To feel uncomfortable about this

[Kittyfrickle]

I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first child and she is my mum's first grandchild too so she is understanbly excited. Not long after I told her she started making a big deal about telling her boyfriend's parents. They have been together for just under a year and I have met his parents once. I am too old for the whole step-dad thing and don't really have a close relationship to him or his family as I don't think it should really be expected.

Well it turns out that she told her boyfriend's parents before we told my own grandparents (mums parents) which I think is a bit desrespectul and weird. I went to visit her one day and she went very overboard saying how they're so excited to be great-grandparents (barf) and have already started buying things. Don't get me wrong, that's very nice of them but they're nothing to do with me or my unborn baby and I won't be going out of my way to include them in her life. If they happen to be at my mum's house when I visit the fair enough. They're practically strangers to me. AIBU to feel annoyed and uncomfortable about this?

YABU because it doesn't really matter if another set of people are excited about your baby but overall YANBU about made up relationships.

When I gave birth to DD the third day post CS I had visitors from 9 am until we finally said enough is enough at 9pm when DFIL (who had of course visited himself every day) wanted to bring his GF's sister! Apparently she really loves babies and was very excited but I had never met the woman and didn't have much to do with DFIL's GF anyway.

I may be a lone voice but I understand, OP. With your dm's history, it's unlikely this relationship will last long so it's a bit premature for this latest boyfriend's parents to be acting as though they're close relatives.

And yes, I know lots of people who knit for every new baby - but they don't go around calling themselves great-grandparents.

However, bear in mind you're only hearing your dm's version of events. She may be so desperate to fit in with the boyfriend's family - for whatever reason - that she's encouraging/exaggerating their excitement.

A very I portent life lesson for you is remembering that once you hand information to someone you cannot contain it's further flow

You're not a lone voice, BabyBoomers.

I think this sounds really grim for the OP, given the overall context she has explained which is relevant to her.

I have a mother like yours, too, OP, so I understand as well.

If she is like mine, it's not anything against the potential in laws as much as frustration at your mother's desperation to whitewash her own past and actual family in favour of whatever fantasy she's come up with in her head this time.... which is the third or fourth repeat of the same ' he's perfect, he really loves me, Prince charming' to 'we're family, call him Dad! Now!' to, inevitably, 'how could he, he's a bastard, never speak of him again!' cycle which you've lived to the point of nausea.

It gets wearing and annoying, and now she's making it clear your child is to be included in the game. I'm not surprised you're upset.... you're already protecting your baby from the drama.

Chances are the in laws are perfectly nice, normal people.... it's your mum that's the issue, and her telling the In laws before your actual grandparents is the sympto of her dysfunctional approach to relationships that this time is the step too far.

You explain that very well, ginny.