Dsis and "compromise"

[FuckingCompromise]

Every time I do something with my sister, she has very clear views on what she wants us to do - sometimes it's like fighting an uphill battle. Most of the time, such as when we go on hol, it's ok because I want to do similar things. But it still grates because she just doesn't have any consideration (it seems) for my wants and likes.

Her big key word is "let's compromise" which translates to "how about you give in and we do what I want to do". So frustrating!

Eg last weekend we went to the cinema and a restaurant of her choice. Due to go out again tonight, she wants her (new) place or nothing. I want to go to one of two other places, both of which she has expressed an interest in the past. But she's just not prepared to discuss it. You've guessed it, she wants to fucking "compromise" and have it her way.

Who. Is. Being. Unreasonable.

I think you just need to go ahead and not change plans to suit her. She's only getting away with it because you back down. Next time just say you will see her another time as you will still be going.

Make plans ahead of time, say no if you don't like them. Tell her why. She'll get the picture soon enough.

Just stop going out with her

I'm sure she'll get the message.

Thank you.

The thing is we'd be going out as a two anyway so it wouldn't be hugely fun for me to do it on my own. Second thing is that we never have concrete plans days before we do something, just play it by ear or have a rough plan.

But it frustrates me that she can't see that she always gets the best deal. Wish she had a bit more awareness that she isn't the only one

You need to start saying 'I compromised the last umpteen times, this time it is your turn to compromise. You do realise that compromise works both ways, and it should be code for you always getting your way!!'

Be firm.

Yes! Take turns!! Elect 'sister in charge' and take bloody turns. No compromise if it's your turn to decide everything.

Lol zzzzzzz it's certainly not her night out. If we're going down that route then I'd like to be the first to say she is almost always invited to my nights out with friends, the favour is never reciprocated though

Thanks stdg good advice. She's intelligent but actually does appear to think that a compromise means her getting her own way. Even the word makes me break out into hives, argh FUCKING COMPROMISE

I would just say something like "we compromised last time and did what you wanted, now it's your turn to compromise for me".

Yes give her recent concrete examples of your compromises and say this time let's go with what I want.

I have a sister like that, she treats me like a kid and will manipulate my family into doing what is best for her. Until recently I have always backed down, as to not would normally result in an argument. But she just takes the p, we are currently estranged and I don't miss being told what to do!!!!!! Until she sees me as an adult with valid considerations, we will remain estranged but with the lies she is peddling around I can not see resolution soon. You need to work out if the compromises you want are worth fighting for and achievable. Good luck

How old are you both? Stop going on holiday together. It is OK not to when you are adults. Maybe no-one sent her the memo that you are grownups?

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Greater so as we did what you wanted to last time we will do what I want to this time. Next time your choice