Another Facebook and pregnancy/baby posts

[Pepperpot123]

Hello,this has probably be done to death so apologies! I have a few friends on Facebook who are mums. One of them posts about 20 pictures a day seriously of her child. The most recent is one of the child on her breast and her nipple is in full view ! This girl has a public job and her colleagues are on Facebook aswell as her brothers. I just find it inappropriate.
Another friend is pregnant and posts the same scan picture about 3 times a day with different poems under them. I don't mean to sound nasty but my god why make these pictures so public?? I understand they are totally in love with their kids but come on what did we do before Facebook ?

There's no need to broadcast your nipple on Facebook. It won't normalise breastfeeding, or teach people that nipples are for feeding babies, it just makes people recoil and wonder why she's just put her damn nipple on Facebook.

Sometimes I think breastfeeding hormones make some women lose their darn minds.

I don't have any pictures of my nipples on Facebook, but I've posed for artistic nude photographs and sketches which have been displayed in public galleries, and a couple of people have even bought them (presumably they're blind, or maybe as revenge gifts), so I don't even know where those are currently hanging. Is that more acceptable?

While I think breastfeeding is perfectly natural, I wouldn't want to see someone's nipple on my Facebook, as much as I wouldn't want to see them having a shit.

I cannot with the comparison between breastfeeding and having a shit. That's pretty seriously messed up.

Also, breastfeeding and nipples are fine. It's just a breast. How is it offensive?

Yes, I get very tired of people comparing babies feeding to public shitting. What the actual fuck. A baby feeding is perfectly clean and hygienic. And unlike many adults who are allowed to eat more or less anywhere in public, the baby won't be having smelly food that wafts all over the place, or leaving behind any rubbish. Is that actually comparable with dropping your trousers and laying a huge stinking log on the pavement? Really? Makes me wonder what sort of parties you attend.

If you don't want to see it on your Facebook feed then just hide them and own the fact that it makes you uncomfortable. Stop pretending that you're just so selflessly concerned for how it might affect them professionally, and definitely stop comparing babies on the breast to shits on the street. For God's sake.

Oh, and if anyone starts with the "sexual organs out in public" nonsense and comparing it to public blow jobs instead, I swear I'm going to start screaming. Breasts are not sexual organs, they are secondary sexual characteristics. If having those visible in public (while performing the rather necessary act of feeding a baby, I might add) offends you, then presumably the sight of men's beards and Adam's apples offends you just as much. So when the battle against the evil, society-ruining breastfeeding mothers has been won, I confidently expect the heroes to start their next campaign for making men wear bags over their heads whenever they leave the house.

Oh jees. Just hide her fecking posts if it bothers you.

Yabu.

The repeat scan posting seems excessive. I had to unfollow a friend for posting Every. Single. Detail. of her pregnancy. I was happy for her, congratulated her and liked the initial announcement but she updated at every developmental stage of pregnancy, not just the interesting stuff like first kicks but absolutely everything. The fetus is now as big as a bean, a golf ball etc, the fetus has fingernails now... stuff only the parent would care about but apparently everyone on her friends list needed to know about. Not only was it overwhelming and a bit boring but I found it difficult to deal with having previously suffered a miscarriage. If it bothers you just unfollow or hide their posts, you remain friends with the person but no longer see the barrage of baby related posts in your newsfeed, best of both worlds.

There's nothing wrong with the natural act of breastfeeding though. If she's comfortable with her colleagues and family members seeing her breastfeeding then that's up to her. Again, if you are uncomfortable seeing it just hide the post. It's not a big deal.

NOT A NIPPLE

Grow up.

YABU.

After recurrent miscarriage, ttc and a really tough pregnancy I'll post as many scan pictures and baby things to my Facebook wall as I want. If one of my friends didn't like it then I would happily unfriend them.

ODFOD

Not your baby, not your nipples, not you page and not your job.

YABU

I'll wade in on this and say - moving on from the nipple! - YANBU. As someone struggling with infertility, I feel similar. I love my friends' kids and I know it's me who is oversensitive about the matter, but really I'd stretch this to people sharing every single moment of their lives as they live it on FB. If they're so delighted with their kids, they should spend more time looking at them and less time ignoring them to post on FB.

I agree with op - some of the sharing does cross over into over sharing as far as parents on Facebook are concerned. I do question the levels of arrogance it takes to assume everyone is interested. Also I think people are being rather unfair. The breast is an intimate area still and I don't think you're being unreasonable or anti breast feeding to not want someone's nipple poking out of your news feed!!! Lots of women breastfeed I don't consider it newsworthy.

I suffered a miscarriage and I remember all the scan photos on Facebook just making me feel sick.

All you can do is unfollow them and your head won't be cluttered with this drivel.

The breast is an intimate area still and I don't think you're being unreasonable or anti breast feeding to not want someone's nipple poking out of your news feed

Exactly. It would be unacceptable for me to post a photo of my nipple on FB, so why should someone post a photo of their nipple in a breastfeeding context? Why do you want your FB friends to see your nipple?

I know it's only a nipple. But it's fucking weird to publish a photo of yours on FB

Exactly. It would be unacceptable for me to post a photo of my nipple on FB, so why should someone post a photo of their nipple in a breastfeeding context?

Because a baby is using the nipple for its primary purpose. It's a good point though - which is why I support Free the Nipple, if men can stick em on FB women should be able to as well!

I do question the levels of arrogance it takes to assume everyone is interested

Whilst I think the OP IBU I totally agree with this. I rarely post pictures of DD as no one really gives a shit do they. And why should they! Also I don't take a lot of pics anyway but I always think it's because I'm actually doing stuff with her rather than taking pics to make sure people know what a good mum I am.

DH and I have a running joke, if we go anywhere, such as a day out with DD, one of us always says "Are you going to put this on Facebook? Because it doesn't count as good parenting if you don't!"

I don't mind BF pics on FB, but like anything I don't wanna see excessive amounts of anyone's children/dog/bike ride/ night out

Breastfeeding photos on FB are fine. But to consciously select one that shows the nipple to post on FB does breastfeeding mothers a disservice, I think, because it perpetuates the idea that breastfeeding mothers just want to flash their tits at every given opportunity. It perpetuates the idea that a woman breastfeeding around you is something to be squeamish and uncomfortable about.

Because I am squeamish about the idea seeing a Facebook friend's nip, for starters!

And also, as a PP said, it just displays a real lack of self awareness. YOU think it's a gorgeous photo, but no one else really will. Ditto all the other baby minutiae that people think others want to see.

Breastfeeding photos on FB are fine. But to consciously select one that shows the nipple to post on FB does breastfeeding mothers a disservice, I think, because it perpetuates the idea that breastfeeding mothers just want to flash their tits at every given opportunity.

This reminds me of a recent thread about a woman who dared to use LinkedIn for its intended purpose while being attractive, and a load of people said it was her own fault men were harassing her because she shouldn't have used a photo where she looked like herself, or indeed a photo at all.

Breastfeeding involves nipples. Sometimes they'll be visible, sometimes they won't. Either way, mothers do not have to censor themselves to pander to the idiots who think women feed children in order to get dirty horrible nasty ATTENTION. It is offensive to suppose that mothers feeding their babies is actually all about you, because she really just wants nothing more than for you to see her boobies. (Please understand, VagueIdeas, that I am absolutely NOT accusing you of doing this. I'm just arguing against the idea that mothers should be pressured to change their feeding preferences just to pander to such twats.)

If you don't want to see it, just hide it from your feed and move on.

Well said Sheba

What I meant Sheba, and probably didn't articulate too well, is not that I agree with those kind of viewpoints or say "breastfeeding in public is totally fine, as long as it's discreet", but those kind of knuckleheaded opinions won't go away as long as people thoughtlessly share nipple photographs to their poor, unsuspecting acquaintances on social media. I just think it's a peculiar thing to do. I would never have dreamed of it.

I don't see why we should pander to those with knucklehead opinions by giving them credence. It's like telling a victim to stay out of the way of the aggressor.

And yes I have posted photos of me breastfeeding on FB.

VagueIdea, I understood what you meant and I disagree with your proposed solution to people who think feeding babies is pornographic. In my opinion, women should not feel they have to censor themselves to pander to twats who think mothers feed children because they just luuuurve having people see their boobs.

If we tell breastfeeding mothers to cover up or go into toilets (how disgusting!) because we're scared of what people will think, then these knuckleheads will think they're right and feel validated in their stupid beliefs.

A better solution is for us to work towards a culture where breastfeeding is seen as what it is - the perfectly natural, normal, hygienic feeding of a child, with no sexual overtones. Anyone who thinks mothers feed children to get dirty sexual attention has a problem, and we should be making it clear it's their job to fix themselves.