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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why the hell my mum has bought such a big house

61 replies

pinkcoww · 19/11/2015 14:43

NC as may be quite revealing.

My mum has been with her boyfriend for almost 2 years and they recently bought a new build house together as he had sold his house in London (we live in the north). It was £280,000 (quite expensive for where we live) for a 4 bed terraced house with 3 bedrooms and they've got some of it on a mortgage. They had to fork out loads in solicitor fees and whatnot.

They now do not have enough money left to hire a van to remove their remaining stuff or any money to furnish this big house. Half the rooms are literally empty. It's a lovely house don't get me wrong but I find new builds too little for their price. They have a lot of rooms but are very small in perspective.

I really don't understand why they have bought such a big expensive house when they only need a 2 bed one. I am the only child and they are not planning on having more children. Neither sides have a vast family either. They clearly couldn't afford the whole thing really as they can barely put food on their table now they are in said house. I've been lending them money for food shopping, which I don't mind doing really. Plus they have to struggle moving things in two small cars because they can't hire anymore vans. My mum has even considered selling her car (which she really needs to commute to work) to furnish the house. AIBU to think they were stupid to go for that house?

OP posts:
shutupanddance · 19/11/2015 16:01

Whats wrong woth three bathrooms in 4 bed houseConfused

Original poster
pinkcoww · 19/11/2015 16:06

She was wanting to make one of the rooms a lovely nursery/playroom for my daughter but can no longer afford to buy any baby things. I only live 15 minutes away from her anyway and have reassured her that if she wants my daughter to stay sometimes then i will get a travel cot for her to use. Other than that i'm not sure of what they'll use the rest of the house for as the both work full hours and are only early/mid 40s so wont be retiring any time soon. I have expressed my concern of a possible break up to my mum but fear she is stuck in a fantasy. She seems very miserable at the momentSad

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 19/11/2015 16:06

I think it's that only 2 people live there and it appears that they may not be able to afford it.

Also, many new houses often have tiny rooms, no storage and a myriad of en suites and downstairs cloakrooms. Many people would rather have 'only' 2 toilets and room for some wardrobes and somewhere out of sight to keep the vacuum cleaner.

Original poster
pinkcoww · 19/11/2015 16:10

3 bathrooms isn't a very common thing in my town, old houses with 4 bedrooms only usually have a bathroom and a downstairs loo if they're lucky!

OP posts:
Greengardenpixie · 19/11/2015 16:16

Whats wrong with 3 bathrooms

Its lavish and unnecessary tbh.
They sound like they have overstretched themselves for a dream house that most probably will turn into their house of hell when the repayments bite. Totally out of order asking you for money too.

maybebabybee · 19/11/2015 16:19

People are funny about houses. I think it's all relative to how you grew up really. One of my colleagues keeps banging on about how she needs a four bedroom house as she is expecting a third baby...my four siblings and I grew up in a four bedroom house and shared and it was just what was normal. DP and I are currently buying somewhere and it's a 2 bed with no garden - we're currently expecting our first and people are always Shock that we're getting a flat and not a house. But I want to stay in London near my family, and I'd rather stay in London and have a flat than move out of London and have a house.

Think it really depends on your priorities to be honest!!

shutupanddance · 19/11/2015 16:19

I have 2 ensuites, a main bathroom and diwnstairs lo in my 4 beds. With 4 dcs its not lavish at all.

Greengardenpixie · 19/11/2015 16:20

You could live without it. You dont need to have it.
Thats lavish sorry.

shutupanddance · 19/11/2015 16:23

Is that to me Green? I didnt say i needed it. Talk abouy green eyed.

Greengardenpixie · 19/11/2015 16:29

I am just saying its lavish thats all.
No green eye here.
I live in a mansion.

Greengardenpixie · 19/11/2015 16:30

and yes that is lavish.

shutupanddance · 19/11/2015 16:32

Course you do GreenHmm

OnlyHereForTheCamping · 19/11/2015 16:34

Things are always tight when you move house. They are both working, it will sort itself out.

Rafflesway · 19/11/2015 16:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

timelytess · 19/11/2015 16:40

She bought it so there was plenty of space for my sister and I and our families to visit. But we never do
As it stands, with no further background information, that's heartbreaking. It makes me want to cry.

maybebabybee · 19/11/2015 16:44

I have 2 ensuites, a main bathroom and diwnstairs lo in my 4 beds. With 4 dcs its not lavish at all.

Disagree. It is lavish. I grew up in a house of six and we only had one bathroom (and an outside loo). Managed perfectly well.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 19/11/2015 16:53

Dh's cousin bought a nice house and promptly built two massive extensions. It's now absolutely enormous with a huge kitchen and great big reception rooms and landscaped back garden. They ran out of money, had to remortgage and borrowed from the parents. Why can't people live within their means? We're not talking a few quid but thousands of pounds mortgaged up to the hilt. It's madness. So entitled and vulgar.

And it looks like it was decorated by Next.

RiverTam · 19/11/2015 16:58

St a guess they have gone for a house that will increase in value the most, so short term pain long term gain. As a Londoner I would be very worried about selling up here, houses here will appreciate much more in less time. So they actually may have made a wise move.

Re bathrooms, I think a lot of that is to do with buy to let - a room with a dedicated bathroom in a shared house will be worth much more than one with a shared bathroom.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 19/11/2015 16:59

Oh well. It's their business and if they wanted to they could get a lodger. They have the space...

chillycurtains · 19/11/2015 17:26

Perhaps he needs to sell a few Apple gadgets rather than your mum compromising her job by selling her car or you supplementing their income. It might not be a problem financially but why should you just because they chose a very large home.

The bottom line is that it's their decision entirely but I suggest you don't supplement it by paying for their food. It won't help them sort the situation.

chillycurtains · 19/11/2015 17:27

The lodger idea is a very good one. Have you suggested it/they considered it?

DixieNormas · 19/11/2015 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomMess · 19/11/2015 17:38

They could rent a couple of rooms out if they would like to stay in the house long term?

AyeAmarok · 19/11/2015 17:54

Stop giving them money for food, the reason they can live beyond their means is because you are paying for essentials why they spend their money on frivolous luxuries!

Namechangenell · 19/11/2015 18:03

This doesn't add up. A house that size in London would cost well over £1M, maybe 2 or more depending on area. If your DM's partner wanted something similar to what he had in London before, then he's talking way way more than £280,000. I have a small 2 bed flat in zone 6 and it was valued at approximately £450,000 recently. 3 bed terraces are on the market for £700,000 minimum up to about £1.5M. And that's zone 6!

So - by my reckoning, either the guy didn't really live in London. Or has a lot more cash than he said he has. There's no way moving costs would have wiped the remainder of his profit.