AIBU or are my clothes out to get me?

[Theydontknowweknowtheyknow]

I've had a terrible day clothes-wise. My socks have been falling down into my shoes, my bra straps keep falling off my shoulders despite innumerable readjustments and my knickers seem to be simulteaneously lodging themselves in buttcrack and falling down at the sides.

But worst of all I keep having to hoik my trousers up every 5 minutes despite them being held up by a massive belt.

Is it just me? Do i have a very weird bodyshape that clothes hate or does everyone else's clothes give them as much grief?

Have you lost weight recently?

I have days like that- my socks have been twizzling inside my shoes and I hoik my bra straps so often that sometimes I go to hoik them out of habit and find they're actually in the right place. I do actually prefer my trousers on the falling-down side though, can't bear them tight or round my actual waist.

My latest bugbear though is long (hip length) tops where the hems keep riding up around my waist so my midriff shows.

I've been having one of those days too. I blame pregnancy and running out of clothes that fit due to not doing laundry.

Falling down tights. Last week I had to walk down a. Street actually holding the tops. Last year's and straight in the bin.

Also webs between legs on tights.

I somehow managed to trap my chin in the zip of my coat this morning. I now have a vivid red mark there! Lovely! Plus my bra fitted me perfectly this morning but now myboobs appear to be making a bid for freedom.

That's why I don't wear tights any more. And if by some miracle you do get some that fit round the crotch, you have to pull them right up to just underneath your bosom (and mine's pretty pert thank you, only a c cup even with an intervention, anyone bigger or older than me would probably need to tuck their breasts into their tights!)

Oh my tights today have been driving me crazy. Despite completely taking them off and putting them back on, the seam of the right foot insists on sitting at 90 degrees to where it should.
It's giving me the rage as I type!

You need new knickers.

The only garments I have trouble with are pencil skirts, which twist themselves around as I walk to work. However, I have made the best of it by trying to get the skirt to turn 360 degrees by the time I get there.

Oh sorry for buggering off. I thought I'd been abandoned. Glad to see I'm not the only one.

Today was a bit better as I put on the biggest knickers I could find. Alas my tights were intent on demonstrating that no amount of surreptitious hoiking is a match for gravity.

Lily, I wish I had lost weight but my love of is too great.

I'm the same, specially with the falling down trousers thing. I have one pair that don't fall down and typically have to undo them if I sit down for long

Clothes are always out to get you. Bras particularly.

I teach and discovered to my joy that the reason most of my (adult male) class were so hypnotised by my description of where to use a comma was because my underwiring had broken loose and was making a bid for freedom.

Moonax, well at least faulty clothing has contributed to a more grammatically correct world!

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow - how true Should I stage a repeat performance when the dread day arrives when I have to take them through paragraphs and why they matter?

Tights make me irrationally angry. I was walking along the other day and suddenly wondered why the hell they were Nora Battying round my knees. Obviously the crotch was lurking at mid thigh level.

And jeans. I have two pairs, the right leg of which is totally incapable of sitting in the right way. The outside seam works its way round until it's nearly halfway across my foot. Why? Just, why? They look like they're in the right place when they're laid out flat, so what's with the misbehaving?

As for bras-well I've given up and am now waging a one-woman campaign to make four boobs fashionable. (And yes, I've done the bra intervention and still can't find a comfy one. Clearly my breasts don't fit any bras properly)

Oh and just to give you a laugh- in my innocence I thought I'd try wearing a thong under my gym tights, instead of my usual big knickers.

Well. I had to get out my crochet hook to yank them out of places even DH doesn't get to go. Back to the big pants for me, thankyouverymuch.

My bugbear is tailored narrow leg trousers which are fine when I'm standing up, but the hems rise when I sit down, and stay risen when I stand up, so I have to choose between walking off looking like Captain Zeppos (anyone remember him?) and reaching down to pull them back down to my ankles - try doing that surreptitiously! Grrr.

Are falling-down tights too big or too small?

I'd like my tights to be just as long, or longer, but SMALLER round the top so they hold on.

I'm 5'7 and size 12 so not exactly small for my height.

I know they're supposed to be sexy, but I genuinely find stockings to be more comfortable than tights. (I'm 5'8", so not a giant, but quite a bit taller than most women), and as my user name suggests, I'm not as svelte as you might expect from my slim-line typing!

As a teenager a million years ago, even xxx-l tights weren't long enough (the gusset barely came mid-way up my thighs), and at the time, I weighed 8 stone (How I weep for that now!). So I switched to stockings (hold ups didn't hold up on skinny thighs in the 80s, they might be different now). The key is not to get a skimpy stocking belt (designed to be sexy), you need quite a robust one. It holds the hoisery in place, and you aren't aware of it going through your day. The key thing is the 4 dangle down bits that the stockings clip into. If they are skimpy, they'll spin around your legs. If they're a bit more solid (and I'm talking 0.5 cm thick vs 1 cm thick), they'll hold their place, even if you're walking briskly.

Just be careful about how you cross your legs if you're wearing a skirt and not covered by a table!

And your DH/DP's will EITHER think you're doing it for them and be grateful or think you're having an affair and try harder! (so, win-win!)

And, btw, OP, your clothes definitely hate you!