What do I do ?

[woollyandtig]

Long long back story but basically it's my birthday today dp has abandoned me to go to pub with his friend (lied about it of course) this is less than week after me finding out about his 3 year affair. He has never put me first and never will. He is horrible to me constantly putting me down , shouting and isolating me from everyone.

I need to get away from him, I can't live in this flat any longer ge won't leave and his best friend is the landlord . What are my options I have no money available for rent/ deposit on somewhere else, I have no friends , and no contact with any my family .
I have 2 kids and expecting dc 3 in a few months. If it was just me I would be out this place in a shot but I need somewhere for the kids. I have tried searching google etc for local help but not having much luck , as far as I can tell local council would consider me to have made myself intentionally homeless and have no obligation to help, is this correct ?
Sorry if this seems dense I just can't find a solution. I feel completely trapped , I have no one to talk too about this , no birthday wishes today , not one card or gift (not that it matters) but this is how much I mean to anyone. (My beautiful dd did make me a paper airplane which is perfect she is amazing ).

Sorry if this seems like sympathy seeking thread it really isn't intened as such I really just need help to leave.

Not really maddening my parents are probably on par with him in terms of emotional abuse . My sister who I am still in contact with live 500 miles away unfortunately .

Happy Birthday!

And here is to many more without the waste of space dh cramping your style.

Happy birthday my dear! I hope you get out of this crap situation, good luck!

Thank you everyone for kind wishes , I feel better than I have in ages.
I have emailed womans aid and hopefully will be able to speak to someone tommorow.
I know until Monday at earliest I will be stuck here its going to be a fun weekend . Weather is horrendous so not even able to take kids out for long tommorow.
I'm in bed dreading hearing his keys in.the lock , I feel so worthless today . I tried to put on brave face for the kids but the moment they where in bed I broke down . I feel so down I have cried all week , not slept properly in days and am having to force myself to eat. I just want this feeling to go away.

Midwives and SS will be able to help, i should think there is temp foster care available for DC when you have baby. Dont be embaresed in asking or receiving help.

Happy birthday x I'm sorry to read you are in this situation. I would also recommend contacting women's aid. You can have a happier life than this. Seek help.

I see you have contacted them, sorry. Thinking of you x

I know temp foster care would be an option but I'm terrified of that prospect , eldest dc wouldn't cope at all with it and youngest wouldn't know what to do without me. Neither have ever spent as much a night away from me. In fact youngest has been with me 24/7 since she was born. How could I lie in hospital knowing they will be breaking there hearts with some stranger.
This is why I feel I have to stay with him until atleast after baby arrives but I can't live this way

No you dont. It will be a few hours or a couple of days. They can visit. Time flies for kids. Give them and you some credit.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding it will be csection so a few days more than likely and I know it's simple thing for most people but they are going to going through so much I can't put them through that too. I was sexually abused as a child and no doubt have trust issues when it comes to my children but I wouldn't be able to relax at all . But I no I have very little in way of options.

Oh woolly. You can and will get through this.

wooly, you are being fantastically brave and are doing the right thing for both you and your DC. Children are incredibly resilient and I think being away from you for a couple of days wpuld be far harder on you than them, I promise. They will be able to visit you, and you never know you might be out very quickly, my hospital aims to discharge from a cs in 24 hrs max if it's straightforward and there are no compilations.
I hope women's aid get in touch with you today and can start helping you to plan leaving, and definitely tell your MW what's happening as they have real leverage with the council and SS to get you help with housing etc.
You can do this wooly, it will be hard but you can. Your DC will be nothing but proud of you when they are old enough to understand the decision you made for you all.
Will be thinking of you over the weekend. If he starts just keep telling yourself it will soon be over

I wonder if you are sweating the small stuff to avoid the bigger picture? Short term issues, buy long term happiness. Yes they maybe upset, sounds like as hes kept you away from People so the kids arent used to others. You are all they have ever known compounding the worries you have.
Most people are lovely, you can meet the foster carers prior to the baby. Share your worries.

Hope you got some sleep Wooly.

Happy birthday for yesterday - next year's birthday will be far better...! :)

Stay strong, you will all get through this.

Just wanted to add that you are incredibly brave and I do do hope you get the advice and support you need. Stay strong. Don't let this nan manipulate you more than he had already. You are a good mother and you can do this. Good luck

Happy birthday

I hope women's aid are able to help you

Definitely have your thread moved to Relationships board; there are so many women there who have been through the same

You could contact SPAN or Gingerbread to meet other zingle parwnts and get some help. I hope someone else can do some links for you

Can you ask any of the parents of your dcs friends for help with child care, whilst you are in labour. I know i would be happy for a relative stranger to ask me to help in thiz way/circumstance. How pregnant arw you? Iz there time enough for someone to build familiarity with your dc for this purpose?

I fostered some children while their mother had a c section. I promise you they will be loved and well cared for if that's what you need to do.