AIBU, heard kind of talking behind someone's back- cringe?

[avocadosarentmiddleclassed]

I know I was BU but AIBU to keep mentally beating myself up about it..

In the staff room at work this week, someone had left a beautiful biscuit tin on the table, I remarked 'oh I wonder if my class can have the tin when the biscuits are eaten' to which someone replied 'no Mary's already got first dibs on it.'

I didn't respond. Then when my boss joined us she said that she had bought the biscuits and that I was welcome to have said tin for my class to play with.

Anyway, after a long day yesterday I stupidly/pointlessly told my boss thank you for the tin and that at first someone had told me that Mary had first dibs on it (I don't know why) I said this I'm not really a stirrer by nature but anyway..

My employer really overreacted and said 'oh that woman is a nightmare, you can't trust her, she would take anything blah blah blah' and just at that moment her best friend walked in and everyone went quiet, I was embarrassed and it was kind of awkward, she'll definitely tell her friend Mary and I'll be seen as a bad guy even though it was just a silly comment.

I'm almost tempted to apologise but think I'll make it worse.

Just lately Ive noticed that I keep opening my big gob when I shouldn't and I think it comes from feeling insecure in my position at work with my colleagues (newish job with 4 ladies all of whom are good friends with each other, working 'under' me)

Sorry rant over, can anyone give me permission to stop beating myself up?

Thanks.

It's this one isn't it??? www.fortnumandmason.com/products/merry-go-round-musical-tin

I am not at all surprised it has caused all this angst and kerfuffle.

What was your boss thinking??!!

my god you'd think they'd try and at least get it in tune??! i was thinking i'd buy one, but after hearing it, oh my ears!!!

Surely not? That's a very nice tin to be giving away.

It sounds like you got a rough introduction to office politics... :)

You would have been wrong to ask your boss to try and get over the other woman, but as your boss offered, you were nice to mention someone else had made a claim to it. Of course they were wrong to make claims on something that belonged to someone else.

Just keep being yourself and open and don't expect to make good friends at work. Nice if it happens but they are colleagues, remember that.

Do you have anyone in RL you can get reassurance from? I go to fortnightly therapy too but I use dh in between to run stuff past that I'm torturing myself over (stuff like, did I come across as rude, should I have accepted that social invite).

The bad blood between grabby Mary and biscuit tin boss is theirs only and nothing that you have caused/contributed to.Here's some cake, no tin required

I would just let Mary have the tin; it would only look bad if you took it.

It's a tin.

Let Mary have it.

She's not stressing about the tin! She's stressing about finding herself in a position where it might have looked like she was badmouthing a colleague.

I know this is old, but today I was reminded of this thread and the gloriously kitsch biscuit tin because ...Aldi have a version in that plays 'Tannenbaum' very tinnily and includes 200 g of iced ginger nuts.

Obviously I bought one.

Anyway if like me you coveted the £££ version and have £3.99 (iirc) hie thee hence to Aldi pronto.

Oops, image.