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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop helping with journeys?

31 replies

ToastMama · 15/11/2015 18:56

It looks as though my ex husband and his new wife are moving away now that they're expecting their first baby together. They're currently in London (45mins on a good day) from us, and the new location would add an hour easily to that journey. Our DS spends every other weekend with them, and our current arrangement with travel is that my ex collects him on a Friday evening/Saturday morning and I then pick him up on Sunday afternoon.

I already resent spending 2hrs on a Sunday in the car, but do it without a fuss as it's for DS's benefit. The ex and I were living where I currently live now when we went our separate ways, and he chose to return to where he grew up in London, so the current distance was dictated by his desire to move "home".

Would I be unreasonable to ask that he takes on all the travelling once they've moved? I can't find any legal advice online regarding this specific situation, and as with so many other issues between exes, I think it comes down to what works for the individuals and what's best for the child.

Someone please tell me I don't have to do it.... Confused

OP posts:
lunar1 · 15/11/2015 20:58

Bloody hell no, he moved so he needs to figure it out! He much have factored the extra time and cost, any decent parent would.

PurpleGreenAvocado · 15/11/2015 21:03

I would share it because the last thing you presumably want is an overtired father doing a long drive with your DS in the car having already done a long drive?

curiousc88t · 15/11/2015 21:09

Arrange to meet up half way to do the swap over

ToastMama · 15/11/2015 21:09

Purple, he doesn't actually drive, his wife does. So I'm really not sure how any of this will work come the arrival of a small baby! I found it near enough impossible in the early days when I had DS2, and relied on my husband to do the majority of the journeys. So I presume my ex will need to make the journey by train, which will mean that I'd need to drop DS somewhere convenient for them to finish their journey by rail. Fun and games!

OP posts:
lunar1 · 15/11/2015 21:50

Has he actually talked to you about his plans? A dad who doesn't drive and keeps moving further away should have a plan in place before committing to a move.

Helloitsme15 · 15/11/2015 23:16

Can you tell him you will meet him half way? You'll do roughly the same driving as now.

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