To ask for your help- adhd dn

[Dameshazaba]

Hi all can I ask your advice on how to help my dsis with her son? He is going through the assessments for adhd, he's 10. School are at their wits end, apparently. Any advice on how to get the best out of him? He's a lovely lad, but just can't seem to stop himself doing the opposite of what teachers ask, can't stop fiddling, often fights with friends. Dsis worried hell be excluded. I don't know what to say to help and thought I'd ask for any advice on here? Thank you.

As a started, look up "fiddle toys". Most people with ADHD concentrate better with slightly divided attention. These toys will allow him to divide attention and have some physical activity without being distracted.

Thomas E Brown writes well about getting the best from and for young people with ADHD.

If he is excluded, then the LA will have to step up to put things in place to include him. I'd suggest speaking to the inclusion team at the LA and also special needs dept.

Your dsis needs a bloody medal to have gotten to age 10 without a diagnosis, it completely revolutionised how my DS (8) was treated at school.

Behaviour Support were very helpful with my DS - gave strategies for school and for me.

I have to exercise DS a lot. We go for a walk every day after school and do a lot more in the summer. It's been important for us to make time for when he can be himself rather than having to "conform" constantly.

Yes she has been tearing her hair out and relations gave been strained with school- thanks so much for the advice. He works with a ta alot and often gets into disagreements with her- not ideal- dsis wondering how she can help the ta too? I'll pass on what's been suggested

Is there an ADHD parents' support group near your DSis? Although support groups are not for everyone they can be a mine of information, and parents will pass on tips about what works for their child. They also know which local schools are good/bad for children with ADHD which with secondary coming up will be important for your DN.

There's an online forum called Adders, I would encourage her to visit it. She will get help/advice and not feel like she's the only one dealing with this. Having a child with ADHD can be really isolating.

On a side note, I really wish schools would be quicker off the mark when it comes to identifying ADHD/pushing for diagnosis rather than trying to just deal with it in school. Medication can be life - changing if it works well, it certainly was for my child. He was first flagged up as 'very active' when he was in the womb, and despite major sleep issues/tantrums etc, nursery struggling with him, then school issues, he got to the age of 8 before ADHD was suggested.

Have you posted on the Special Needs forum OP?