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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is my friend re baby name 'copying'

50 replies

lifeinslowmotion · 21/11/2015 22:56

My friend has a daughter who is five and I have just had a baby girl a week ago. We have chosen a name which is a shortened version of her daughter's, along the lines of Penelope and Penny. I had always planned to use this name if I had a little girl as it is after my late grandmother.

However my friend has a massive issue with the names being so similar and asked why I can't pick something different or use it as a middle name. She has also taken offence that I have chosen the name and not spoken to her about it beforehand.

So AIBU or is she?

OP posts:
PennyPants · 22/11/2015 00:11

My cousins daughter had a baby recently and was going to name it after DD. We were really chuffed. She had a boy though.
Naming the dog after her husband is a brilliant idea and made me Grin

CalleighDoodle · 22/11/2015 00:35

When i named my dd my criend said she always wanted that name for one is she had twin girls. Anyway when she had her third and it was a girl i just assumed she would be using the name and me and my children would do the same as we do with any child with the same name as one of mine, they become Baby daughter's-name. She didnt use it in the end. I told her i was expecting baby my-daugters-name as it would be cute.

Your friend is BVU.

CalleighDoodle · 22/11/2015 00:35

And please get the dog!

BikeRunSki · 22/11/2015 00:39

She is being very silly.

GruntledOne · 22/11/2015 01:27

Point out that if anything she stole the name off you as you decided long ago to call any daughter of yours after your grandmother.

But with a 5 year age difference she really is being utterly ridiculous. It sounds from what you're saying that it's not that unusual a name, and of course she doesn't own it.

Cake0rdeath · 22/11/2015 08:24

DH's friend (very close-see every other week) used our DS's name for their DC.

couldnt give a toss. It's a great name. She is being entirely unreasonable-tell her to get a grip.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 22/11/2015 08:29

She is BU. Massively.
It's all about meeeeeeee!

catfordbetty · 22/11/2015 08:34

Keep the name. Lose the friend. Only an idiot would lay claim to a name.

PiperChapstick · 22/11/2015 08:35

She is being VVVU. Why do people think they own a name?!

Fourarmsv2 · 22/11/2015 08:35

My DSis named her DS the same name as my DS2. We see them once or twice a week. Usually DS2 is called the short version and her DS1 the long. Only causes problems when my DS2 is naughty!

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 22/11/2015 09:03

Your friend is being a dick.

Having a go at you about something so trivial when you gave birth a week ago (congratulations Flowers) is a cunty thing to do.

WeirdCatLadyIsFeelingFestive · 22/11/2015 09:16

Obviously YANBU, your 'friend' is an arse.

My best mate's dd3 has the same middle name as my dd, she asked if I minded, I was ridiculously chuffed. I know they chose the name because they liked it, not because of my dd, but it still makes me Smile.

SquinkiesRule · 22/11/2015 09:21

Silly there are so many kids born on the same day even with the same name.
In our family we have three cousins all boys called Alec, Alex and Alexander. No one cared. Now they are a bit older, they don't ever see each other and all have different surnames.

Member147167 · 22/11/2015 09:24

When I was expecting my first son, I wanted to use my Grandfather's and fathers's name but my brother said he had first dibs on it- he said the name should come down he male side.
12 months after I had my son, he had his and gave him the name as a middle name Angry
3 years later I had another son but didn't use the name as in the team i worked in one member had just had a son and called it him and the other had just had a grandson and it was his name too. I thought it would seem odd if I used it as well.
17 years on, I don't see any of those former work collegues and regret not giving DS a name which would have perhaps suit him more than his actual name.

Do what you want!

GothJoose · 22/11/2015 09:31

People can be funny about names.

If a friend chose my dds name, or something similar, I would be annoyed because I'm weird like that but I would never say anything apart from congratulations!

FellOffMyUnicorn · 22/11/2015 09:32

No one owns a bloody name

flustercuck · 22/11/2015 09:45

Your friend is Cunty McCunterson from the planet Twat.

Use any name you choose.

Foslady · 22/11/2015 09:47

My niece has just had a little boy and has given him the male version of my dd's name (she has the Scottish variance of -ina on the end). I feel quite chuffed about it!!!

Friend is being a precious prat - name as you wish

KERALA1 · 22/11/2015 09:52

Hope it's not eve. Most girls in our neighbourhood are called eve. She would be apoplectic if it is!

summerainbow · 22/11/2015 10:05

I would have been nice to ask my exdh best freinds name their 1st born the same as one of mine( they do use the shorten version ) they ask cos my eldest surgest it we were not worried at all. They are grown up now they met about 10 times growing up. Never worried them.

InternalMonologue · 22/11/2015 10:18

She is being massively unreasonable.

Get the dog. That'll learn her Grin

abbsismyhero · 22/11/2015 10:20

so i had a baby let say henry jim and dhs stepbrother had a baby after and called him jim henry this didn't annoy me what annoyed me was granny persists in calling jim henry by his name and my son is called the bab when my son was younger he loved fifi and the flowertots she bought jim henry a wonderful fifi toy lovingly packaged it and sent it to him (they live overseas) my son he got a cheap toy that was broken in the packaging and i slung it out before new year my ex actually challenged her as to why she just didn't buy two fifi toys she said it was because she wanted to buy them different toys to play with so they won't get confused Hmm they live thousands of miles away seriously they are probably never going to meet!

sometimes its not the people who name the babies but the people surrounding who make it an issue Grin

Flowers congratulations by the way

m0therofdragons · 22/11/2015 10:22

Dd1 has the same name as friend's dd1 but there's an age gap and different schools. Df was flattered and lovely about it. She is still my df years on despite living miles away now. Your df is ridiculous.
Once df asked if she could use dd2s name if she had another dd as she loves it so much and hadn't thought of it until we used it. Of course she can.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 22/11/2015 10:47

I think there are 4 occasions where you shouldn't use the same name as a friend / family member:-

  1. Sibling - with so many names out there it seems a bit daft for grandparents to have two grandchildren called "Jim"
  2. Family member with the same surname (you don't really want two "Fred Shufflebottoms in the same family!)
  3. Very close friend with a child of a very similar age who are likely to go to the same school and be in the same year (particularly if only one class entry). Again would cause problems with identification.
  4. Friend or family member whose child has died.

However, if you have called your child Penny and the other child is Penelope (and never Penny) then I think that only (4) applies.

m0therofdragons · 22/11/2015 11:16

Child who died would be my only exception. Dh and df have the same name and we have never confused them.

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