AIBU to stop dieting and 'maintain'?

[ShamelessBreadAddict]

So as not to drip feed, I have had some weight issues in the past, tending to be overweight through some of secondary school and, at times, at uni too. Lots of up and down over the years which I don't think was very healthy psychologically and probably physically too. I had some binge / purge tendencies and I think a generally unhealthy attitude to weight.

In the past I wanted to be 'thin' and I battled to get to the lower end of normal weight but honestly I am beginning to think that is just not my natural predisposition.

I had a normal BMI for about 6 years prior to falling pregnant but my weight had fluctuated from borderline underweight to the higher end of normal during this time. I put on weight during pregnancy and have been steadily losing it since. I have done this using a range of methods but mainly the goal has been calorie control and healthy food choices. It has really been no struggle to get here and I feel comfortable at this weight.

I am 5'8" and on my bathroom scales, (which are cheapy old school ones, so not hugely accurate perhaps), completely naked, post-wee, pre-coffee, I weigh 11 stone 8 - 9 lbs. My weight has always fluctuated depending on the time of day, month, if I've just eaten, what I'm wearing etc so I guess on a 'bad' day my weight could edge into 'overweight' (think I can be up to 11 stone 10 and still be normal according to bmi).

The thing is I think I look fine. I am usually very critical of my weight but I see photos and videos of myself and I don't think I look fat. My DH likes me this weight too if that matters. Really, if I could click my fingers and be 2 stone lighter I don't think I would do it. I eat healthily etc and do a lot of walking with my 11mo in a sling plus some more intensive exercise (though I don't have time to do as much as I'd like).

Anyway, I'm ready for the brutal truth. Do I need to plough on and lose a few more lbs to be safely in the 'normal' bmi category or can I stay as I am?

Anyway, I'm ready for the brutal truth. Do I need to plough on and lose a few more lbs to be safely in the 'normal' bmi category or can I stay as I am?

You should absolutely stay as you are. Forget BMI, it means nothing.

It depends. I have always thought I was a healthy weight because my bmi has always been around 20/21. But I am also prediabetic. It turns out having a small frame (5'10 but tiny wrists, hands and size 5 feet) means that for me healthy weight is below 10.5stone even though I think I could get up to closer to 12stone without being overweight by bmi.
I also tend to flabby rather than muscle which makes a difference.
You might be the opposite and be healthier at a bmi of 24 than 19. Ignoring bmi how healthy are you?

I would try relaxing about trying to lose weight, try and get to grips with mindful/intuitive eating. Make conscious decisions around what you know food can do for you - positive choices to treat your body well rather than choices made on the basis of 'shoulds' or 'shouldnts' or good/bad food, whilst being relaxed about occasionally having food that isn't quite so much on the positive side. That stuff tends to lose it's appeal once it isn't banned!

Your LO is only 11m, you sound very active and if I understand, you like exercise so probably this will increase as you get more free time. I think your body will find it's way to a healthy weight this way and it may or may not be inside a 'healthy' BMI but if you have a healthy lifestyle (wrt diet, alcohol, exercise, cigarettes) then you can certainly be fit and healthy.

Oh and if you've moved from being very critical of your body to actually thinking you look fine/liking it then you are very lucky and should try and hang on to/develop that. It's pretty unusual and such a positive thing when it comes to looking after ourselves. Most people trying to lose weight hate their body and the process is all about punishment and deprivation, which is why it doesn't work long term (either we give up or we lose weight yet still hate our body!). The truth is that you won't care well for something you hate but coming from a positive, nurturing state of mind means the positive choices wrt lifestyle are easy and sustainable. Not to mention a positive body image is an amazing thing to model to DC's

Thanks ladies.

Sorry to hear you are prediabetic sweet. Interesting to hear that your small frame makes a difference to your ideal weight. I do have tiny wrists actually but enormous feet and quite broad shoulders (God don't I make myself sound attractive haha)!

I am in the same position and would like to lose more, but find I can't. However, after years of dieting and eating disorders, I find that I have to "diet" just to stay the same. My metabolism is so slow now. I will gain weight if I start eating 1800 cal/day.

And couldn't agree with you more sleep re DCs. Think I have started to be more positive about my body since having DC. Don't know why; possibly because it produced my baby and I have a bit more respect for it (if that's not too airy fairy). Really don't want to pass on food / weight issues to DC.

That's not airy fairy at all, it's good to think about what are bodies are for and being grateful/admiring/ respectful of what they can do. Far too often all the focus is on what they look like!

I think it sounds like you have a really healthy attitude and have others have said ignore BMI it's just a rough gauge, it doesn't take into account a person bone frame size or how much muscle/fat a person has. I'm sure I read somewhere that waist to height ratio is a better gauge. If your happy that's all that matter's.

To be honest it sounds like a non-problem. You eat healthily, exercise, like how you look. Your husband thinks you look great too so it's not just your skewed perception. It's just the number on the scales and bmi that's bothering you. Just throw those scales out and carry on as you are. If you clothes get tight, reign it in a bit. You sound just fine.

It's a personal choice.

Maybe rather than seeing it as "dieting" or actively trying to lose more weight, try and shift your attitude towards being more physically active (taking up a sport for instance), and continuing to make healthy food choices.

You might find that once you mentally relax a bit, and start exercising, that you either end up losing a bit more without trying, or at least manage to avoid gaining weight with less effort.

I mention exercising since walking isn't really exercise from a cardio perspective unless your heart rate is significantly raised (e.g. you're going up big hills). If yr already doing a bit of more intensive stuff, I'd focus more on that.