is she accusing me of theft?

[loopsylala]

had to NC for obvious reasons

So I've changed offices due to a change in position (higher paid position). In last job I had a number of (unpaid) responsibilities which have now been passed to other people still in that team.

last week I got an email from a member of the old team who I've never liked. I've always found her patronising, treating me like I'm stupid, but I've never stood up to her because I didn't want to get myself into trouble or know what to say in response. The majority of the team like her so I would have been on my own if I stood up to her. I was glad to leave but I will still come into contact with her ocassionally

anyway, in her email she states, (and I have summarised it so as not to identify me) with parts underlined and in bold - "xyz item has gone missing. have you taken it home. I am the person who is now in charge of abc so I will have to report this to (senior manager person)"

the responsibility is something she does not get any extra pay for and takes about 2 mins each week to do, yet her email makes it sound as though she's been promoted and is oh so important.

Also, she appears to be implying I have stolen the item which I have never once seen. I haven't and wouldn't take anything!

And there's what I think is a threat at the end!

I have replied saying I don't have it and sorry I can't help but now I think I should have said something else, but I'm not good at effective responses, especially those that won't get me into any trouble.

Should I leave it at the response I gave? My previous manager, which we shared, was a bit crap at dealing with her and the union rep is her friend.

ps, I agree with the others. She asked if you had it, you said no. Don't get drawn in to a he said she said court case style drama where the onus is on you to prove you didn't take whatever item she can't find.

If she bothers you again, flip it back 'have you not found it yet? oh dear! well, people lose things, it happens, don't berate yourself''.

I think your response was fine. I wouldn't cc your manager or send any further response for now. If she e-mails you again about this, just respond back with your previous e-mail attached, stating that you have already advised that you can't assist and wish her luck in locating whatever it is, and possibly cc your manager at that stage.

Without outing yourself, can you give an idea of the cost / importance of the item(s)? Is it the menu choice sheet for the Christmas dinner, or the likes of a laptop?

I am a relatively senior manager in the public sector and I inwardly sigh when I am copied in to stuff like this when I don't need to be. If I need to know about it, I expect someone to come and speak to me about it.

Congrats on your promotion. Sounds like her nose is seriously out of joint. I've known plenty of these over the years - best policy is to ignore as they usually have vastly over-inflated opinions of themselves.

I had this when I left my job for a promotion elsewhere. I received a phone call from the Trustees asking if I had taken a file with me. This would certainly not have benefited me in any way whatsoever.

Whilst annoyed at the implication, I remained polite and informed him that when I had left, all files were in place in a locked cabinet and that he may be better asking the remaining staff member if she could remember where she had moved it to. I told him that when things like this happen, the answer lies much closer to home and I was unable to assist him further. This left him somewhat flustered and he left it at that.

Beryl it is an expensive piece of equipment that in all honesty I don't believe would ever be given to someone in that 'position' or indeed any position within the organisation from top down so I was a bit WTF about the implication I stole something I would never have been given in the first place but apparently I was meant to have been

Who was meant to have given this expensive bit of equipment and when?

Is someone setting you up here?

Could you reply along the lines that you've been thinking about where it might be, say where you last saw it/that you've never seen it and that maybe senior person could help and copy in senior person (who probably knows where it is anyway). What size is it, might it just be underneath or behind something else?

I think you need to cover your own back with senior management person, whilst not alerting Ms QBee that you are riled.

These petty things can escalate - I once bought myself a new pen at WHSmiths, then one of my colleagues made a hoo-haa about his pen disappearing and I had taken it - luckily I still had the receipt. Funny enough his short apology was far quieter than his accusations! Later he went running to the boss that I was out on a time sheet, he said i had rounded up to the nearest 5 minutes instead of rounding down - I spent my work time working not looking over people's shoulders but in most places there's one of these type of bastards.

I guess QBee has been waiting to pin something on you for ages, you need to nip this shit in the bud.

I really don't think she needs to worry about covering her back.

If Queen B goes to the senior manager you say the same thing: 'No, I don't have it; in fact I've never seen it.' Repeat as necessary.

Having read your OP and thread, I cannot see that anything is implied in the email on the face of it and reading things into it based on your feelings/experience of this person certainly doesn't help you. You've replied, leave it at that. If anyone else asks you anything about it, you can honestly answer that you have never seen it.

Im with the others here OP.

Don't put any more fuel on her fire.

But I would actually send a copy of both emails to you head of dept asking her advice due to this nasty piece of work actually more or less accusing you of stealing.

Don't go back to her again. As another poster said, if this thing is missing, is that your problem? don't seem too involved...... if you lost something would she email you regularly to see if you'd found it or not?

Today I got told by new manager that the colleague has made a complaint about me! and NO, its NOT about the thing I allegedly 'stole', its about something completely different.

She alleges that I behaved in an unprofessional manner by b*tching about my old team and damaging the reputation of the staff who work in that team.

I had a conversation with a colleague (who doesn't work for either my team or my old team, but knows my old team if that makes sense). Where I was asked about my new role and how I found it. I said I was enjoying it and my team were much nicer.

Maybe I shouldn't have said that (although it is true). I didn't say anything else and I wasn't really being negative. It was a short statement "yes I'm really enjoying it, its very different from before, and everyone's much nicer"

Now suddenly I am being accused of unprofessionalism etc. I am alleged to have said much worse than what I actually did say.

I do not know why this ex colleague has it in for me.

I've told my new manager that she is being untruthful, I told her about the other email, I've questioned her motivation for doing this. My new manager told me not to worry and that she would sort it out.

But I'm upset and angry.

Am I in the wrong?

You know you aren't in the wrong. You shouldn't even be asking that question. Grow some ladyballs and stick to your guns and stop this woman fucking you over.

I know someone in my work who's underhanded and sly and whilst I hope she doesn't do what your office person has done you can't take this stuff laying down.

No, I don't think you are in the wrong. Would you like some help removing that knife from your back?

On the face of it it does seem like the ex co worker has some kind of axe to grind. These kind of things are very tricky.

Not quite the same but I had a similar experience when talking to someone about the person who'd replaced them in their job.

Ex person asked me how new person was getting on and I said something along the lines that she was getting to grips with the new role. The next thing I knew was that ex person had told her old boss that I said that new person coudn't do the job

Luckily the boss accepted my explanation but it could have made things very difficult for me with the new person who was actually better at the job than the old person.

I hope you have a similar outcome, it's not pleasant at all. I now make no comments.

What I'm struggling with is how to STOP her. I think both team managers will just dismiss it as a misunderstanding or somethng, and she doesn't get pulled up for her behaviour.

My manager did tell me not to take it higher because it would distract me from my job and make things worse...!

She's obviously jealous you've moved on to bigger and better things and wants to spoil the success/clean start in the new role. She sounds about 12 but I'm imagining someone older who's been in the company a very long time and resents being in the same team when everyone else is moving onwards and upwards?

She's probably about 45ish

Lots of people have left that team recently. There's probably about 4 left who have been there more than 5 years, including her. No one complains about her so I don't know if anyone else has this issue.

I've been the bigger person for so long and she wont leave me be. The union guy is her friend, her manager is scared of her.

I just have to keep on not reacting and hoping, likely in vain, she won't try anything else.

I'm sick of people like this.
I have one in my department, the untouchable one. He can behave how he wants and never gets pulled up on it. Including acting aggressively and damaging property.

However if I were to confront him I would be considered the unreasonable one.

Bit of a thread-derail but a woman down the road once accused me of stealing her sofa! It hadn't been delivered when it was supposed to be and when questioned the delivery company claimed it had been left at her address and signed for by yours truly ( No-one explained why I was supposed to be lurking in her porch on the off chance of hi-jacking passing soft furnishings ) She never actually came right out and said the words but she obviously thought there was dirty work afoot ... It was really embarrassing as her son was mates with mine and we kept bumping into each other at school and she kept giving me dubious looks

her email definitely implies you stole/took something.

Your reply is adequate and professional.

Leave it there!

Out of interest, is it a large organisation you work for?

She is upping the ante, and is bullying you.

Much as it would be lovely to bite your tongue and say nothing, I would be inclined to e-mail something to your manager.

Refer to the alleged complaint that X has made against you. You would like to put on record that the comment you made was 'Yes, I'm enjoying the role, the team are much nicer' in response to a question posed by a colleague during a private conversation. You could observe that X's subsequent 'complaint' has ironically proved that this is indeed the case, and you would also like to put on record that you received an e-mail implying you had stolen an item of property, although you are unsure if she has contacted every other member of your former team in similar terms as part of her investigation into the missing item.

I would finish by stating that you have done your best to ignore her petty behaviour for some time, however if she is determined to continue in the same vein you will have no option but to invoke the bullying & harassment policy and make a formal complaint about her.

I would finish by asking your manager if they could update you in due course as to action taken on foot of your e-mail.

Thank you. That's really helpful. Yes it's a large public sector organisation.

Great advice Beryl.