To really judge my inlaw

[MissJudged]

I want honest opinions on this as we don't have the best relationship so I could be being massively judgemental about something that's none if my business but inlaw has been massively namedropping a friend of Theirs. The friend is married, they have been seeing a lot of each other recently.
Basically they are having an affair now and inlaw wants him to leave his partner. 'friend' claims they are unhappy and the partner doesn't love them (dont they all).
Honestly every mention of the 'friend' makes my stomach turn and My opinion of inlaw has never been great but its now worse than ever- how can they think this is ok?! The rest of the family are apparently ok with it - me and DH are at everyone's morals on this.
Its grim isnt it? This can't just be me thinking it- it is actually grim.

You'll find that you get loads of "mind your own business" type posts, OP.

You'll also get loads of "she's single, he isn't/it's him having the affair" type ones - whereas if it were the SIL posting she'd get lynched. It's typical of MN - any excuse to bash the OP

You can't say this is none of OP's business, because the SiL is clearly making it her business by telling her all about it. I think I would be telling her she's an idiot, because if he can cheat on his wife he will certainly cheat on her.

And yes, I think you can judge a single woman for going out with a married man. She knows he's made promises to another woman, she knows he's breaking those promises and deceiving that other woman, and she's colluding in it and indeed encouraging it. There is nothing about that situation which leaves the OW on the moral high ground.

I feel guilty by association ATM, even though I completely disagree with whats happening as does dh.

Then make it clear you are TOTALLY not onside, find it repugnant.

I'd also be making my views tacitly clear to outsiders should the subject come up. You don't have to be associated with this shit just bcs you're married to her brother.

I couldn't ignore. I would need to feel that if confronted by the wife I could hold my head up high and honestly say I had never condoned it and had told my SIL so. My personality is such that I would take the piss out of SIL every time she mentioned him. "ha ha his wife doesn't understand him, so totally believable" "uh oh, lock up your husbands SIL is here"

Don't feel guilty. The ones who should feel guilt are the ones who look away or figure 'none of my business' and keep quiet.

People have forgotten the power of public condemnation. Used to be an adulterer/ess would have been shunned by their friends and excluded from their social circle and sometimes the community at large. Probably made more than a few would-be philanderers think twice.