To think I should be able to moan with my friends about gaining weight even though I'm not fat?

[DextersMistress]

I'm naturally slim. This is due to genetics and pure luck. I'm aware of this.

However, I've recently gained over a stone in weight and I'm not happy with it. The trouble is, although I'm still within the 'normal' bmi range, I don't gain an ounce on my arms/legs/face and it all goes on my middle. I can hide it pretty easy in high wasted jeans but I'd still like it gone. (I've had more than a couple of people ask if I'm pregnant)

My problem is that I'm still smaller than my closest friends, and whenever they start a conversation about diets I feel like I can't join in. They say things like oh yes I wish I was as fat as you

It makes me feel like I can't have a moan with them like they do, and it's pretty uncomfortable when the subject inevitably comes up (they're both doing ww)

Aibu? Or should I keep quiet about my own weight?

^ bad example actually, it should be 'I really shouldn't be having this second cake...'!

There are limits of course...I"m going out with my friend tonight who was diagnosed this week with cancer

So I need to definitely not moan about the cold I have had this week...

Oh, "there's nothing of you". I used to love that one.

Nobody can be honest about weight, no idea why. I put on 4 stone in a few months before, not one person said whoah there KC, get a grip! I cried when I couldn't do up my coat that winter and started to sort it out. I said to my mum this week, this is the coat I couldn't do up (and it's pretty big!) and she says she really couldn't see me as large. No wonder we have an 'obesity crisis'.

Fab post goodnessgracious .

Op I totally sympathize. In the last 6 months I have put on weight and it is a huge head fuck to get around. I am 6ft and a size 10 but now I feel the weight.

All my life I have been able to see my ribs and suspend my underwear from my hip bones. I sounds unhealthy but I eat shit loads, it just never stayed...now it is it's hard for me to adjust to my new body.

I don't go out often and the other weekend when I tried on my 'party dresses' they no longer fit around the boobs or waist. It was both laughable and depressing.

I'm still a size 10 verging on 12 but I can feel the new weight. I really try hard to concentrate on the positives but it's hard when I look in the mirror and all I can see is the change.

I don't bother moaning or trying to explain to friends/family or dp how I feel as it is always dismissed.

Okay...my moan over...I do understand and it sucks ass.

Find some friends who can talk about something more interesting than diets and their weight.

my thoughts exactly. Does no-one have a life, any hobbies, anything interesting to talk about?

self self self...

Gruntled we talk about anything and everything! We spend the day together every few weeks and weight/diets is just one of the many things mentioned while we eat cake

YANBU.

You should be able to moan, but you are unlikely to get sympathy. Spoken as a fellow apple with a small frame who noticed her extra stone. Pick who you moan to. Just don't pick the person who asks you what you are going to do about it then. I didn't like that answer.

Sorry, at no point have I said it's all we talk about

I know exactly what you mean but personally I would pick my audience. I have learnt not to mention anything to do with weight and feeling flabby as I will just get the usual comments that you point out.

Frustrating.. but I save the talk for the right crowd (as in DH rather than friends)

I'm a 6. I get this too. I also get no sympathy if I say I struggle to find clothes small enough. It's entirely genetic - DBs are the same. I do very little exercise but even admitting that is just license for people to make bitchy comments, it seems. I sympathize, OP.

It is insensitive to moan about something to people who have it far worse. That applies to any topic. You can have a whinge but know/choose your audience.

Yanbu.

Just because lots of people are fatter than you doesn't mean you can't discuss your weight.

I'm an 8-10, a friend of mine is a 6-8. Just because she's smaller than me doesn't mean she can't feel unhapp if she's put on weight etc.

I think everyone should be free to comment on their own bodies, BUT if you are the thinner friend, and you are going to comment about putting on weight could I advise the following? Don't do it by starting the conversation at biggest friends birthday meal our especially if bigger friend doesn't get out much and was looking forward to a relaxing LAUGH, especially if you are normally an 8 and they are twice that at a 16, and even more so if you get a free tailored healthy option provided by work at lunchtime.....[not bitter at the memory, really I'm not emocon!!!!!!!!]

Foslady that's awful.