My DD(9) is having issues with a friend at school. Twice a week, on average, she comes home with a story of something her friend has said to her that is a bit mean or unkind. This week it has been that my DD (who'd just been made captain for a match) 'needs to up her game to avoid being dropped from the netball team because the PE teacher says she is the worst' and on hearing about my DD's bad back (TBF - my DD is a dreadful drama queen about injuries) that she 'probably had a terrible disease that will kill her'.
Now, for the sake of utter honesty, my DD is able to hold her own in a conversation, she's not deliberately mean, but she can be quite definite and strong willed. I can't tell from her description of these comments whether they are part of 'robust' chat or come somewhat out of nowhere. I'm inclined to the latter lately, and the frequency of these sorts of comments are increasing. The comments do upset my DD.
Also, at the end of the summer term (the last day), the same friend took a favoured pencil (stationery is important in our family!) from my DD and said she wouldn't give it back or be my DD's friend anymore unless my DD 'crawled on her belly in the dirt'. My DD, cut from sterner and more resilient cloth than me, refused to do so and that was the end of that. She was upset, but it was the very end of term so I couldn't get in to see her form tutor until the beginning of the autumn term by which time DD wanted to leave it and see how things were. Things have been ok, but seem to be deteriorating again as the frequency of the little comments seems to be ramping up.
Last term there was also one other issue with the same friend and some other girls who wouldn't let DD play with them as she didn't 'have the same colour skin as them'. That incident the school were aware of as it all got a bit heated, but nothing really came of it and everything seemed to calm down.
I've been taking the 'if people are mean to you, then they aren't worth wasting your valuable time on, be grateful they've shown you who they are and move on' line up until now. However, my DD can be easily worried and stressed about some things (although she'll hide it) and a lot of the latest comments are eating away at her. It's also a v small year group - 19 in the year, all in one class - so there's no real getting away from it.
I don't like to make a huge deal out of playground falling outs, but this is starting to feel a bit meaner spirited than that. Would you, in my situation, start raising it with the school? DD has mentioned some individual comments to some teachers (e.g. she asked the PE teacher about her place on the team) but hasn't framed it as an ongoing situation.