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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate having my ticket checked?

79 replies

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 10/11/2015 08:39

I suspect I am being very unreasonable. I have no objection whatever to buying a ticket BTW.

I travel alot on trains for work, often long/ longish journeys and all different.

My job is quite stressful plus I have dcs 7 and 1. Dh works even longer hours than me so we are always busy. I also suspect I am an introvert by nature.

On trains I really like to just zone out, whether it be into a book, mn, playing a game or just my own thoughts. It really bugs me when the collectors intrude on my thoughts with "tickets please", especially when they shout it as they come into the carriage expecting everyone to wait with their tickets out til they come to you.

The obvious response is, how else will they know if people have paid. There are barriers at every station. But I guess I'm not really saying they shouldn't do it, just wondering if anyone else hates it.

I am never rude about it, just show my ticket in silence quite a lot.

Is it weird to see time on the train as really precious quiet time?

To recap, I'm not really saying they shouldn't do it, just wondering if anyone else hates it.

OP posts:
celtictoast · 10/11/2015 11:08

How hard is it to smile and say hello though bananafish? Confused

Bumdance · 10/11/2015 11:16

You sound like a gem bananafish. What's with the superiority complex?

UhtredRagnorsson · 10/11/2015 11:16

Celtic - often, it's the hardest thing in the world. Just because you may not find it hard doesn't mean that others are the same.

MrsMolesworth · 10/11/2015 11:18

I hate it because the journeys I do always involve crossing London to make a connection either with about 3 seconds to spare or waiting another half hour for the later train home. If the ticket inspector clips my ticket it doesn't always work in the tube barrier, so I have to get a member of staff to let me through, and that short delay means I miss the early connection and so miss an extra half hour with DC after work.

YANBU. We are allowed to hate this. Grin

PrivatePike · 10/11/2015 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkSquash · 10/11/2015 11:23

If people always made sure they had a valid ticket then we wouldn't need to have revenue blocks on and conductors/Ticket examiners on trains.

There's a really large section of society who think the railways are free for them to travel. Hence checking tickets when you're leaving the station.

Olddear · 10/11/2015 11:29

I just keep my ticket in my pocket. Show it when asked. Usually with a smile. It's really not very difficult

PeasePuddingCold · 10/11/2015 11:30

Good lord, OP, YABU. Completely!

There are far worse things on long train journey than being asked for your ticket: noisy people, and even worse, inconsiderately noisy people in the Quiet Carriage.

People who sit in one's reserved seat, oblivious, so on a crowded train, there's even more squashing and delay while they get out so I can get to my seat.

Overcrowding. Screaming children. Bad headphones so noise leaks, or worse, people watching/listening without headphones.

Mansprawlers. People who leave their rubbish all over the table or seat.

Personally, I find most train guards to be pleasant helpful people, and enjoy exchanging a good morning or good evening with them.

They are people, which if you ever need their help, you might appreciate rather more than you seem to at the moment. How would you like it if people you serve in doing your job thought you were a nuisance?

YABU

Anotherusername1 · 10/11/2015 11:49

OP, YABU. But so am I, because I am the same :)

Original poster
HaydeeofMonteCristo · 10/11/2015 12:13

peasepudding surely it is a matter of opinion that the things you dislike are worse. Babies can't help screaming for instance.

Most ticket collectors I come across don't say hellp or try to chat. I would say hello to those who do.

The question was wizard whether others feel the same way.

I didn't say that should stop doing it or that I was going to be rude in any way.

OP posts:
KidLorneRoll · 10/11/2015 12:23

I really do wonder how some people manage to survive day to day when they can't handle simple interactions.

It takes nothing to be nice to people in customer service roles. It makes you an arsehole, however, if you aren't.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 10/11/2015 12:36

I have a station near me (I never use it for good reason) that not only doesn't have a ticket office or even a ticket machine never mind barriers but the station is a request stop only. Heaven help you if the conductor doesn't check your ticket because if they don't the driver doesn't stop.

whois · 10/11/2015 12:42

Ticket barriers wouldn't stop you from not having the correct value ticket. Travel from london to Edinburgh? Buy a ticket london to Watford to get through london ticket barrier, and hen from local station to Edinburgh to get out the other end! That's why you still need inspectors. Also often natures are open or broken or stations don't even have them.

whois · 10/11/2015 12:43

I really do wonder how some people manage to survive day to day when they can't handle simple interactions.

I know! Can't imagine how shit life must be if someone checking your ticket gets you all stressed out.

PrivatePike · 10/11/2015 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

celtictoast · 10/11/2015 12:59

UhtredRagnorsson there's a difference between social anxiety or shyness and just can't be bothered though.

Olddear · 10/11/2015 13:07

Well, this being MN, the ticket inspector will be a narc so it's perfectly reasonable to go NC with him/her and whatever you do they must have absolutely no contact with your children! Just in case they say 'hello' to them or worse, touch their cheek......

Original poster
HaydeeofMonteCristo · 10/11/2015 13:33

Well thanks everyone. As i said at the beginning, I expect I'm being unreasonable. It seems at least a few people think so.

kidlorne I hardly said I couldn't cope with having ticket checked, or that I presented any kind of problem, just that I didn't like it (well, I said hated it but it may not be quite such a strong emotion).

I just wondered if others found it as intrusive as I do. I think the actual problem lies with having a life where (as is pretty common these days) the only chance for a bit of peace / time alone is on the train. If I had more downtime at other times I'm sure I wouldn't mind at all.

I don't feel anxious about it, I just like a bit of headspace.

Going back to earlier posts, I do leave my ticket on the table in proper "intercity" type trains. But on stopping type trains there is not always a table and if there js I always worry it will get knocked off.

OP posts:
Oldraver · 10/11/2015 13:37

We recently went to London and didnt have our expensive tickets checked once. No barriers at out local station or at Paddington, as they just waved us through due to the train being late

I must admit we were waiting for someone to come at some point and check our tickets on the train

Original poster
HaydeeofMonteCristo · 10/11/2015 13:39

bumdance if you said hello to me I would say hello to you.

You sound nice.

But I don't do the British thing of saying "thanks" when I hand it over for no particular reason.

OP posts:
CrohnicallyAspie · 10/11/2015 13:56

kid I have AS. My last train journey (eurostar), I was held up through passport checks so nearly missed my train, the crowds were horrendous and I kept being jostled, I got on the train with 3 heavy bags and a toddler to find that someone was in my seat (the reservations had gone wrong and it was a free for all).

I just needed to sit, put my headphones on, and shut out the world out for a bit while I recovered. And I was literally unable to speak by then, so I'm sorry if I had my headphones on and wordlessly shoved my ticket at the inspector when he came round. I couldn't even raise a smile!

And yeah, life is hard when that sort of interaction stresses you out- though in my case it was just the 'last straw'. I wouldn't go as far as to say life is shit though, most times when I'm not in a crowd and things are working out as they are supposed to I actually enjoy life.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 10/11/2015 14:04

I can't really get behind this at all. You don;t want to show your ticket because you're busy, your husband is busy, and you have 2 children? Huh?Surely this is a fleeting minor irritation, unless the ticket inspector starts trying to chat with you?

I agree that it is an irritation, but not one I'd devote this much time and energy to, personally.

PeasePuddingCold · 10/11/2015 16:19

if others found it as intrusive as I do

Intrusive! Intrusive? I hardly believe I'm reading this!

They.Are.Doing.Their.Job.

and really, hardly paid enough to deal with rude people like you.

Original poster
HaydeeofMonteCristo · 10/11/2015 16:46

I'm sorry pease I can't see I've been rude to anyone. I specifically said in op that I'm not rude or show it in anyone, or think that they shouldn't be doing there job.

I really think you are just on here trying to pick a fight.

Surely it is not worthy of your (massively overstated) disbelief for someone to feel a certain. I think that some people (I.e. you, pease) try to make a fight when there isn't one.

OP posts:
Original poster
HaydeeofMonteCristo · 10/11/2015 16:54

Feel a certain way. Internally. And just check out whether any strangers on the internet feel a similar way. As many of the early posters on the thread did until aggressive people like you came along.

Not at all worthy of exclamation marks and silly full stops between your words.

If it's not clear, I am not rude to anyone (as repeated stated). I am aware their bosses ask them to check tickets. I'd prefer they didn't but there you are.

I suggest you read a thread and an op properly before coming on a guns blazing with silly mock disbelief.

OP posts:
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