To rehome my dog

[Crazypetlady]

Not really an AIBU as such I need the traffic and blunt honesty.Sorry for length.

My dog is a husky /collie chow/collie nobody is really sure. We rescued him before I had my ds. .He is ok with a select few dogs.He is a very nervous dog. When we rescued him the owner lied and said his behaviour was better than it is we were told he lived with five other dogs and no cats. We have since found an old re homing add about our dog which has completely different information to this.

He shows signs of being abused flinches away bolts when I move the newspaper or the mop and is wary of strangers. He will bark and growl when they enter the house this got worse when ds was born.Once they come inside he is fine.

He has been around friends babies since we had him and has had no problems he is relaxed and shows no fear.He acts the same around ds 23 weeks.He has also been around toddlers in prams and has sat being stroked quite happily.The toddlers he met outside.

I have a six year old cousin who visited she came in and sat down with us and he growled and ran away and hid behind me, we went for a walk and he settled but when he met her again a few months later he did the same.
He seemed to be scared of her but she hadn't jumped by him or stroked him and she wasn't loud.He seems wary of her.

He has never been in close contact with another child because of this and I am to wary to do it again. He doesn't seem to mind children the same age on his walk.

I love him but my sons safety is first he has never shown any negativity towards my son and has only met one older child in the house but I am Has anybody got any experience of this?I think re homing is the best option but am worried nobody would have him.I don't know if it is just my cousin he is nervous of or other children but that is difficult to tell .

I just need advice really and a bit of a shake I think.

I found the same Dinglethdragon our quite aggressive with other dogs boxer adored children. Long before we had kids she always looked really interested in children we met on walks and very happy to be fussed by them. I think she saw them as adults but more fun and easier to steal food off. Our nervous dog acted like our toddler was a completely new species.

Try working with a behaviourist before rehoming him. I understand your concerns but just because he was nervous towards one child doesn't mean he would be the same with your son, who he has known all his life.

If you do rehome your dog, please seek the advice of a reputable rescue, some can advertise him and do homechecks etc while he is still in your care or could have him fostered so rescue doesn't=kennels. As he may have been abused in the past and already has behavioural issues it's so important that he goes to a forever home that can cope with those issues. You can't guarantee that with a private rehoming.

I used to have a fear aggressive dog who was actually aggressive, bit various people. He was always fine with dd. It was just strangers and Dh who he used to attack.

Getting a dog used to a muzzle takes some doing and involves squeezy cheese. Check out some YouTube videos. When someone comes to visit put the dog in a separate room or muzzle him.

Chances are he won't evr be scared of your ds as he knows him. But always watch a small child and a dog.

The dog has a melt down in another room he jumps and bangs on the door and whines and barks he is too worried about is going on when he isn't there. I will separate him if children are round but it isn't quite as simple as him just laying in the other room.

He is never not supervised, he is a very strong dog I just worry as things only take a split second, I do trust him not to hurt me personally though.

I have budgeted for a behaviourist now and I am trying to find a more local one as I don't drive,

If it does come to rehoming then he will stay with me until along with a rescue a home can be found but I my also speak to the vet about something for his nerves.

Thank you for all the help

We tried the soft muzzle as I felt bad for him in the plastic/metal but I will youtube it thank you

I think he needs some serious work with an expert behaviourist/trainer.

if you can't do that please don't rehome him. it's just passing on the problem and it could he he's had many many homes and much trauma given that you were lied to and heaven knows where he's really been.

you either need to find an expert who can either help you turn him.around or knows of a specialist home with very experienced people.

if you truly can't put the work.in.or can't afford to don't just pass him on.

a shelter could easily do far.more damage and he needs a specialist home that may take a long time to come by.

I'll he flamed for this.but honestly if you can't do it, you decide you can't keep him, and you can't find a specialist home then it might be kinder to have him.pts

last resort obviously but Imo better than.the risk.of him.bpuncimg from.home to home.to home.woth people lying about hos issues.

Dogs are social animals, they distinguish between who is family and who is a stranger. Your dog is showing that he's fine with people he knows and any babies, as he knows they are not a threat. But older children (and adults and dogs) who he doesn't know are scary to him, so you should always actively supervise or separate him from children he doesn't know. I wouldn't be concerned about your son, given that they're growing up together and your dogs anxiety issues are not with family members, but obviously that's easy to say from an objective standpoint and must be much more difficult when you're in the actual situation.

If you feel you can't relax in your home, your own tension might create problems that weren't there, as your anxieties will feed his. It's ok to not be able to cope with the situation. Make sure you are honest about his anxious behaviours (and any other needs - exercise etc) with any potential new owners, and rehome him with an adult only family.

I am horrified that a healthy animal who has shown signs of fear around one child is being urged to be PTS.

There are times when this is appropriate. This is not one of them.

OP Where abouts are you? I can recommend a behaviourist if you're near me in the south.

Also how old is your dog now?

I said if there is no where suitable to go and she decides she really can't keep him.

hopefully a trainer will be able to sort it all out. but you have to be so careful with finding homes. you can never be sure what a person wants with him.

and as has already happened you can never be sure what issues an animal.has. this dog has been rehome twice. that they know.of.

could be more.

A dog growling isn't a bad thing you know.

It's their way of communicating that they're not happy/they want more space/want you to stop doing something, etc. He can't speak so this is how he tells you.

If you listen yo him and realise what he wants you to do and do it you are very unlikely to have a problem.

Am I right in thinking he's never snapped, never bitten?

The dog has shown that he is frightened of a child. Hardly unusual behaviour on the part of a dog. Children are unintentionally noisy and frightening to some animals, however delightful they may be to their nearest and dearest.

You do not put a dog to sleep on that basis. Frankly, I think that's appalling to suggest it.

Perhaps in turn I will be flamed but buying a large and energetic breed like the one described is a task for an experienced dog owner and it is beyond irritating when people decide their home will be enhanced by an intelligent working breed and then want to rehome when all gets difficult. As I've said, there are times when rehoming is for the best. This sounds a little too much like 'I can't be bothered with the dog and the baby' - sorry.

The fact that he growled and moved away is really good.

My aggressive dog would growl and then lunge at people, or even worse not growl and just go straight to a bite.

A dg barking/growling at a stranger coming in the house and who then is fine when he realises they're not a burglar also seems ok to me.

OP, I may have missed it, how old is your dog? Under 2 you may well with help be able to train your dog, over 2 it might be a lot harder. It is a tough one.

I have a collie who can be a handful, he hates being behind a closed door but a stairgate is fine. You will need them anyway as your DC grows up.

I don't know what a collie chow is, but I imagine a collie husky x is a lively dog.

How do you manage long walks with a baby? I live in a remote rural spot & the only dog walkers I meet in awful weather have collies, huskies or spaniels :) everyone else stays in...

Thank you, I am willing to put the effort in and get a behaviourist., A lot of the problem I think is where we live now I lived in a tourist village in wales so busy in summer but dead in winter with plenty of space he loved it, he even tolerated other dogs from a far.

We rented privately and the landlord decided to come back as I was pregnant we didn't want to be homeless and with less than a week left to move and the council telling us to stay put we had to move to where we could. I live in a welsh town now it is a lot busier and there is a lot less space to move him from other dogs he also gets nervous in the really busy situation. To combat this he is walked at night by my d.p.

I am looking to move now ds is 6 months to somewhere more rural as his behaviour was still bad but he was more relaxed. He has some dog friends which he has never had an issue with and sometimes on a walk will be fine and wag his tail others not I think it may be neurosis .

I won't rehome him with just anyone or put him in a rescue and I will get him help. I do somewhat agree that after all avenues have been tried if for any reason things don't work out being pts would possibly be kind. I don't want to think of that though. I am getting some recommendation for local classes etc.

Good luck crazy

I hope the classes can help.

He is 4 , dp walks him at night I can't as I need both hands to walk him, he is very strong even with his ruffwear. He is gorgeous though very butter wouldn't melt.

You need to see a behavior specialist ASAP. What I can say, though, is that you are responding precisely the wrong way when pup is nervous. (I don't mean to sound critical, I did the same - you are treating the pup as though he's a child) When pup is scared, cuddling him or petting him actually reinforces that there is valid reason for him to be afraid. What he needs is a leader to show him there's nothing to fear. So remain upbeat and matter-of-fact, but don't console him. It sounds counterintuitive but you are doing more harm than good.

His behavior doesn't sound that bad, and easily dealt with - but make sure you're doing it right. Good luck!

And start walking him in the day! You need to "confront" his fears, as it were.

OP, I think a crate would be a very good idea as a start. The way you describe your dog becoming distressed when you shut him in another room, makes me feel that he needs a safe space WITHIN the room where no one can bother him. With comfy cushions and lots of treats to create a positive association, and never let anyone pester or reach into the crate.

A DAP collar and/or diffusers can also help with anxious dogs. Reviewing all your basic commands (with treats) and learning new tricks or clicker training are also very rewarding, and I've used these techniques for "reactive" dogs who have trouble encountering other dogs on walks. I'm also a big fan of halti-type leads with dogs that struggle as well.

The ladies in the doghouse are full of good information.

Can you have a look for a local obedience class? I take my puppy and there have been others there with issues that have been helped by discipline (we're a no hands group so everything is done by clicker/reward) and confidence building. It might help with his confidence and also you would have the support of professionals.

Thank you GilesHopefully it all works out.
No that is fineWong He is very nervous so it is hard not to baby him I agree it is couter productive hopefully with the behaviourists help we can both improve.

Yep, definitely get a nose lead/ halti if he pulls on the lead. It's gentle and he won't pull. Then you can walk him with one hand. Pop baby into a carrier and you'll be well away.

Also look for Zyklene on Amazon. I found it made a positive difference to my dog.

OP our golden retriever had the shock of his life when I had DD. He had always been my baby - cuddled and fussed a lot - although he isn't allowed upstairs or on sofas but had his own pen from 12 weeks and gradually moved him to ordinary bed.

He acts like he has been beaten and abused his whole life. Flinches, dashes away from so much as something falling off sofa onto the floor. He is terrified of so many things. Including, unfortunately,DD. She has been allowed near him very gradually as long as she's gentle and quiet. She's mostly very good but only 2 still. He's never so much as curled a lip at her but I was scared.

Like you I thought this anxiety might mean we had to rehome but as a previous poster said your son will grow with him and it's up to you, with help from an expert hopefully,to make the dog feel as safe as possible.

I try to make sure ours has plenty of fuss both when DD is around and out of the room. And discourage any reckless shouty behaviour around him. Each month he gets better. He was trying to lick her hands earlier and she thought it was hilarious. I just put all my energy into protecting them both and making sure she learns to be caring and gentle with him.