to go against what my Dad has said?

[ThisPasadenaHomemaker]

My aunt (DF's sister) has quite suddenly become gravely ill. Family have been warned to prepare for the worst, probably within the next 48 hours. If she does pass away it will be the first of my father's siblings to do so and naturally it will be a difficult time for him (and all her family).

Here's the kicker. They live in Ireland. I'm in England. My Dad has told me not to come home but it feels like the wrong thing to do. I know he's trying to save me any stress (2 DC, college etc - it wouldn't be easy but also not impossible) but I very much feel that I would like to be there for him to offer my support in any way, emotional or simply practical. We're very close.

WIBU to go home even though he's told me not to?

I'd go to your dad if I were you. And I'd take both children -I know my dad would like to have his grandchildren around him.

it's not always so quick though. two days is quick. It can take four, depending on what day of the week.

"massive piss up in the local pub" hmm, or, tea and sandwiches and sherry in a hotel. It depends.

Thanks all.

I want to fly tomorrow, just going to speak to my dad first thing in the morning and hopefully get booked on the late afternoon flight. By taking just DS it means we can stay longer, maybe till the weekend.

My mum is trying to put me off but she can be quite ruthless sometimes so I'm ignoring her for now. Going to get some sleep now.

Oh and I agree MaryZ that we're most likely looking at Tuesday maybe Wednesday for the funeral.
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Sorry to hear that. Definitely ignore the pair of them, they are trying to be brave and reasonable but will be so happy to see you. I was on holiday when my dear step dad died and my dm went to inordinate lengths to stop me abandoning dh and sc's in the west country and rushing home (just a few hours train ride and a couple more hours in the car). Naturally I totally ignored her and was there just a few hours after they'd removed his body - I'll never forget the way she clung to me in relief.

Believe me they want you there!! All the best

you ABSOLUTELY need to do what's right for you. If you'd be upset to not be there at the end, then do what you need to do to make it happen and GO.

If you don't feel you need to do that, then don't go, and don't feel guilty - your dad has given you a "free pass"!

The only deaths I have had the experience with are my great grandmothers. One I went to the funeral for, one I didn't. In a way I wish I didn't go to any of the funerals. It took me a while to get over the fact that the last image I had of her was that her skin was stretched over her face and she looked nothing like herself. Same with MIL's funeral.

I'd go home, saying your goodbyes are more important than paying your respects for the dead.

OH shit. I just read that she died.

Go home for the funeral, and be there for your family. -hug-