To be upset at reading about a family members death on facebook

[ovaryhill]

It was the first I'd heard of it, nobody bothered to tell me
Not only that but the messages on his page read along the lines of 'sorry to hear you have passed Dave'
'I can't believe you have died Dave'
Not his real name obviously, but who do they think they are messaging?
It would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic
Fucking facebook!!

Yanbu to be upset. But how not unreasonable depends on who the relative was an how close.

YANBU, it must have been really upsetting to find out in that way.

YANBU
I am sorry for your loss.
were you close?

Depends. If Dave was someone you haven't seen since 2007 when you happened to bump into him at Great Aunt May's funeral, then it's likely that you were not a high priority when it came to ringing people to let them know. However, if you made the effort to keep in touch and visit each other, that's different.

My sympathies OP.

I've had a similar thing happen, due to a family argument that I had no part of, I found out someone had died on FB. It's pretty sad which ever way you look at it.

Well, you are kind of not unreasonable. But presumably you can't have been that close if nobody bothered to let you know.

My Mum's brother died and I learnt from Facebook. Yes, it was a bit shit, but despite living in the same town they didn't even exchange a Christmas card.No falling out, just not close.

messages on his page read along the lines of 'sorry to hear you have passed Dave'
'I can't believe you have died Dave'

It's a horrible way to find out. I found out about an old friend (sister's ex) in a similar way. My family all knew and had made arrangements to attend the funeral. It wasn't until a school friend messaged me (on Facebook) to ask if I was going that I found out. When I asked them, they had "forgotten I knew him." Very thoughtless. My sympathies OP.

We haven't actually physically seen each other in a long time due to being at opposite ends of the country but kept in touch frequently and had a great laugh, we had one of those teasing each other and slagging each other off kind of relationships
He would frequently have me crying with laughter at his insults,
That may sound strange to some but it was it was done with affection on both our parts

Sympathies op could it be that the people who let everyone know he passed just didn't know that you were close, as you physically were not always there. They might not have known you kept in touch in other ways.

Did anyone else know you were in touch?

I speak to cousins on Facebook but I bet if you asked my mum (not on Facebook) she would say I have spoke to them in years.

Yanbu to be sad. But I imagine at this time they haven't thought of everyone. They have probably told people they think need to and hope it filters down.

That may be the case, keeponmoving, it was just such a shock, I couldn't believe what I was reading