To tell Dd's dad to do one?

[Anybodyout123]

Dd (1) dad is a pain in the arse, he have split and so far he just make constant demands on what contact he wants, he demands certain days times etc and I alway agree then at the last minute he will change them or leave 4 hours early ect!

So this week he has been a total arse, sends constant stream of texts, emails, call etc basically he is not happy because I wouldn't give him my house this weekend so he could spend the night with dd, basically his latest is he things every other weekend me and my older dc should vacate the house so he can have a weekend with his daughter (he us unable to have her where he is living!

So today he diesnt turn up even though last night I got a drunken misspelled text saying he would be here in the morning, so after not arriving this morning 2 hours later u get a text to say he isn't coming as he has flu (ok I know he is hanging he has drink problems but didn't say anything) then at 5pm tonight I get a text saying he will come over tomorrow!

Firstly tomorrow is my day with my children and myself nor them want him parking his arse in my lounge all day

So I texted back saying as he has flu think he should leave it until next week as I don't want kids catching it and I can't afford to take time off work, he texts back saying that he now feels better and WILL BE OVER TO SEE HIS DAUGHTER TOMORROW

now would I be unreasonable to tell him no and make sure I'm out?

I have tried my hardest to be flexible but he is getting unbearable, he us not in her birth cert (his choice missed two appointments) and is now demanding I out her on it,

If he's not on the birth certificate he has no rights to contact...Ignore him. If je gets threatening log it with 101 as harassment.

Yes OP, consider him a minor irritant like a fly and just swat him away with ' I am happy to let the courts decide this' ...meanwhile just to be extra annoying open a case with the csa or whatever they are called now (you probably won't get anything because he sounds like the slippery type who will either be 'self employed ' or chuck his job in once they find him) but it will be extremely irritating and the court would expect you to pursue payment on your children's behalf...

I am normally the last person to deny a man contact with his children, we have had over a decade of my step children being used as missiles by their DM in her hatred of her ex , my dh. The difference here though is huge. My dh has never ever once, come sickness/car problems/other emergency...ever missed a contact weekend and mid week meal in over ten years...except when they have been withheld by their mother. Neither has he failed to pay very generous maintenance on top of school,trips, uniform and extra curricular activities.. He is a father, he knows that with parental rights come responsibilities..something your ex clearly hasn't a clue about and as such needs to start putting in the work before he can hope to get his 'rights'

op

Can I urge you to make a phone call to some where like the children's legal centre, it's a free children's law helpline and will come up if you google 'children's legal centre'

It will be adventatious to you to get correct but free legal advice.

He can force you to add him to the birth certificate because he can obtain either a declaration of parentage or a court order forcing it to happen, and he can obtain PR as well.

It really is untrue that he can't make that happen.

It will be very simple for him to apply to the court all he has to do is tick a box on the form saying he's asking permision (due to the current lack of PR) and he would almost certainly be granted permision to file any application.

Sorry Cornwalldoula but you're wrong. Just because his name isn't on the BC doesn't mean he has no rights. If OP knows he is the father then he is able to make applications to the Court, including a Declaration of Parentage and for the BC to be amended, as a PP mentioned.

Keep an accurate diary OP. Evidence of his threats and failures will be helpful.