Trivial domestic but I'm now home alone.

[patterkiller]

DH had a day off, I had to work from home for a few hours so he took DCs, also off school, for breakfast.

I went up to get showered ten minutes before they left. They shouted bye, I continued to dry my hair.

So, I came down stairs to find the dogs free range in the kitchen, they are always locked out of the kitchen as they are Labradors and greedy feckers who have learned to open the bin, hence contents of the bin either in the floor or in their guts.

I group texted the three to say, I wasn't cleaning either the rubbish or the subsequent dog illness up and they needed to sort it when they get back.

DH came home livid with me and it wasn't his job to baby sit the dogs especially as he wasn't in the house. Teens also said as they weren't here wasn't their fault. They did clean it up but I've had the silent treatment all day.

They have now gone out for food, I was asked as an afterthought. I declined as I'm pretty sure I would have spoilt the atmosphere.

I don't think I was BU but it seems three against one and I'm now sitting home alone while they are out at a nice restaurant.

My reply to the DH and his silent treatment might run somewhere along the lines of:

"Oh FFS, surely you can't still have your knickers in a twist because you know you fucked up this morning. How childish!"

With mine it would tend to make him sulk a little more, but he would then slowly emerge.

You send passive aggressive texts, he sulks and refuses to speak to you. Your kids are left trying to play peacemaker. Grow up, ffs

How was the text PA. It was fact.

Well it sounds to me that you feel that no-one other than you takes the need to keep the dogs out of the kitchen seriously. Therefore making sure someone else deals with the consequences was very reasonable in an effort to get across that it isn't just you laying down unnecessary rules.

The balance of how to manage the rest - tricky. Hope it's better in the morning.

It sounds like your DH is manipulating your children against you. How nasty. I'd have expected him to clean up and get the kids to help if they were partly responsible too. In the end, he just taught them that mum can't complain and if she does, we'll be nasty to her. What a horrible example to set, both in this instance and about shared family responsibility and respect too.

The text was certainly not passive aggressive.

It was an effective way of getting the point across that the OP should not be the only one taking responsibility for the dogs, and that actions, or lack of them because the DH and the kids did not secure the dogs before going out, have consequences.

OP, YANBU! I would have hated that and I hate other people not taking responsibility for things that are their fault!

Your dh is being a pain still giving you the silent treatment.

Have a lovely evening in and I hope things are better tomorrow.

Maybe you need to have a family chat about chores and everyone pulling their weight??

Meant to say too, your dh has behaved really shittily. He should be backing you up, not taking the dc's side against you! He's setting a really crappy example.

To be fair if it was first thing and they were hurrying to school it could have been an accident. You could just have moved the dogs out of the kitchen and not been a whinge.

Also refusing to go out was dragging it out for no real reason.

Ah, lovely Labs. Our late lamented Lab was a real garbage hound, too. In our house whoever was the last to leave the area was responsible for locking the garbage bin away. In this case I would have expected my DH to either do it himself or be sure one of the kids did it since I would have already been upstairs. And I would have been really pissed to come downstairs and find garbage all over the floor.

I probably wouldn't have sent a text, and I would have cleaned up the mess rather than have it sit there unless I expected them back soon, but there would have been 'words' when they got home and DH would have owed me, big time.

To be fair if it was first thing and they were hurrying to school it could have been an accident

Nope, they all had the day off and were on their way for a late breakfast.

Also Dcs are 16 and 18. This wasn't a hurried stressed school run.

Surely it was just an accident? Annoying yes, but still an accident.