to think that my husband aunt and uncle should treat my children equally

[chocoholic05]

It was my ds2 birthday last week. On Saturday my ds got a card in the post from my husband's aunty and uncle and a cheque for ten pounds. Now I would ordinarily think that lovely. However it was my ds1 birthday a couple of months ago. A couple of days after his birthday he got a card but no cheque. Now I want to make it clear that I don't think expect anything of them. I know that they are one of numerous great niece and nephews. On my side of the family my own uncle and aunty don't give birthday presents to their great nieces and nephews forthat very reason. And that is absolutely fine. But if you give a present to one sibling on their birthday shouldn't you give a present to the other sibling when it's their birthday? Shouldn't they be treated the same?

My DC have great aunts and uncles and my parents have great nephews and nieces. My mum always asks what my DC got (if anything) from their great aunts and uncles so that she can do the same for their side of the family. Might anything have changed in what your PIL do, causing your DH's aunt and uncle to do the same?

I would not worry about bank accounts, my DCs have various amounts and depending on gifts from family one might get a gift one year while the other might get money. I would explain to my DC that £ does not always equate to favouritism.

I'm an auntie to 9 kids scattered across 3 continents. I don't keep track really well and I know I've been guilty of treating them unequally. I hope they think I'm just eccentric.

Just use the money to buy something they can both enjoy together (a DVD or board game or something) and see if it happens again next year or at Christmas.

It does just seem like an oversight to me though, unless there's a backstory.

You are seriously over thinking this, do your children really check that they have exactly the same amount of money in their savings accounts? .

It's £10 - just get them something to share or give them £5 each and tell them that it was just an oversight on behalf of the great aunt & uncle. I have various great nieces and great nephews and to be honest I don't treat them all the same.

I'm sure this wouldn't be deliberate.

Is there any chance they got mixed up and thought they were sending £10 for a tenth birthday?

I would assume the cheque is meant to be shared and give them a fiver each