To want do spend Christmas day with my friends, not my family?

[OldMona]

We all feel that we just ruined our families' Christmases last year.

I asked my granddaughter to 'stand up pet and let Great Uncle Bill have a seat' when we were gathered for pre-lunch drinks. Apparently her self esteem still hasn't recovered and she now thinks she's of little value

Edna was so excited when her nephew brought his new baby around that she stroked her cheek and said 'ooh, what a poppet'. The baby is, apparently, incensed at having her space invaded and will probably never speak to Edna again (when she learns to speak)

And Shirley brought her granddaughter a Barbie doll and her grandson a train set and has, apparently, forced gender stereotypes on the children, tried to outdo Santa with the cost of the presents and cluttered up her DIL's house with plastic rubbish .

To add to all that, I passed around a tin of Quality Street after dinner and apparently deliberately 'imposed my own tradition' on DDIL who had a box of Belgian truffles in the fridge; Edna asked if she could listen to the Queen's speech not realising that she was 'taking over' the family day; and Shirley assumed her Grandson would sleep on the blow up bed so she could have his room, causing the poor lad to feel 'ousted' and 'as if he wasn't welcome in his own home'. She honestly just thought that with her chronic arthritis and bad back.......

So, we don't want to cause any more trouble. Would we BU to buy a nice turkey and pud in M&S and stay in Edna's house this year.

Thanking you,

Mona, Edna and Shirley.

We'll thought out op.

Dear OldMona,

Can I come to yours?

Love, ArcheryAnnie.

I've just been having a chat with Edna. She thinks our mistake was in not realising that we're not 'immediate family' anymore, so naturally we come across as presumptuous and making ourselves a bit too much 'at home' in our children's houses.

In future we will act like acquaintances and be on our very, very best behaviour (should we ever be so lucky as to be invited to be part of these families' Christmases again )

Absolutely brilliant oldmona. That really made me laugh

Edna ignores anyone with a baby in case they think she's a space invader

Space invader

Very good
Xxx

Book yourselves into a lovely hotel & have a fabulous time.

OldMona - Just hope that you live long enough to see your horrid selfish nuclear family obsessed children, be rejected by their own children at Christmas time when they start their own families.

After all Christmas is about treating your children like delicate princes, and treating your non spawn as dirt you would pick off your shoe.

But Maryz If OldMona sends money will she not be seen as uncaring?

And well done OP, for making a very valid point in a very humorous non-offensive way .

Hey Mona can I join you? I'll just drink gin in the corner and eat all the food

You should start a blog Mona, a rallying point for us who are becoming increasingly confused by modern life .

brilliant

I'm coming. I'll bring gin, sherry, mince pies & maybe even DH - he's great at moaning

Fantastic! I've managed to get to 42 and never cook a Christmas dinner because generally I enjoy gate crashing other people's Christmasses and being inappropriate.

Mona, you and your buddies are far too nice. I'd go and play 'how-to-annoy-the-rellies- Bingo' with your fiends. Whoever is the first to a full house gets a bottle of sherry.

If you are not all in the same house (I'm assuming you have different children), you could Face Time each other and cackle loudly at the various sins you've all committed.

Oh my goodness, we'll be quite a party. I must get my thinking hat on and make a shopping list. I'm afraid Edna, Shirley and I are very outdated and enjoy a traditional Christmas dinner. We have realised, however, that we can't just assume that everyone likes turkey and ham and sherry trifle. I am also aware that a lot of people nowadays have very specific diets and it's discriminatory and unwelcoming to assume they'll pick and choose what they can eat from the normal Christmas fare.

So please don't worry. I will make sure to cater for vegans, clean eaters and those who think they might be gluten intolerant with lots of separate starters, main courses and puddings.

We will also just call it a 'celebratory meal' as I fully understand that the inclusion of 'Christ' in the title can be very offensive for those who wish to celebrate the Christmas Season whilst having serious issues with the actual Christmas story.

Can we all come

I have a lovely assortment of Christmas jumpers.

I'll bring them all and we can pick and choose which suits best.

Fantastic thread OP, mumsnet at its best for a change!!

Well I think I shall not have any problem being invited as I am the perfect guest as evidenced by the gifts I received last year.

1 bosom hoiking kit
Lipstick for pursed lips.
Megaphone in case my tutting was not loud enough
Face mask to worn for breathing over children
And a book called ' How to deal with a Toxic Mother in Law'
I think the last one was a mistake as my MiL died years ago.

Oh, and I can confirm that Edna will definitely be joining us. She thought, as her DH died a few weeks ago, her DS and DIL might particularly want her to join them for Christmas. But apparently the DGC like to be able to play with their new toys uninterrupted, and DS and DIL hate having to get dressed on Christmas Day and will be exhausted after a week of parties and shopping so would prefer to be left alone to recover.

TBH, with my new social skills, I could have told her not to be so silly. She must realise that she is now at the bottom of the pecking order and I really hope her DS and DIL did not get the impression that she was being manipulative and needy. "There comes a time, Edna" I said "to take a back seat and stop pushing our way into other people's special day".