To be upset that DP has female friends I don't know about?

[MinnieSmith]

Just that really.

I recently joined Facebook and am surprised that my DP of three years has regular posts from a few women he's never mentioned to me. Nothing untoward or anything but these appear to be friends of his.

I don't think I have any friends I've not mentioned to him, certainly no one that I'm in touch with any more. And I've at least heard of his male friends on there, even if they're not friends I know.

I feel a bit weird about it - seems like lying by omission. Makes me wonder if there's anything else he hasn't told me about. I'm amazed that one of their names has never come up in conversation in relation to something.

I don't know if I am being unreasonable about this though and this is just Facebook stuff and not real life and maybe it doesn't mean a thing.

What do you think?

I am glad you have been reassured by posting here, op

FB "friendships" are not necessarily the same as RL ones (although some are). I have people I haven't seen for 30 years on mine (and have no intention to). Same with DH...old school friends he catches up with occasionally. That is all.

Crikey.... I have tons of male friends on fb, (and a good few of them are exes or men I've slept with) but a fb 'friendship' with them means absolutely nothing at all.

If dh was regularly talking to women online I'd be fuming actually, I mean it's not like he has to chat to these women is it? - he's choosing to.

What's wrong with that is he allowed to choose to talk to men? If it's nothing flirty/sexual I genuinely don't see the problem.

Ive got loads of men I was at school or uni with in my FB. Some I occasionally chat to but I don't even fancy meeting up with any of them for a coffee let alone a date or hanky panky!!

Good lord! You are being pretty paranoid.

I have scores of male friends on Facebook and just about every ex boyfriend and bloke I slept with before getting married. Which is a lot

That really is strange surferjet

Why is it odd to pass the time of day with someone just because they happen to be a different sex from you ?

People use FB in different ways - lots of people pop on now and then and might 'like' or comment on things that happen to be in their feed just them. Doesn't mean you are having an intense relationship with them. I'm in a few groups - for example there's a group where people put up photos of the local area in bygone times. Lots of those people are men. I don't know them from Adam, but it's interesting to see the photos and sometimes chip in with a memory. You'd be fuming all your life if you were married to either me or dh, tbh, because we both see people as - well, er people, to have a chat with. Doesn't really matter if they are a man or a woman, they are just a person commenting on something.

Yes I know I'm being ridiculously paranoid & I really shouldn't post on threads like this. ( I'm jealous. possessive & have self esteem issues ) Plus I judge people by my standards. I'd only chat ( regularly ) to members of the opposite sex if I fancied them you see.

I have lots of male friends on fb. One in particular I used to work with and often tags things he knows I would find funny. My OH hasn't even asked how I know him! Same on his Facebook...
It's not like secret texts or phone calls.