To feel like I've led quite a dull life on the whole

[Dullfromdullsville]

I'm in my late thirties and maybe having an early mid life crisis! I can't help feeling extremely boring and underachieving for someone of my age.

For example, I have never really travelled except for package holidays pre children. I just never seemed to have the money and would certainly never have been brave enough to travel alone like some people do. Now I can't as I still have no money, plus now I have husband, kids, mortgage etc.

I have under acheived in my career despite a promising start 13 years ago, I never pushed further like others do. As a result I feel like a bit of a failure. I think lack of confidence is the main reason for that.

At the moment I work with a diverse bunch of colleagues many of which are from overseas. By comparison, they have travelled the world, had lots of interesting experiences etc. I live close to where I grew up and work within 30 miles of that area too. They are high achievers and ambitious about life. I sometimes find it quite hard to add something interesting to the conversations we have.
I do have plans to travel when the kids grow up but I just have this nagging feeling I have wasted my life a bit.

I am sure someone might suggest I'm depressed, which is certainly true to some extent. I have started St John's Wort in the last week. All of my observations are still true though.

I guess what I want is for someone to tell me its OK to be a bit boring, we can't all be fabulous!

Blimey wellthatstornit I clippered my hair off and thought I was rad!

Gottagetmoving.

I'll be focusing on teaching my LO that most material possessions are pointless trinkets that mean very little. More important is her happiness.
If she aims at the stars and reaches the moon but is happy, then she's done well. It's happiness and contentment that is the most important thing.
She'll feel enough pressure from media and peers about career and all the rest of it that she doesn't need any more from me.

I'm hoping she'll grow up knowing she can o anything she desires and that whether it's stacking shelves at the corner shop or running the country, if she's happy, she's done well in my eyes.

Does that make sense? Lmao.

You have your work cut out then, Seeyou with today's society and media, I hope your message gets through to her!

I do quite enjoy making cakes. I've decided to make a bonfire themed monstrosity for tomorrow. I think my low mood must be improving today though as last week i would have thought it was far too much effort. I love baking but unfortunately it's quite a calorie laden hobby as I end up eating most if my creations myself! That's why I don't do it much

Seeyounearertime, you do sound very content and that's something I really admire in others. The ability to be happy. What a wonderful role model to your child.

I hear you! I recently bought Davina's sugar free book and immediately turned to the baking bit and all she does is replace with sugar with maple syrup, which is very expensive, and also still flipping sugar!

You sound unfulfilled. I think charity of any kind can really make life more meaningful , whether it's being a guide leader, hearing kids read at school, volunteering with homestart eor whatever...perhaps you could make cakes for school fairs, homeless drop ins etc?
I made a top ten list of my small pleasures like hot baths, climbing hills, new books and make sure I have them regularly!
writing a list of 3 good things that have happened that day, however small, always cheers me up.

I have travelled and done the usual random things like bungee jumping etc. I now live a fairly suburban life work, DC, homework... However, having children has helped me appreciate the joy in the small everyday things around us. Take most children to a swimming pool and it's the most fun and exciting thing ever in their eyes, reading a story takes you to another world, feeding the ducks or going on a train are major events.
Borrow a bit of wonder from your children and appreciate the every day things and suddenly the world is a more exciting place.

Also copy a bit of their impulsiveness. If there is something you really want to do and it's possible to do it-just go for it. We live within reasonable travelling distance of Wembley and the DC mentioned about seeing England play so I thought what the heck (I have a days out fund saved up) and booked tickets. We will all remember that day for a long time.

I think as the kids get older life will get more exciting. They are 7 and 4 so we are a bit limited sometimes in what we can do. That sounds like fun though chaz!

You sound like me too I often think I'd like to retrain for a different career but I have no idea what!

I haven't read the full thread yet, but I just wanted to say that I hear you, OP.

I was on a work night out recently and was sat beside a guy who I was really good mates with before I went on maternity leave but we did t really keep up. This was the first time I had seen him since I'd been back. We had NOTHING to talk about, I couldn't think of anything interesting to say to him. I talked about parenthood and stuff to the extent I was boring myself. Eventually he changed seats...

It was mortifying and eye opening. I got home and gave it some thought and I realised that I am actually a dull person. I'm not funny, I'm not particularly quick, I haven't done anything particularly notable and I don't really have any interesting hobbies, not great with fashion etc, I just do away. Happy with my lot, and my husband and baby daughter don't think I'm dull, but yeah, since that night I've found I struggle with social situations and I have become very self conscious.

See? I've killed yet another thread...

IndiaRaine makes a nice change, it's usually me! I like to think it's because I've concluded it beautifully

Ha ha sorry India I've just read your post! I know exactly what you mean when it comes to socialising. I've got my work Christmas do coming in a few weeks and I feel like I need to actively think of interesting things to talk to people about. The trouble is I don't really do anything very exciting. The highlight of my week last week was getting a new lunch bag!! Rock 'n' roll eh, How sad am I?!!!!