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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Oh Golly - just had DC3 and hoping this feeling will go away

32 replies

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 17/11/2015 16:19

I just had a beautiful DD 5 days ago. I also have a DS who is 2 and another DD who is 1.

I've been quite together but I think my hormones have gone all over the place today. Before we had our last DD, DH and I were adamant that 3 DCs were enough. They are enough. We have been incredibly lucky to have them all and for them to be healthy

So why have I spent the last 2 hours in fits of tears at the thought of no more babies and the DCs growing up generally. I can't imagine any of them ever leaving home. Even the thought of DS starting school makes me cry.

How do you cope with these feelings? One day my little ones will be teenagers! How can I stop myself from turning into Michelle Duggar?!

My DH is normally the most practical man ever. I spoke to him today and thought he would tell me not to be silly - instead I made him shed a little tear too!

OP posts:

goodnightdarthvader1 · 17/11/2015 16:20

Crying at this time post-birth is totally normal.

IsYourNameMichaelDiamond · 17/11/2015 16:21

You're hormones are going mad and you have three children under 3 - no wonder you're a bit up and down! You can have more children if you and DH want them but it's not a decision for now. Now is time for teeny baby snuggles

IsYourNameMichaelDiamond · 17/11/2015 16:22

Urgh your - damn you autocorrect!

sleepwhenidie · 17/11/2015 16:24

DH and I were planning another baby just days after the birth of each of our 3 - deep in the babymoon stage. Just give yourself til the new arrival starts crawling to think again and you should have got over it . It took me quite a lot longer than that to not be sad at the thought of no more new babies (perhaps still not there 100% and DC3 is 6) but my rational brain is working much better than it was post-birth!

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 17/11/2015 16:24

Gosh hormones, tiredness and just recovering from birth is enough to make you cry over burning toast let alone deep issues! Dont be so hard on yourself

Narp · 17/11/2015 16:25

I cried buckets after both my two, it was definitely not about the thought of not having any more.

One day at a time. There's a lot of years between 3 and teen. And teenagers are lovely

VinylScratch · 17/11/2015 16:26

Congratulations Gobbolino

I get where you're coming from, I used to cry when DD was a baby and I had to put away all the tiny newborn clothes that were outgrown, post natal hormones won't be helping either. Think of all you have to look forward to though, my DD is almost 5 and has started school and it's amazing seeing her grow and learn. It's also great to be able to get out of the house without faffing with buggies and nappy bags.

wallywobbles · 17/11/2015 16:29

It stops after about 2 years IME Now I think thank fuck I'm not pregnant. Mine are 7, 10, 10, 11.

5madthings · 17/11/2015 16:30

Congratulations!

You are five days post birth, this is normal! You will feel more rational again soon enough. But you don't have to make any decisions now!

Fwiw we wanted four, I am now expecting no 6. We chose to have no 5 as we both wanted just one more, no 6 was a but more of a suprise!

Did your birth go Ok? You were worried re induction V c section?

ILiveAtTheBeach · 17/11/2015 16:30

Aw, don't worry! Watching your kids grow up is amazing! My DS is almost 19 now, and he left for Uni in the summer (altho only half hour away, but wanted the full experience of staying in halls). DD is 17 and will be going next summer. This is a lovely time (despite me dreading the leaving home part). We are genuinely best friends. It's like all the good bits of being a parent, but without any of the hard work that there was (nappies/sleepless nights etc), when they were small. Me and DS meet for lunch. Me and DD have girly nights. We all have the same wicked sense of humour and can laugh for hours. The teenage years (early teens) were fine. Not many drama's. If you bring them up right, you'll sail thru it. Honestly, you've got so much to look forward to. It just gets better and better. There were lots of things I dreaded when they were younger - like first day at school. But the thing is, what you don't realise at this point, is that by the time "that day" comes, whether it be Primary school, High School, Uni ....you've done soooo much preparation for it, it is nowhere near as hard as you thought it would be. In fact, I always thought "that was so easy, why on earth was I dreading it?" By the time they leave home, they will be capable adults and you will be fine with it you may even look forward to sophisticated holidays and no responsibility

fusionconfusion · 17/11/2015 16:30

Gobbolino do you know that days4 and 5 are often a time of MAJOR hormone shift?

I bawled my brains out for exactly the same reason at exactly the same time with my little ds3 (now nearly 21 months). I'm over it: loooooooooooooooooooog over it!

They're gorgeous kids but they don't need another sibling!

Congratulations!

Dogsmom · 17/11/2015 16:32

I too felt sad when I had dd2 8 months ago, even leaving the hospital I had a pang when we walked past the scanning dept.
4 months of awful colic soon cured me though so much so I booked dh in for a vasectomy

Focus on all the lovely things you've got to come though, seeing them grow up together, yes the baby stage is awfully short but take plenty of photos and videos.

Original poster

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 17/11/2015 16:32

Oh God - I was like this after DD1 too.

I just worry that I had them all too close together and can't properly enjoy the baby stages - it all goes by in a flash.

DS is nearly 3 and I'm thinking back to 3 years ago when we were waiting for him to be born.....

OP posts:

Narp · 17/11/2015 16:35

Yours are about to go through the lovely bit when they start to talk.

We wrote down all the funny things they said and still have it on the computer. They look at it regularly

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 17/11/2015 16:39

4 days after I had DD, they killed off Madge in Neighbours.

I was inconsolable.

I don't even watch Neighbours

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 17/11/2015 16:44

Congratulations Gobbolino

You have very similar age gaps to me except I'm a few years ahead of you. There are so many pros to having them close together - honestly it's great and just keeps getting better although ask me again when I've got 3 stroppy teenagers

Hope your hormones settle down soon.

zoemaguire · 17/11/2015 16:46

I felt like this a couple of months after DD2 was born, like this was really lovely having a big brood of kids and surely if we could cope with 3, how hard would 4 be? Luckily the feeling only lasted a few days. She is now nearly 2. We all love her to bits, but DH got the snip when she was 9 months old and I am now utterly, utterly, utterly HORRIFIED at the idea of another baby. I am totally done with the baby days, and very happy indeed with the idea!

SouthYarraYobbo · 17/11/2015 16:54

I have an 8 week old and still feel like this

But, l bloody hate the newborn stage so l know l can't do it again (this is dd2)

Fecking hormones. I'm not letting dh near me until l have contraception sorted though

NorthernLurker · 17/11/2015 16:54

When dd3 was about 5 days old dh had to go to London for a meeting. I was fine when he left. When he got back 10 hours later I was quite literally waiting on the other side of the front door so I could fall sobbing in to his arms. Buggered if I can remember why......... Hormones.......

Look you've three under 3 which is a lot to manage but is also going to be the most tremendous fun. All you know at the moment is the baby stage but there's loads of amazing stuff ahead for you. Parenting is a marathon not a sprint. Conserve your energy because you've still got a lot of heart stoppingly excellent stuff to do.

A few months ago I took my oldest on a uni open day. At the station on the way home I had a flash of pure emotion. This was what it was all about - getting her to where she is now. Almost an adult, a capable, bright, beautiful person. How lucky I am to have experienced that. The baby stage is a means to an end. The going to school is a means to an end. The point of it all is to raise new people who will shake the world with their all round awesomeness and they can't do that if they sleep in our rooms for the rest of their lives.

BitOutOfPractice · 17/11/2015 17:01

*"4 days after I had DD, they killed off Madge in Neighbours.

I was inconsolable.

I don't even watch Neighbours"*

Madge is dead?!?

Oh OP I could give you a squeeze right now. This is all perfectly normal and understandable so try not to worry about it.

Very many congratulations on your new baby

Rivercam · 17/11/2015 17:01

I know how you feel. My eldest is a teen and has stopped growing (6 ft tall). I felt a pang as I realised he doesn't actually need any new t-shirts. I always buy a special one ( Ie. expensive/designer) for Christmas and realised he didn't actually need any new ones as last year's still fit and he has plenty of other t shirts also.

I think it's an acknowledgement that a chapter in your life is ending, and it's coming to terms with that. Baby hormones added to the mix doesn't help!

poocatcherchampion · 17/11/2015 17:01

I'm with you op. I've got a 3,2 yo and a 4 week old. I love them sooooo much. My heart breaks

BalloonSlayer · 17/11/2015 17:12

Ahh! It's lovely!

You've got three under three and are crying in case you don't have any more babies because you love them so much.

Such a wonderful thing to cry about . . . bless you all.

< got something in my eye now >

bumbleymummy · 17/11/2015 17:19

Congratulations gobbolino! :)

As others have said, your hormones are all over the place and you've had a very stressful few months with all your home improvements. Let the dust settle, enjoy this baby time and see how you feel in the future. There are lots of lovely years ahead :)

RoseCuntedGlasses · 17/11/2015 17:26

Oh Gobbolino, congratulations (I read your namesake when I was a kid and it always makes me smile to see it.)

Five days post-DD's birth I was wondering whether I needed a passport if I was running away to Brighton. Hormones, lack of sleep and the whole 'whooooaaaa, what the bloody hell just happened'-ness of giving birth is a complete headfuck. And I sympathise with crying about them growing up. I still do that and don't have any of the above to blame!

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