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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children taking seats on the tube

43 replies

BlueBlueSea · 20/11/2015 17:22

I know there was a thread about this before, but I wanted to see what you think I should have done in this situation.

On the tube this afternoon. Load of primary school kids got on, lots of noise and pushing for seats. two kids jumped onto the seat next to me. A chap getting on behind them said 'hey, you two off' and when they got off the seat he sat down. The teacher glared and shouted 'Thank you!' at him. His response was that they should not have taken the seat. Nothing more was said. Most of them did manage to sit down and others were holding on. I did not give up my seat. Nor did anyone else.

I do not feel obliged to give up my seat for kids, but I do think he was in the wrong telling them to get up so he could sit down. I wanted to say something but felt that he was a bit aggressive and I did not want a row on the tube.

AIBU in thinking he was wrong and I should have said something.

OP posts:
ThoughtfulBird · 20/11/2015 17:24

Who cares? He thinks he's entitled and I personally don't.

The End

Palomb · 20/11/2015 17:25

He was a rude bastard and you should have said something. I wouldn't make my children move for an adult unless the adult was elderly, disabled or pregnant. I do think toddlers should sit on laps but if a child is only enough to pay they have as much right to the seat as anyone.

m1nniedriver · 20/11/2015 17:26

I was always told as a child to give my seat up for older people, I still do. Surely it's just a sign of respect, although that guy sounds like a dick!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 20/11/2015 17:30

Palomb
The children don't pay, so that might have been his logic.

He was a rude idiot. It is easier for an adult to hold on in a tube than a child as they can't reach the overhead bars. I would always prefer the children to be sitting down than wobbling about bumping into each other and me

I don't think saying anything to him would have made a blind bit of different to his behaviour.

Jollyphonics · 20/11/2015 17:31

I would be mortified if a child gave up their seat for me. I'm perfectly fit and able to stand, I'm 48 and I'd be gutted if I looked so old and infirm that they thought I couldn't manage!

WorraLiberty · 20/11/2015 17:33

What was it that you wanted to say?

I'm sure the teacher would have said something if they thought it necessary.

BlueBlueSea · 20/11/2015 17:34

What I felt I should have pointed out to him is that they were small kids, about 30 of them, they could not all hold on to the poles and they could not reach the high bar, so why was he more entitled to sit than they were.

It was not a busy train and they found enough seats so that one of the teachers sat too.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 20/11/2015 17:34

But that's your projection Jolly

Many kids are taught to offer their seat to an adult - not just the elderly.

WorraLiberty · 20/11/2015 17:36

I think he acted like a wanker but I do think it was down to the teacher to say something, if something needed to be said.

He was probably pissed off with them pushing for seats. Not that it excuses his rudeness.

zzzzz · 20/11/2015 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pythonesque · 20/11/2015 17:54

Well, where I grew up (not UK) it was actually a rule on public transport that children should not occupy seats if adults were standing. Certainly on my train journeys to school I had a good sense of which seats adults didn't tend to take even if there were no others, and would choose them in preference to ones I might well need to give up ...

jay55 · 20/11/2015 17:55

Did they push past him to get to the seat?

TaliZorah · 20/11/2015 17:57

He was an arsehole and I would have told him as much and offered my seat to the kids.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 20/11/2015 17:57

I have taught my children to offer their seat to an adult in situations where the child can easily stand.

I think the tube is a bit different though and we've often had adults offer seats to the children, as it is harder for them to hang on, certainly when they are younger. When they were small enough I'd always sit one on my lap but they're a bit heavy for that now!

That man was rude.

cleaty · 20/11/2015 17:58

I can't reach the overhead bars as I am short. Nobody has ever offered me a seat on that basis.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/11/2015 18:00

He was bloody rude. much better wobbly small children are sat down where possible as it's safer. provided ill,disabled, pregnant and elderly people aren't in more need of the seat.

but given the other threads included comments such as children's bones heal quicker if they get hurt, I doubt many will agree.

however on a packed train kids are vulnerable to being pushed, shoved, separated from their adult and unable to reach something to hold on to or get hit in face with back packs it is better IMO they are seated.

but some people think.a few years makes them more entitled to a seat over someone getting hurt.

TaliZorah · 20/11/2015 18:01

but given the other threads included comments such as children's bones heal quicker if they get hurt, I doubt many will agree.

That is a horrible thing to say :(

cleaty · 20/11/2015 18:02

Nobody gives you a seat on the tube, even when you really need it. And a 10 year old is far more capable of standing than many older adults.

Spilose · 20/11/2015 18:04

The man was rude. Kids legs get tired and I wouldn't dream of asking a child to move for me. However if a class of children got on I wouldn't automatically offer my seat either.

MrsKCastle · 20/11/2015 18:06

It depends to a certain extent on the size/age of the children. Class of 4/5/6 year olds, I'd expect adults to allow the children to sit. 9/10/11 year old, I'd expect the children to offer seats to adults.

Either way, the man was rude and should have asked politely for the seat.

MrsKCastle · 20/11/2015 18:09

Just to add, I'm always surprised by the view that children should automatically stand for adults. When I take my 4 and 7 year olds on the tube, someone nearly always offers them a seat if it's busy.

expatinscotland · 20/11/2015 18:11

He was rude. And a twat. I'd give up my seat for kids. They are more vulnerable than adults, IMO. But on MN this always turns into tales of the legions of adult Tube users who have spent the past 20 hours toiling down the mines and need a seat.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/11/2015 18:11

I always offer small children seats too. I've seen a kid go flying and left bleeding on a bus thanks to the fact the bus had to do a sudden stop and mum was trying to hold on to the bus and onto her child. (I was already standing or shed have had my seat)

cleaty · 20/11/2015 18:13

I am shocked that your young DCs get offered a seat on the tube. I am visibly disabled and if anyone offers a seat to me it is always an old person.

Teacakequeen · 20/11/2015 18:31

When we visit London, we have to pay for children's travel cards.