To want a parent figure

[Leavingsosoon]

I feel like I am doing a good job of appearing to be in control of stuff but actually feel very panicky and strange about it all.

I feel like I need almost constant reassurance that I am doing the right things, I want praise for doing the things I am doing well, I feel like I need someone like that.

I know it's a silly silly post but does this resonate with anybody?

Not anymore, used too. Trouble is if you do get reassurance and rely on it, it becomes a bit of a crutch.

I'm like that at work. It's a combination of not getting feedback and not asking for feedback.

I have no idea if my work is good.

It's due to insecurity.

Do you mean in the context of child rearing, or just in life in general? If it's with regards to kids I totally understand because the first time is hard to be fully confident in your decisions when another life depends on it unless you are a supremely confident person.
If in life in general then I think you need to realise that people aren't going to always give you reassurance due to time restrictions, thinking you don't need it or through not giving a shit. How is your self esteem? because I worry if you rely on others so much for validation you make get let down or taken advantage of It's ok to fuck up, it's not the end of the world if you don't do things 'right'

I used to think like this, and sometimes still do. I'm 50 and try to remember my grandma telling me- if you do it then that is the right thing to do.
It was good advice-for child rearing and life in general.

Yes I am like that however I also am quite anxious and am nc with my own parents due to abuse. When I do stuff I imagine these fantasy parents telling me I am doing a great job and how lovely my kids are because I don't have anyone like that in real life (apart from DH obviously).

I think it is a natural thing to want. Everybody likes someone who always has their back. I think it is okay to want that sort of support. That doesn't mean you won't be okay without it but it is nice to have.

Yes, especially in regards to child rearing.

I always used to be quite confident in my ability to parent but am losing my confidence a bit just now as DC1 is being difficult.

I completely feel like this. Exactly the same. Stems completely from having an I approving and unloving mother. I constantly am trying to please to this day and I'm 36. I also crave a lot of cuddles!!
Rubbish, isn't it?!

Read 'unapproving' not 'I approving' of course!
Sorry was trying to catch up with 'unforgotten' last night at the same time as being on mumsnet....

I suppose the flip side is I haven't got anyone to criticise what I'm doing :)

Despite being married with 3 children I often look for an adult doing better than adulting than I am.