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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed about a beggar....

67 replies

wellthatstornit · 12/11/2015 10:43

with an iphone, a very expensive pedigree dog on a rope and who can get buses to his pitch in the town centre?

He is in town on a daily basis playing an old tin whistle (badly) with a HUGE dogue de bordeaux type hound. And is often on his iphone chatting away to people between 'tunes'

He is supposed to be homeless, yet in a facebook group about my home town, he is very popular and mentioned quite a lot. he tells people that he sleeps on mates couches/spare rooms etc

He posts in this group quite a lot, and once he posted about his dog being poorly, and within an hour someone had been down, whisked his dog to the vets and agreed to pay all the vets bills for it till it was well again.

Am I just being mardy and insensitive that he can afford this dog in the first place, the money to feed it (it must have a giant appetite), can afford an iphone, PLUS the wherewithal to pay for the calls and internet usage on it on a regular daily basis. He seems to have a lot of people fawning over him, but i just dont get how he can be a genuine case, like many homeless who genuinely have absolutely nothing.

OP posts:
Scremersford · 12/11/2015 14:41

I used to live near a squad of beggars, who had phones, expensive dogs, nice clothes, etc.. Because they lived so close to me I watched them return home to their flat many times. Not a cheap area. They used to do shifts, so someone else didn't move in on their spot. Every single one of them young, healthy (white) males. Apparently its quite common.

Nataleejah · 12/11/2015 16:22

How do you know dog is expensive and pedigree?

mimishimmi · 12/11/2015 23:23

There's a guy in my city who used to be a maintenance worker, he's paid off his house and now makes a living busking by playing his accordion. He plays well too and I usually give him something each week because I enjoy it. Would you begrudge him too? It takes all sorts... just because he's not trotting off dutifully each day to some soul-destroying job doesn't mean he's a feckless vagrant entitled to nothing good in life.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 12/11/2015 23:27

Sofa surfing is considered as being homeless

Booyaka · 13/11/2015 00:10

I grew up with a guy who now does this. The guy I grew up with was horrendously sexually abused at boarding school from quite a young age and was really massively fucked up by it. Then he came back permanently to his hometown, in a very fragile state and unfortuitously inherited a rather large sum of money at the same time. Fucked up young man, vulnerable, desperate to be liked, emotional problems + large sum of money = lot's of complete bastards who want to take advantage. And as a consequence he ended up with a massive heroin habit which burnt through his inheritance pretty quickly. Ended up unemployable and in insecure housing with a drug habit to support.

I can't say I really think he's a bad person, he's just had a really shitty life and is trying to make the best of it. It's an opportunity, and he doesn't have many of them.

I don't give my money to beggars, but they don't really make me angry. Just sad that's the best some people can get out of life.

PageStillNotFound404 · 13/11/2015 00:20

I used to have a pedigree dog. We didn't actually have the bit of paper with his pedigree on, seeing as how he was free from a rescue (they waived the adoption fee because he needed vet treatment) but anyone who knew their dogs could see he was a purebred.

We still had him even after I was made redundant, funnily enough, even though it was a bit more of a struggle to afford the dog food and what have you. I was given my company iPhone as part of my (otherwise fairly paltry) redundancy package, as it happens. Still got it now, several years later, because I can't afford to upgrade it. Luckily I got another job before we ended up on the streets, but there for the grace of God end all that.

Moral of the story, OP...don't judge. Every word of that is true. A couple more months out of work and that could have been me you were describing.

GreatFuckability · 13/11/2015 00:28

I had an iphone when I was homeless. You know you don't have to pay for phones on contract up front right? And it was a pretty necessary thing as it was my only way to contact people, because y'know, landlines don't work well if you don't have a house....dont be such a dick.

Alisvolatpropiis · 13/11/2015 00:36

Yabu.

I have an iPhone on a £20 pm contract.

One of my dogs looks like a fancy breed of domesticated fox if I became homeless and had my phone and my dog with me, would I be less homeless?

Alisvolatpropiis · 13/11/2015 00:40

Nat in fairness to the op, who as you can see I disagree with, its not hard to spot a particular breed of dog.

Whether it is pedigree or puppy farmed is something else entirely.

Unreasonablebetty · 13/11/2015 00:55

The phone may be yonks old, and the dog, that's probably the only security he has.
I feel awful every time I see someone who is obviously homeless.
I had a point where I had to live on someone's floor, through no fault of my own, I couldn't be comfortable in that situation and I found it awfully depressing, and I can't for a single moment imagine how awful they must feel, because for them it's so much worse, being in the cold all day and not being able to eat until people have given you enough money to do so, and even then, when will you get a nutritious meal?

I've seen a man a few times in our town sat in a jumper, shaking and begging. He looks like he's having a really fucking awful time. It really upsets me every time I see him because he can't be any older than 19-20, he's so slim and I suspect he has a heroin problem (only because he looks like he's withdrawing each time I see him) and I would really like to help him... he looks like he's having such a shit time of it. If he was to gain himself a nice dog and an iPhone, I'd still think he had a horrible life...

musicposy · 13/11/2015 01:14

I have an iphone 5c on a £15 a month contract. Admittedly because I got a really good deal years back and every two years when they threaten to put it up on upgrade, I say OK, goodbye Grin and they suddenly find they can keep it the same! But £15 a month - 50p a day - that's a pittance for a bit of comfort, fun and connection to others.

We have two beautiful looking rescue pedigrees, you'd think nearly a couple of grand for both. They came with many issues so were only a donation to the rescue.

You just can't tell. He may be raking it in, he may not. He may have bought an expensive dog, he may have been given it. But either way I wouldn't want to sit on a street corner all day, all weathers. I think his life can't be that great to do that.

kali110 · 13/11/2015 01:32

Yes there are scammers around.

There are also people who just fall on hard times.
I had a great paying job and then got horrendously sick.
I used up all my savings whilst on esa as it took them so long to see me for a medical.
I still had my pets as i'd had them when i had a job.
They were temperamental, old and one was exotic so likelihood wouldn't be cared for properly and the others put down if i had given them up.
I had an iphone.
I'd had it for 2 years before i was ill and luckily the contract was only £15.
No choice but to keep paying it otherwise it would have affected my credit meaning when i was fit for work, my area wouldn't have taken me back.
To others though i looked/look young and healthy as my illnesses are hidden.
They See my phone and think i'm simply sitting on my arse and faking. ( it's an old iphone and also very important that i have a phone with me at all times due to my health).

He may be a scammer yes, but he may not be.
I know i wouldn't want to be sat in the cold and rain!( i couldn't )
I can't say i blame you though for judging as people do, especially when you hear so many stories about people busking and actually living in nice places.
I honestly can't believe loads of people would do this though.

Narp · 13/11/2015 06:32

Sounds like he's living the life of Riley Hmm

You don't know this man's circumstances (care-leaver, mental health problems, ex-miltary, just fallen on hard times after loss of job/relationship) Why don't you go and exercise your annoyance somewhere else, OP,, toward the hundred of thousand in this country who really do exploit others?

CuttedUpPear · 13/11/2015 06:54

I hope to hell that you never fall down on your luck OP.

There could be MN threads about you in the future.

Look on any dog rescue centre website, there are loads of pedigree dogs needing homes because of unscrupulous breeders.

YABVVU.

SchnooSchnoo · 13/11/2015 06:58

Well, he is homeless, but you don't have to be homeless to be a busker anyway. And getting the bus is hardly driving s Bentley.

And as pp have said, he may have an iPhone, but probably not much else! We are drowning under a sea of stuff in the country, it's not that hard to come by a second hand iPhone. I doubt he paid £600 for it.

Can't understand why you would be jealous or begrudging of someone like that. You can always learn to play the tin whistle, op!

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter · 13/11/2015 07:24

Buskers don't have to be homeless at all and they have to have a licence or a permit in a lot of towns/ cities. Aren't there stories/ urban legends of famous musicians busking?... You can live in a mansion and busk without a contradiction really, as you are a street performer not a begger.

Really all you can be grumpy about it that he a rubbish busker if he plays a tin whistle badly, rather than a talented busker playing a more sophisticated instrument beautifully...

Branleuse · 13/11/2015 07:37

Youre not obliged to give to anyone, especially the ones you suspect might be scammers.

I give to beggars and buskers whenever I can, but theres one I never give to, partly because I heard him make a racist comment to some eastern european buskers who were actually bloody amazing musicians, Ive never bought big issue from him since, and then another time I saw him but didnt realise it was him in a shop doorway and took him some sandwiches, and he looked all disaapointed and said "oh, havent you got any money"
He can fuck off.

I dont think hes representative of most of the beggars round here though who im sure are not ALL rough sleepers, at least i hope not, but I dont mind sparing them the odd quid. None of them have an enviable life

WidowWadman · 13/11/2015 07:42

Buskers are not beggars. Read Amanda Palmer's "The Art of Asking" or look for her Ted Talk. No one forces you to give.

BertieBotts · 13/11/2015 07:47

iPhones have been out for about eight years now, it might not be on contract? It might be pay as you go. Cheaper to keep on using a phone he already has rather than buy a new one to satisfy the image of onlookers Confused

And as others have said, homeless =/= sleeping literally on the street, necessarily. Sofa surfing is still homeless.

Ubik1 · 13/11/2015 07:49

Yep there is a lot of hidden homelessness. It's a precarious life.

Seriouslyffs · 13/11/2015 08:05

Doesn't bother me at all. Life's rich tapestry etc. and the fact that he's busking brightens up the streets.
I do however really object to the 'shipped in' Roma and don't understand why the gangsters aren't arrested/ vulnerable ones looked after.

Molio · 13/11/2015 08:15

Massively mean minded OP.

IamaBluebird · 13/11/2015 08:16

After a long day, if it's been a good one or even more so if a bad one, being home is what I love. Just to walk in put the kettle on and relax. Having a home is priceless. Being homeless anytime must be a nightmare and especially now as it gets colder.

MelanieCheeks · 13/11/2015 08:23

You're annoyed because other people seem to have a bit of empathy for a fellow human being?

ThisOldFool · 13/11/2015 08:31

Where's OP?

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