to send a stinking (no pun intended) email round at work...

[cjt110]

I get to work quite early - some days 8.20 and start at 9. Not many people in at this time - about 2/3. Nearly every morning the hallway stinks from someone going to the loo and it wafts through the stairwell and lingers. It's disgusting. They don't spray the provided air freshener, nor open a window.

It's disgusting and yet so easy to resolve. I know we all have bodily functions. But a bit of common sense/decency can be applied surely?

I have holed myself upstairs in my well sealed office away from the smell after going bonkers with the air freshener and opening a window. All it took for 30 seconds max. Another colleague has also made comments similar to me about the smell.

If IANBU, how do you politely, comically perhaps, word said email?

Can we have a description of the culprits please, so the MN jury can decide who it is.

I'm sort of happy that other people have to put up with this too. I have put a note up, more than once. I saw poo on the seat too. What the hell are their toilets at home like?

If the loo in the building I use is in a state I now go to another building across the way. Always winds me up though!

In my old office there were only two women's cubicles in a very small room. The kind with gaps at the top and bottom so you could hear everything. Without fail I would go in straight after someone had pooed, not see them as they'd already left but it would be floating there or stink to high heavens or both. Or I'd go in and be aware someone else was in the other cubicle, waiting for me to leave so they could poo. The tension of knowing they were waiting would make me too nervous to wee. Then I'd think 'oh no they probably think I need to poo so I have to wee so they know I'm not.' Which made me even more anxious so eventually I'd give up, scrunch some toilet paper, flush, wash my hands and leave and go back in 10 mins (and find a floating, smelly poo). Yes I have issues.

Culprit 1. Small built. Developer (I work at a software company) Shaved head. Enjoys walks before work in a morning. Drives like Miss Daisy.

Culprit 2. Tall. Dark haired. Nervous. Drives a 15 year old car which is pristeen and he says it's a classic (Its a Ford Focus )

Culprit 3. Mousey hair. Very outgoing and jokey. Known as the office farter and even got airfreshener bought for him in his secret Santa. Has previously said he isnt allowed to "offload" at home so does it at work. He is my main suspect.

Quite a few years ago the same company had to fire a married couple who both worked there, for smearing shit on the walls etc in the toilets.

How did they find out who was doing it? Did they get an explanatiom? Were they doing it bare-handed? So many questions!

Hmm although culprit 3 is the obvious choice, I wouldn't rule out number 2. Lol punny.

I'd instigate the email personally so that your two fellow innocent colleagues know that you aren't stinky arse as surely they are also thinking it might be you......

At work the other day, one of the corridors stunk of shit, there aint even a toliet in that corridor.

I see possibilities in all of them

Culprit 1: WALKS to work, gets bowels moving. Developer's also have no interpersonal skills (my dh was one, once I taught him well he moved on).

Culprit 2: Likes to keep his own toilet pristine so uses work one. However, seems like the type who would want to use air freshener (does he have 1 of those dangly pine things in his Ford Focus?).

Culprit 3: Obvious, but having been so open about it previously, would he not feel shamed into using the air freshener?

Perhaps Culprit 1 or 2 is trying to frame no. 3. Any office politics we should be aware of?

What does culprit 3 do on the weekend then?

The one thing I would worry about is ta the 5th person to arrive in the morning must think there are 4 possible culprits, 1,2,3 and OP. And the 6th person thinks there are 5 possibilities, 1,2,3,OP and 5. After that, too many suspects. Come in much later, OP, shit smell gone and you're off the list of suspects.

welshHairs

I know! I wish I knew the answers, I can't remember how they were caught. They also used to balance poos on top of the big toilet rolls you get in those Molnlycke dispensers, so when you pulled on the paper one would land in your hand .

I've always said I would love to have heard their conversations over dinner of an evening. I imagine them being sort of like The Twits. But more hardcore.

Not allowed to offload at home?

Is culprit 3 married to Hyacinth Bucket?!

does he have 1 of those dangly pine things in his Ford Focus?. Yes. And he's in a classic car club for it....

No idea what Culprit 3 does of a weekend. I dread to think

Culprit 2 was in the kitchen when a colleague came in and said "It smells rancid out there - someone could at least crack a window open" So if it was Culprit 2 then perhaps said unknown shaming may work?

Culprit1 - His manager did have to have words with him about his personal hygiene. He would come back from his walk when he gets to work (he drives to work then goes for a walk?) and have a wash or whatever ibn the loo downstairs and would stink the place out, the hallway, the office, everywhere with BO. To the point you couldnt go near him without retching. The whole office was disgusted but no-one wanted to say a word, even though we all knew and thought the same. His manager got voted to speak to him.What an awkward thing to bring up in someone's work appraisal

They also used to balance poos on top of the big toilet rolls you get in those Molnlycke dispensers, so when you pulled on the paper one would land in your hand

I've always said I would love to have heard their conversations over dinner of an evening. I imagine them being sort of like The Twits. But more hardcore.

You have to be really, really careful with this. Bear in mind that this only applies to one person, not everybody who will read it. So everybody but that person won't really appreciate instructions on how to use a toilet. Nor is it fair to single people out. I would suggest putting a sign up first entitled 'Polite Reminder'. Then underneath have bullet points.

A) if you are first to use the facilities in the morning please open the window
B) please use the air freshener provided after you have used this facility
C) a toilet brush is provided for your use so you can leave the facilities in the condition you found them.

Please remember these are communal facilities which your colleagues are entitled to expect left clean and hygienic for their use.

If that doesn't work then I would go for an email reiterating those points and reminding people. An email is a bit too heavy handed.

And avoid patronising poems or step by step instructions on how to use a toilet unless absolutely 100% necessary.

I think culprit 3 is my BIL :O

This is toilet Cluedo, Loodo. Mark my words, it is not the most obvious suspect, it is always the cleanest person. Why don't you just get in early and lurk outside the loo, thus exposing the phantom shitter.

We used to have a maintenance engineer at work who smelt for want of a better word of faggy farts. When he sat on my chair I needed to use Febreeze. One of my colleagues knew his boss and told him. He actually allowed him to come into work a bit later each day on the understand he actually showered first and put on a fresh shirt.

This is vile, but do remember that loads of stinking, fake 'air freshener' is just as offensive to some people and can also set off asthma and other conditions. So think twice before adding to the problem it even making it worse.

Oh god, do you work for a company starting with "j" ?

My husband loves to poop on work time and purposefully holds in his poops until he gets to the office!

Minging, why did I marry him?

God culprit 3 sounds like dh, oh the shame

Booyaka Fab wording, thanks

Esmeismyhero Nope!

The plot thickens:

So Esme's dh is culprit 3, and Esme doesn't let him poo in the home loo (excepting, maybe, at the weekend).

Bettyberry is Esme's SIL

I am going for Culprit 1. He has a bad nose for smell, especially his own. I think Culprit 2 likes a bit of air freshener judging by the car. As long as the window is open, I don't think people need to be told to use air freshener.

And at Ann Perkins' Molnlycke toilet dispensers! How did they get them in there?

cjt, just don't use the word 'facilities'. It gives me the rage and after reading it, I may not open window OR use air freshener OR even but I am a SAHM so I don't work with you.

even flush! that should say