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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go to work when the baby is unwell

75 replies

Blarblarblar · 22/11/2015 08:08

DC2 has just turned 1. He has a burst eardrum, lots of puss etc poor wee thing was in a lot of distress.
He started antibiotics yesterday. Seems in fine form today I'm alternating paracetamol and ibuprofen (as advised)
Doctor said I should keep him off nursery for next couple of days ( he's not contagious) but I have some really important meetings and I'll really let people down if I don't go in.
AIBU to put him to nursery and go to work? I'm pretty sure I know how this will go (awful mother that I am)

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 22/11/2015 08:48

The work/ sick baby dilemma is a nightmare.

I wouldn't send him to nursery personally.

His resistance is already low and we all know nurseries and kids are full of low level bugs that get spread around so easily.

He'll recover more quickly at home for a few days.

Original poster

Blarblarblar · 22/11/2015 08:49

He's running about with DC1 laughing and screaming honestly hard to believe he has anything wrong with him but I do t know how delicate his ear is I suppose.
Thank you for advice. DH can not take it off he like me is the only one who does what he does in the organisation so if we aren't there it's not done. I am going to see if I can get hold of my boss and try and call my clients today ( not great on a Sunday but more warning is better I think) reschedule for next week.

OP posts:

HackerFucker22 · 22/11/2015 08:50

Sometimes being a working mother is the shittiest thing on Earth.

Could you just go in for your meetings? Or dial in?

I remember a recent thread that was quite similar (child was school age but same issue - ear infection / puss / antibiotics / child seemed ok / mother had no help) and I really felt for the mum as she knew that taking a few days off when child technically wasn't ill would mean she'd be fucked next time child was actually ill.

I'd speak to nursery tomorrow and of course see how child is. Hopefully antibiotics and medicine will help.

TheoriginalLEM · 22/11/2015 08:52

your Dr has advised keeping him home from nursery. Keep him home!!

Pseudo341 · 22/11/2015 08:52

My DDs nursery won't take children who are dependent on calpol, and they won't administer calprofen. They'll administer one dose of calpol if a child has a temperature but that is all, they'd send a child home who needed any more than that. If your nursery is happy to take him and keep him drugged up and he really is fine then I don't see a problem. I take it there's no father around who can stay home instead?

ChatEnOeuf · 22/11/2015 08:54

If he's fine in himself, not contagious and the nursery will give him the antibiotics then you're not unreasonable to go to work. It sucks being a working mum sometimes

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 22/11/2015 08:55

If he's running about happily today then Id send him to nursery tomorrow. He doesn't sound poorly, sounds like the meds have started working.

NorthernLurker · 22/11/2015 08:57

If he is his normal self and the nursery are happy to give antibiotics and calpol I would send him in, move your meetings to as early in the day as you can and then leave early. Please ignore the sanctimonious posters screaming your child must come first above everything. The child has an ear infection. It's been treated. They will likely be fine tomorrow.

The op has responsibilities to other people too and what she's doing is trying to balance those. Good for her

tobysmum77 · 22/11/2015 09:01

If he's fine in himself send him to nursery. End of, doctor saw him yesterday and was probably forgetting it was Saturday and meant yesterday and today!

ZenNudist · 22/11/2015 09:01

If he's fine and can participate normally in nursery then send him in. If he is going to be flopped in a corner looking ill I wouldn't.

Why did doctor say to keep him off nursery. Sounds like doctor hasn't a clue that nursery is not like school or work and dc are still cared for even if not by a parent.

JsOtherHalf · 22/11/2015 09:04

DS's nursery would give antibiotics from the second day of taking them, as well as prescribed calpol and ibuprofen.

DS used to go with an ear infection, as long as he'd had a day of antibiotics at home.

MrsPear · 22/11/2015 09:05

Go to work. Ds2 had this recently and quite frankly once the ear drum burst he was fine. Stopped wanting me every second of the day and no temp. If worked I would have returned as this point.

Threeboysandus · 22/11/2015 09:06

If he is running around then I would say it's fine to leave him. He's not contagious. Some very judgy comments on here. Kids receiver very quickly from illness.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 22/11/2015 09:06

After seeing your update send him in.

He is well enough to be playing and screaming playfully then I can see him being different in nursery.

Original poster

Blarblarblar · 22/11/2015 09:08

It's so tough because like some have said, with two there will be plenty times DH and I will NEED to be home and take time off but he just seems fine.
I wish it was my last job I fucking hated it and wouldn't have cared but this is my dream job/career and I want to do well.
I've texted my boss now and I'll start phoning clients.

OP posts:

Aliceinwonderlust · 22/11/2015 09:09

I would send him in. If nursery are happy to take him (mine would be) I can't think why the doctor would specify what sort of childcare he needs, that isn't really any of his business

Original poster

Blarblarblar · 22/11/2015 09:13

Well shit I've told boss now, I'll look pretty crazy changing it but my mum can watch him Tues and Wed so I'll just give him some recovery time away from the other infected monkeys and hopefully that's better for him. He has been sick for about 3 months on and off now

OP posts:

tobysmum77 · 22/11/2015 09:15

So decision made and no need to worry about whether he'll seem poorly later today etc. All good and its only one day

Womaloosh · 22/11/2015 09:18

That's great Blar. I'm sure your boss will appreciate that you've arranged care so that you can work. Sounds like DS is doing well.

Lweji · 22/11/2015 09:18

The first winter in nursery is well known to be a health nightmare.

My ds only started at 3, but was at home for most of the first term till Christmas.
It does get better. :)

EnoughAlreadyNow · 22/11/2015 09:19

Speaking as the Mother of a two year old who has already had several year infections, if the ear drum has already burst and he's on the antibiotics then he'll be fine to send into nursery now. The worst will have been before you knew what was wrong.

Ideally, we'd all take time off when our children have the mildest of sniffles but that's just not possible in most cases.

I'm a single parent with a demanding full-time job (IT live service). Since starting my new job a few months ago, my DS has really been hit with all the new nursery bugs. Most of the time, I can take him to a relative's house whilst I work from home but there have been times when he's not 100%/nursery calling to give him Calpol etc and I've had to stay on top of an issue at work. Not ideal, but I'd never voluntarily put us in the position were we're dependent on welfare; not with this Government.

SanityClause · 22/11/2015 09:21

You are best placed to know whether he will cope with nursery, or not. It sounds like he'll be fine.

When mine were little, I had a nanny, so I could leave them with her if they were ill, and I knew she would look after them, and contact me if needed. She, like your nursery nurses will be, was first aid trained - more than you can say for most parents.

Fuckitfay · 22/11/2015 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stripyhoglets · 22/11/2015 09:29

If he's ok in himself and nursery are happy to give antibiotics, and he's not contagious - I would have sent him in.

KinkyDorito · 22/11/2015 09:33

Sometimes being a working mother is the shittiest thing on Earth. This. Sympathy OP.

I would judge on how he seems in himself. If he is bright and acting normally let him go in, but when you are at work put things in place in case you get the call from nursery.

It's an awful situation.

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