In-laws have taken to saying either "I want to come over and see the kids" or so-and-so "wants to come to your house and see the kids". AIBU to say that it would be a bit more polite to pretend that people occasionally wanted to see me (the children's mother) or do I have suck it up & accept that now I have reproduced I am secondary to the children. For background get on v well with some of the in-laws saying this & not so well with others.