To ask you to clarify this for me?

[Ironfloor]

Spinning off from my other thread about the (non) racist comment. DD's best friend is half Polish. Mom is Polish and dad is English. The other day, neighbour's boy who goes to the same school had played with her and told DD a the next morning 'I saw your Polish friend'. I cringed a bit. DD doesn't think of her as her Polish friend, she thinks of her as her friend, Eleanor (name changed obviously). So she looked a bit confused as to who this boy was talking about. First of all, I have no idea where or how he got the ethnic reference from, because I hardly think Eleanor would be going around talking about her mother's ancestry. Either way, was IBU to think this way of referring to that child was not right?

I think you're over thinking it.

He was using Polish to describe her. Bit like saying blonde or tall.

I don't think it's an issue.

Hmmm thanks. That's what I wanted to know. I wasn't sure.

I'm guessing that the boy doesn't know the girl's name and because your dd has multiple friends, Polish describes her more quickly than blonde Y2 with pigtails.

I've got a polish friend and she wouldn't be offended by this. Would it be different to say Otalian friend or Welsh friend?

I taught a little girl who was known as "the Polish one" by her peers. She was second generation, and had a Polish spelling of a very common girls name. She didn't mind in the slightest and loved that it made her "different". She saw it no different to usibg initials e.g. " Amy B, Amy T and Polish Amy" . (Name changed, obvs)

There are several of us at work with the same first name.

I was amused to be told by someone when confirming which "Susie" I was (as I wanted him to send me some work) to discover that he thought of me as "Posh Susie".

I'm really not that posh!

Oh, lighten up fgs, and stop seeing racism in every innocuous little interaction that goes on around you

You know the bit in Bridget Jones where she is told to introduce people with thoughtful detail. It's a bit like that. A little bit of information to help remember who this child is. Mark Darcy, I'd like you to meet Eleanor. Eleanor is half polish. Mark is a top human rights lawyer.

If you lived in a foreign country and someone said you were the English girl, it wouldn't be racist. And this also isn't.

Got it. Thanks!

Dear god

^^ That's all I can actually type right now!

I hardly think Eleanor would be going around talking about her mother's ancestry

I'll bet she does.

This reminds me of the Little Britain sketch where they go to great lengths to describe someone on any basis other than their racial characteristics. It's rather silly!

I imagine Eleanor is proud of the fact her mum is Polish. It's not something to be ashamed of, just like being Black or Chinese are things to be proud of, not ashamed of.

In my group of friends I am 'English Rita'

I think if there is a touch of racism here it's in the person who has concerns about someone's 'foreigness' being mentioned, as if it's something which is shameful and should be hidden in favour of being thought of as English.

I take your point. It is most definitely not because her 'foreignness' is something to be ashamed of. I come from a country where racism is so strife that even mentioning someone's race can be loaded. So I' very guarded about that. But I see now that it can be equally detrimental as highlighting one's race in a negative way. I agree, your ethnicity should be something to celebrate, not hide.

FGS. Is the grip store open?

I come from a country where racism is so strife that even mentioning someone's race can be loaded

What country do you come from Ironfloor?

I think it was said in the same way as someone once (only once) described me as Big T and another friend with the same name as Little T, just descriptive.

No biggy!

Unless you particularly want it to be.................................

Where are you from that makes you so determined to see racism in everything? You seem totally obsessive about it and will hardly mention ethnicity at all.

Statements of fact are not necessarily racist. If someone is English, French, German, Polish, American then why can they not be referred to as such?

No need to look for something that isn't there.