To limit the amount of time DD spends on her phone?

[CambridgeBlue]

What's reasonable for a 13 year old? She hasn't got siblings so I know contact with her generation is important but she's on it all the flaming time, from the minute she gets up until I make her turn it off an hour or so before bed (and obviously it's not on at school).

If she's not texting she's on Instagram or talking or FaceTime-ing. We don't allow phones at the table but she has it when we're watching TV or whatever and I find it quite intrusive but on the other hand a 13 year old probably doesn't find watching TV with their parents very exciting compared to chatting with their mates.

We've just had a blazing row because she's used up her data allowance and if I hadn't checked the bill she would have gone over (I admit half of my anger was directed at the useless phone company - impossible to get through on the phone but no bloody email address to contact them, how ridiculous!) I'm not sure what she's doing that's using it - does FaceTime cost? It may well be the constant Instagram uploads everywhere we/she goes.

I'm so pleased she's got a nice group of mates and I don't want to make things difficult for her but it's getting ridiculous. AIBU to set some limits and if so what would be sensible/reasonable?

Also yes it's a little U asking her what she spent the money on. Data is data and she probably doesn't know, all it takes is a few You Tube video uploads or downloads and you're over.

In my phone settings it shows how much data each app has used, so it should be easy to narrow down the cause.

I just had this conversation with my 12 year old.
She has an iphone and I've set it up so that it asks before connecting to 4G.
She knows not to watch YouTube on 4G because it uses loads of data.
She has automatic playing of video turned off on Social Media.

Thanks for all the info, I think I'm going to download her provider's app so she can keep an eye on how much data she is using and once it's gone she'll have to either not use mobile or pay for any extra herself. I'm going to adjust a few settings on her phone as well which should help. I think keeping an eye on how she's using the data herself gives her some control and choice so she doesn't feel like I'm checking up on her too much.

I'm still unsure about setting limits with regard to using her phone (or tablet or computer) though. I don't feel it's a good idea for her to be on them so much but I know it's how kids communicate these days. She's doing well at school, helps out round the house and is generally pretty good so I don't want her to feel like she's being punished but I am very wary about so much screen time for want of a better word.

Does she have any hobbies that don't require use of a screen? Play a sport, or learns an instrument or dances or anything, really. I also don't think spending every minute of your spare time glued to a screen is healthy, but I limit it by encouraging extra-curricular activities. Mine are younger though, I expect the battle will ramp up when they're teens.

Well she goes to cookery club after school and the village youth club but apart from that not really. She gave up gym a few years back and nothing has really replaced it, definitely something to think about.

Downloading the providers app is sensible - she needs to take responsibility. Tesco cap usage, which is why we are with them!

Make sure she is knows how to ensure it switches to wifi at home/chez others where she can use wifi (not at all difficult!) and how to switch off 4G if she is worried about using it by mistake.

Make sure she knows that films/vines/YouTube, etc use up loads of data and so to only use them on wifi.

And then Good Luck to enforcing rules about usage

Thanks - I consider myself reasonably tech savvy but it's a nightmare keeping up with kids who always know more!

LOL, if she knew more, she wouldn't have run out of data!

Correction

I have to the dds phone and pad at night or she won't sleep. Apart from that she's on it most if the time at home but does do a hobby 4 nights a week and just about tears herself away.
It's worse at present cos she's in lurve