being the second ones to fall pregnant after my DMum announced her news.

I remember my cousin being given a particularly hard time because I was outperforming him academically when I had MH issues

If I knew my DSis was pregnant, I would definitely hold off for a few months to avoid comparisons. Also, I would want her to enjoy the spotlight and attention of having a new baby.

Even though 37 weeks is considered term, those three weeks are strengthening the baby's lungs so it is always better to give birth around 40 weeks if possible.

Your mum sounds bonkers. DS4 was born at 35 weeks. He was in the neonatal unit for 4 weeks and has long term health problems. DS5 was born at almost 37 weeks and they spent 40 minutes resuscitating him before he was stable enough to move to nicu.

Some people hear stories about ex 24 weekers who have grown up and are now in perfect health and think that a baby born at 33 weeks would be fine, just a little bit small. It's not true. Most babies born at this gestation will need help with breathing, many of them will be on ventilators, in incubators etc. And even if they are one of the lucky ones who need less help they will still be in the neonatal unit for weeks.

DS5 is 17 months old and I still can't leave him with anyone without having flashbacks of when he was in the nicu when he was born. It's horrible when one minute they've been inside you and then suddenly they are taken away and you're moved to a ward where everyone else is celebrating and cuddling their babies.

My DS2 was born by EMCS (very emergency) at 34+3. He had horrendous problems at birth (IRDS, couldn't breathe) and was taken to NICU at another hospital. He was a good weight too (6lb). I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, let alone myself or a member of my family.

DD2 was a emcs at 35 weeks (she stopped moving and my placenta was failing) she had to be resuscitated and ventilated and we spent almost 4 weeks in NICU. Even now she's almost a year people still say oh but she was a good weight (7lb 5) why'd she need all that? As if the only reason normal gestation is around 40 weeks just to make them bigger

Ah, teenage, that sounds like it was really hard for all of you.

You hear about the 24 weekers who are doing well, because the ones that aren't make for a real downer of a story. Here in the US at least, we're really reluctant to talk about a pregnancy or birth story unless it has a happy ending. Other cultures may be similar in this regard.

This isn't a great thread for people facing prem labour :(
OP your DM is a thoughtless twit. Yes I'! sure she's impatient to meet her grandchild and in a few weeks time you'll hopefully be wishing the weeks away too, but nobody wants their baby to be born early unless

Friffing phone.
Unless it is in the baby's interests. Last time I checked, Granny's curiosity wasn't a criteria for baby's best interests.

She simply has no idea what a 29/40 child looks like or what problems it would face.

Put it down to ignorance.

I had to be induced at 37 weeks with both pregnancies, for health reasons (obstetric cholestasis). Ds1 was healthy, but ds2 was born with pneumonia, and had to stay I'm scbu for almost 2 weeks. He looked huge compared to the tiny prem babies. My heart was torn in two by wanting to be at the hospital with my sick newborn, and my young ds, who didn't understand where mummy and daddy kept disappearing to. We saw heartbroken parents, who had been thrown into unexpected situations, and had no idea what the future held. You really wouldn't wish it on any one. A healthy, full term baby, you can take straight home is a lovely thing to visualise and look forward to during pregnancy.

Honestly ... Your dm sucks beyond belief ... Thursday ds came at 35 weeks and is currently in special care struggling to breathe

I can't hold him without wires and a few hours he had to have a lumbar puncture to look at possible infection, please verbally bitch slap her for being an insensitive and selfish prick and fingers crossed for you op little one bakes for as long as they need

You are absolutely not being u

My mum expected me to go into labour any time from about 26 weeks and kept asking if I'd had the baby yet (who came in the week of his due date).

Sounds bonkers, but I was born at 27 weeks and she couldn't really comprehend how unusual my survival was or what a longer pregnancy might be like, let alone the risks of prematurity even if it's 'only' 4 weeks.

I'd put it down to ignorance and ignore it.

She probably doesn't realize how crucial those 8 weeks are for babies to be viable outside the womb. Or she just sees how often preemies live that the danger they face hasn't really sunk in.

Maybe she just meant that 33 weeks is about as long as she can wait rather then she really wants you to have your DD at 33 weeks. She obviously wasn't thinking about the health aspect, just the impatient aspect.

It's all about me, isn't it?
Has she always been selfish?
She's going to be a nightmare Granny, you better prepare yourself love!

My mum always used to say how excited she was to meet my babies when I was pregnant.

However she she phrased it as 'I wish you were further along'

She would never have wished the baby would come early.