My best friend is getting married the year after next. It'll be an international thing and will be a hundred or so folk in attendance.
We've been friends for 28 years. She now lives and works abroad but we've maintained a very close relationship. We have each other's backs.
It didn't come as a huge surprise when she asked me to be a part of the wedding. She was my "best man" at my wedding. There were no other bridesmaids or any of the other traditions; we didn't have a photographer and just had a friend take candid snaps. This was because of how uncomfortable I am when getting my picture taken.
I loathe it. I hate the forced merriment and the time it takes. I'm also not the most photogenic (not a monster but definitely better in person than in a photo) as I have a misaligned jaw meaning that I can't smile with my teeth without looking like a creep or looking like I'm in excruciating pain. As such, my go-to pose is mouth closed, wry smile. I am forever told to "smile" but that's the best I can do. It's not something i usually concern myself with-it is what it is-but forced photos send me diving for the back row (or offering to take the picture).
I know it's my insecurity but it's made all the more acute knowing who the other bridesmaid will be; 6ft tall model friend. Like I said, I'm on the wrong side of quirky looking and I feel woefully inadequate/fat/ugly when next to the size 6 model at the best of times. I don't need it immortalised in print.
I'm more than happy to help with organising and can take control of hen night, should she want me to, but do I have to be bridesmaid? Ive already done a jokey "please don't feel obligated" text but she's obviously taken it as a joke- Who wouldn't want to be in a wedding? She knows it's my idea of hell but she couldn't not offer and I can't not accept. I know we'd both be happier with me not doing it but she can't rescind the invite and I can't reject it without looking like a total cow.
Do I just need to suck it up or is there a way to get out of this with friendship still in tact? If it's the choice between doing it and ending the friendship then I'd just get on with it.