DS is almost 4. Friday is his dad's birthday.
I texted ex on Monday morning "Would you like DS Friday&Saturday night this week?"
Ex: "Aww, yeah that'd be great thanks. I'm being taken away on Thursday so won't be early on Friday I pick him up, can I let you know a time later? I'll drop him back Sunday afternoon"
Me: "DS is in nursery til 1 anyways lol. Yeah, that's fine, just give me a text and let me know"
I told DS it's daddy's birthday on Friday (can I make him a card? Can I make him a cake? What time is daddy picking me up? Etc)
So, fast forward two days, DS has talked about daddy's birthday a lot he knows when he's seeing daddy, very excited and he's made a card and we've bought stuff to make a cake on Thursday night.
I've just woken up to a text from ex: "I don't think I'm gonna be home in good time on Fri as I'm being taken away for a couple days. I don't want to say yes and find I'm not back in time and let him down :( Is it OK to have DS on sat and drop him back Sunday bed time?"
I don't want to drip feed but there's a bit of a back story here; I split up with ex over 3 years ago (DS was 8 months) because he was completely indifferent to his son- didn't hold, feed, change, bath, cuddle or even ask about his son all day. Since we've split I've had to instigate all contact between them. Because ex lives with parents and they're crazy about DS, a lot of the time I've been arranging with them to have DS and ex will see DS because he's there when he finishes work etc. Ex does the whole Facebook/Disney dad thing but they do have a good relationship. Ex usually sees DS once a week/fortnight but I know a lot of the time it's exs parents who are looking after him.
Ex's job for the past 2 years has been work 5 days on, 4 days off. (He always sends me his rotas in advance) and it genuinely baffles me but doesn't surprise me when I see that he's had 4 days off and not texted about having his son.
I've woken up and seen that text and I'm just so angry! I offered him to have DS because I'd be heartbroken if I didn't see my son on my birthday. And now I'm going to be the one who has to tell DS, he's going to be upset and he'll ask why and I'm sick of lying when he asks why he's not seeing daddy!
I think this is just the final straw and I've bitten my tongue too many times before when DS has been let down or not bothered with, and I'm the bad guy who has to tell DS and comfort him and it's horrible to see.
So, AIBU to text my ex and tell him how pissed off I am and how upset/disappointed DS is going to be?
To point out to him that he's already said yes and made arrangements with DS? And, even if he wasn't home til 5, he could still see DS for an hour and drop him back for bedtime? (It's not about the having overnight)
To not drip feed and because it'll probably be asked- I'm not in love with my ex, this isn't jealousy or anything like that, we actually get on better now as friends than we did when we were together(if I ignore the disappointing dad act) I've been with my DP for almost 2 years and I'm happier than I ever have been! Ex is going away with his new DP (who I encouraged him to get with because he was shy/reluctant)