AIBU to be annoyed but say nothing? (Xmas stuff)

[Seeyounearertime]

For the last few years me and my brother have split having my Mum and Step Dad. I'd imagine it's a normal type thing. One year they come to us for dinner, next year they go to my brother and his OH. It worked well because my GF has 2 DC from a previous and on the years we don't have my Mum we have gfs Dc for dinner, on years we have my mu the DC go to their dads.

Now this year we're due to have the DC and my Mum goes to DB.
But this year DBs OH has decided they're going to her daughters again instead and my Mum and step dad arent invited. This leaves my Mum and Step Dad sitting at home on Xmas day for dinner unless we invite them. (Which I inevitably will)

I don't think I'm being unreasonable to be annoyed, but I don't think I should say anything.

potoftea

I find it interesting that no one pointed out that they wouldn't be alone if they stay at home

My parents brought up 9 children and Christmas Dinner was a given. Mum had her last baby when she was 42+ yrs old and my younger brothers hated having 'older parents' when they reached late teens/early twenties. My youngest brother was living at our house whenever university broke up as he simply couldn't face going back to the family home. So, we came up with a plan .... my DH and I (and 3 cats) also went back to the family home for Christmas to support my younger brothers and my parents. The dynamics were so wrong that we had to help. Any year that my DSD had off, she got the coach from the Midlands to the NE.

When the 2 younger brothers married and left home (and did their own thing within their new couple relationship), my DH and I still continued to go to DM's and DF's as they then 'expected us' to be there because we had never been blessed with our own children. My elder siblings were allowed to 'do their own thing' as they had children.

Some people are social animals and love the hustle and bustle around them. When children fly the nest, that doesn't suit the parent dynamics. My parents enjoyed time together and went off on long-weekends, dancing holidays and pilgrimages. But Christmas always had to be 'extra-special' and family orientated.

Invite them, enjoy your day, enjoy been with your family. Think of all the families going through a first christmas without a loved one and be thankful that you have your with you.

I hope that doesn't sound harsh I'm just saying that xmas has become a time of year when families tend to argue and create tension, when we should be grateful we have family to spend it with.

I know what you mean chuckie. Xmas is always a slightly sad time.
My dad, my grand ma, my brother and my son should all be here.

Go for it and have a "take us as you find us" day. The beauty of a roast is you can just supplement it with more roasties, Yorkshires and veg. The amount of meat you eat can really be minimal. I'm sure a visiting guest could be persuaded to bring the Baileys.

How about large Yorkies with turkey slices in the bottom, potato mash on top and dribbled in gravy, veggies on one side or in turines?

I think you come from my area because you call them 'Yorkies'. We had Yorkshire Pudding with beef, lamb, pork, chicken ..... every roast had Yorkies!

Do you know that Yorkshire Pudding with gravy was served as a 'starter' in Yorkshire. It was a way of filling up BEFORE the meat was served.

When I served the roast beef inside the Yorkie, my Mam and Dad went into 'memory land'.

Serve Cranberry sauce between the turkey and the potato if you know that everyone likes it. (I used it as a dollop on top of the potato for my Mam, and kept it 25 yards away for my Dad who hated his meal being 'dressed up')

I have a sure-fire way to make Yorkies without measuring scales:

• Break an egg per person into a large bowl (whisk)
• Add salt and pepper
• Add SIEVED PLAIN flour until you make a paste (whisk)
• Slowly add milk until it becomes a stiff liquid (whisk)
• Add water until it is runny (but still drops off the whisk)
• Put into the fridge for half an hour
• Put oven trays in at Gas Mark 8 for 3 minutes to heat the metal
• Remove the oven trays and put a small amount of fat into them (anything from lard to sunflower oil) - be careful about spattering back
• Back into the oven for about 3 minutes whilst the oil/fat gets really hot
• Get the Yorkie mixture out of the fridge and check that it is still runny and not too thick - add a little bit of water if necessary. It won't be too thin if you didn't overdo the milk/water
• Ladle the Yorkie mix into the oven tin (if it doesn't spatter now you are in trouble )
• Put into the hot oven and cook for 40 minutes.
• DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN DOOR during cooking.

This works every time!

When I first got married, I couldn't make Yorkies for 2 of us because I had only been taught how to make them 'by eye' in Mam's bowl for 10-12 people. I followed recipes and weighed my flour and eggs - and I still had disasters.

When I learned that the flour had to match the eggs, I was on a roll......

HTH

Don't necessarily assume that they will be devastated if they have to spend Christmas at home. We either go to our daughters or one or another or both of them come to us with their families. We let them decide. I love seeing them on the big day, but also sort of hoping for a quiet one at some point.

I would cook whatever we felt like, eat Christmas pudding (only my husband and I eat the stuff), watch films and wear my pyjamas all day.

I find it interesting that no one pointed out that they wouldn't be alone if they stay at home uninvited elsewhere..they'd have each other.
I've no idea what you should do as I don't know your family dynamics or mothers health, but my DC are all in their 20s now and I feel that its only a matter of time until dh and I have some Christmases alone again, just like we did when we first married. And I don't mind really, as long as I see my DC over the Christmas season, I would be happy that they are free to spend the day itself how they want. To me any couple aren't alone, they are together.

potoftea explained it much better than I did.