to think that on a work trip, evening events should not be mandatory?

[AFewGoodWomen]

I am on a week long business trip in Paris. Breakfast meetings at the hotel, networking breakfasts, full day long meetings in a huge drafty meeting room. Then in the evening, 'team building dinners'.

AIBU to think that's too much? That I have attended a walking tour of the Marais district, a dinner in a museum and a buffet at the hotel. Last night there was another dinner thing which I skipped. My boss is pissed off.

AIBU to think that being on a business trip does not mean every waking moment has to be in the service of business?

There should be a balance.

If a standard work day is 10 hours, then that should be the same for a trip. You need some down time. After a normal day's work you go home and chill, not to a work 'team building event'.

But I guess you are compensated for it accordingly?

Oh god, well I am in the minority OP. I'm afraid working from 8am- midnight everyday for a week is ridiculous and unless I was A) On a massive salary or B) Genuinely passionate about/interested in the industry...I would not be working 17 hour days. Honestly, where is the need for it?!

Unless something is absolutely necessary then I don't go. I enjoy socialising don't get me wrong and love a glass of wine or 2 but most companies are all about take, take, take with little back and if your company was one of those...then no, unless my company was imperative I wouldn't be working 17 hour days. Madness.

Usually you'd know if it was mandatory and also how you'd be compensated ie time off in lieu; overtime payments, etc. It's also only polite to let your boss know you're not going to show.

I don't understand your problem tbh. It's part of your job.

I sympathise, but the standard attitude seems to be that they 'own' your time when you are away for business.

I travel a lot for work, and get given projects to work on in the evenings, because apparently watching films and eating room service isn't considered a proper way to pass the time

Ugh I remember the first thing like this I ever had. I wasn't expecting it as I wasn't actually travelling, but all our European teams flew into London (where we already were) and the schedule was 7.45 am till after midnight for a week. I wasn't told in advance what was going to happen and it knocked me for 6 that all my time was given over to work for that week (the working hours, + commute for us in the local office; though I'd rather have had the commute than the shitty fleapit hotel they put the Europeans in).

I had no idea I wouldn't have time to buy and post my mum's birthday card in a WHOLE WEEK. One morning (the day before her birthday) in YET ANOTHER MEANINGLESS MEETING I just snapped, got up and sort of flapped meaningfully at my boss hoping that she would read me as saying "Must go and do something urgent", and just walked out of the building and into town. I spent half an hour buying, wrapping, and posting something to send to my mum and the fresh air and exercise (which I hadn't had all week) brought on a massive digestive crisis and I had to hurry back to the office building, where I blocked a toilet with several day's worth of terrible food. It was very satisfying

I am paid bugger all, all our international travel is to be done in our own time and, even for internal clients (visiting another office etc), it is insisted that you socialise with your coworkers even if nobody from the host office will be attending

Also, if you are due to be in the office abroad for about 11 heaven forbid you should get to that country the night before - you have to drag your sorry arse out of bed at bastard-o'clock in the morning/night before to catch the earliest flight then put in a full day's work.

From my next "jolly" I shall be getting home to my own bed at about 2am and fully expected to be in the office and chirpy for 8am.

I would really hate this. Luckily, my business travel has not required this; I sometimes go to dinner at night with others, sometimes not. But it's often normal to start meetings at 8 am, and in the US, that would mean 8 am.

I agree that sadly, it's the nature of business that the people 'in charge' tend to be extroverts show offs who love company, talking non-stop about themselves and don't ever want to spend any time alone. For the rest of us it's awful but they love it. Until the world of business is run by introverts it will always be like this because people = opportunities (of all kinds).

I used to sneak off with a 'headache' or 'to make a call' ...

Even the business class travel is ruined by the inane whitterings of said business types.

I travelled to a European city for a meeting when I was fairly new in my current job - it was before the recession hit and in my industry they were still flying people here, there and everywhere for ridiculous meetings that would be handled in a 2 hour teleconference nowadays. I had to leave home around 3.30am to get to the airport, fly over, then sit through a long day of pointless meetings.

That evening the organiser had arranged a dinner and I, being absolutely shattered, had a quiet word with him and explained that I was feeling a little unwell (white lie) and I would just be going back to my hotel (note that this would not be frowned upon by my boss who I suspect would have done similar!). He wasn't that happy about it and tried to insist I came, but I thanked him again and said that I'd prefer not to. I had just arrived back in my hotel room when my hotel phone rang - it was him - he was in reception with the rest of the attendees and said that they wouldn't leave until I joined them! I had to go down - what a bully!

I've never had anything like that since - if it's a week long trip I typically might go to the "main" dinner but skip or leave early from the drinks reception type things where it would be less noticeable. I tend to travel alone though and would be dealing with peers rather than clients or bosses so it's no big deal. I can't manage a whole week of being "on" for 18 hours a day as I'm a bit of an introvert and I find it exhausting.

Luckily I was 6 months pregnant during our last business trip. Eating at 9.30pm was NOT cutting it and I was the only one not drinking. I joined in for the first night, but used the pregnancy card for the rest. Told them I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning if I wasn't in bed by 9pm. Went and had dinner on my own while they all stood in the bar drinking til who knows when.

Don't know what I would have done had I not been pregnant - I still wouldn't have wanted to eat that late and stay up drinking!

I've just got back from a long stint of back to back travel.

I agree it can be tiresome and there are nights where I'd rather be on my own - I find the all day back to back with everyone wanting a piece of you from 7am to midnight exhausting.

BUT I earn a lot and it's part of the deal when it comes to corporate life. You suck it up if you want to progress

pissing myself at TOIL to deal with it

I'd agree with you Project if I wasn't earning £19k with little chance of career progression. The only reason I'm dealing with it with only the odd grumble is so that I can do my time at the company and try to move on