To ask neighbour to turn their bass down now (5pm)

[NameRanger]

We have newish neighbours and they keep playing loud music. It's the bass that really irritates me.

It's only 5pm. Would IBU to ask them to lower the bass now? Or would you wait until it was later - if you would wait, what time would you ask them to turn it down?

We have 3 kids under 8 so I know they can probably here us but we do make sure the kids don't scream/shriek and they're not allowed to make noise too early.

TIA

Should also add that both the kid bedrooms attach to them and they've been playing their music til gone midnight sometimes.

In my experience, asking people to turn music down ends in a bun fight.

That's what I'm worried about

But I can't keep having my DC's being kept up by it. Our bedroom is the other side (so attached to my other neighbour, not noisy one) and we can hear the bass from there.

im in the same boat only the boom boom boom is right next to my living room , i found myself tapping my foot on the floor in time with the beat without realizing it, but its all off by 7.
i wouldnt say anything now but if it aint turn down by the time your dc go to bed id go round and asked them nicely.

If you're objecting to just the bass and not the music itself, it's probably worth going round and doing the smiley apologetic thing - they might have a heart. They may not realise how sound carries if they're fairly new - it does vary from house to house. This approach didn't work with our bastards next door, but most people are reasonable.

Has anybody ever had a friendly, helpful response when asking neighbours to turn music down, or ask their kids to not play drums in the garage for hours and hours every weekend day?
Whenever we have asked people to turn things down - not off, just down - they have always gone ape shit.

Kid across the road from us used to have music with the bass really loud. One party I went across the road and asked him to drop the bass. Told him I didn't want to hear his music any more than he wanted to hear Motorhead or any sort of Wagnerian opera. It worked, and we didn't have any more bother

I think if you asked nicely rather than passive aggresively as so many people seem to in these stories then you'll be fine.

I was just about to go round, then all the music stopped.

No more music this weekend either (probably jinxed it now!).

I'm sorry for all of you that haven't been able to get the issue resolved.

In answer to "has anybody ever had a friendly, helpful response?" Yes - when I eventually plucked up courage to ask the seven foot tall wall of muscle in the next tent to turn down his music (on a campsite in Northumberland) he was very polite indeed and turned it right off. I have never been so surprised (and relieved) in my entire life. (There have been other times that have not ended so well ...)

Hope you get the chance to have a chat with them at some point NameRanger Noise nuisance is the pits.

We had the exact same issue with our downstairs neighbours. I had lived with it for a few weeks with the bass vibrating through every room in our flat but the volume was gradually creeping up.

I went down and asked humbly (it's not a big deal but blah blah blah); turns out they had no idea we could hear it at all and were mortified that they'd been bothering us. Music instantly turned down and not been an issue since.
Please tell them. It's possible that they just don't know how loud the music is/how easily it travels. it'a worth a shot.

The trouble is, you have no idea what sort of person you are dealing with so no idea how to go in for the first attempt.

• a nice person who would appreciate finding out they're annoying their neighbours so they can do something about it?
• someone who won't believe it's a problem till they have been asked 5 times, so better ask the first time nice and early so that you can get around to the 5th before you're carried off screaming?
• someone who will grudgingly turn their music off occasionally when they know they're taking the piss but you have to establish yourself as someone reasonably "cool" to have any credibility so not ask too often?

My sympathies

Half the problem with noisy neighbours is the anguished overthinking

I have no idea.

Good luck.

When our old neighbours moved out, I prewarned the new neighbours that we could hear a knat farting in their living room via the medium of a knock on the door, brandishing a bottle of wine.
They were lovely about it, and were already in the process of sorting out sound insulation, as they were aware that there was none. They have since gone on to have a DC, and we can barely hear it. Compared with being able to hear the previous neighbours cough, fart, shout and put the kettle on, this is bliss!
We didn't have the chance to get off on the right foot with the old neighbours, as they had been there for years before we moved in. But I would definitely say it would be worth your while in the nicest possible way, popping over, welcoming them to the community, and giving them some hints and tips about how things work where they have moved to.

At least if you are met with a less than friendly reception, you know what you are dealing with, and it's time to get the noise recording diary out.

Not music or neighbour related but I have on several occasions asked people to stop talking in the cinema and so far have only had a friendly, apologetic response. I find that if you are polite and friendly in your request then people will generally be obliging. I think lots of people are thoughtless about these things but the majority aren't total arseholes who want to cause others stress.

But cunty, the cinema is completely different. you aren't up against the territorial "I'll do what I like in my own home" thing which can cause intransigent craziness, no matter how polite you are.

I have been a couple of times to a camp site where the guidelines hint that loud music isn't really ok. Last time, we camped next to a family who played Dark Side of the Moon (or was it Wish You Were Here?) really loudly for whole days and evenings on end. The campsite policy didn't allow us to say "no music!" but being constantly battered by the neighbours' Pink Floyd was definitely not in the spirit of the law. however, they were the types that just didn't give a shit about anyone else till someone in a uniform came round and explained it to them in "or, you may leave" terms.

I won't go there again and I won't camp anywhere again where there aren't clear actual fascist rules that stop people's bass thudding into your tent. Because some people are shits. Not all of them, or even most. But enough that in certain kinds of dwelling you are only a few metres away from a dickhead.

I wish we had rules like that to protect us at home.

So would you suggest nobody ever approach's anybody on the chance that they won't get the response they want?

Many years ago a neighbour made a remark to DH about some noise we has made whilst decorating our house (never in the evening or early mornings) turned out that his father had moved in with him and was dying and the noise had bothered him. The neighbour had never mentioned a word to us about it and if he had we would have ceased straight away. I was actually quite cross he had assumed we were deliberately inconsiderate and unreasonable.

So my point being it is always worth having a polite, friendly conversation first whether it's at the cinema or at home.