To wonder about Health Visitors?

[Pyjamaramadrama]

Ok so I'm sorry to any brilliant health visitors, I'm not wishing to offend anyone, but I really have generally had useless experiences of health visitors.

Each time one has visited for a new birth they've had nothing useful to offer other than asking stupid questions such as whether we've got a car seat, well if she was that observant she'd have seen it in the hallway.

Another advised me to feed my newborn on a four hourly feeding schedule as though that was ever going to work.

I've twice tried to discuss ds2 reflux and whether he might have a dairy intolerance, the fact that his poo is green again and stinks, the fact he's not eating as much and his weight has dropped 1.5 centiles, she just shrugs and everything I ask is met with she doesn't know, he looks fine, see my gp if I'm concerned.

So other than weighing babies what is the purpose?

I totally agree with you.
My HV answer to everything was "Oh she will grow out of it"........no. She won't grow out of having a hole in her oesophagus, as I later found out was the problem Anything questions I had, her answer was "she will grow out of it". Useless. When it comes to our 8-12month check up, I'll stick to "yes" and "no" for her questions, and keep any of mine to myself.
I can picture it now:
"Any concerns?"
"Well, her leg is hanging off, and her nose is upside down"
"Ohhhh well she'll grow out of it"

Pyjama I had that for a bit, people said because he wasn't losing weight he was fine when he was clearly uncomfortable.

Don't back down, you know your baby and keep pushing!

As a for now measure have you tried comfort milk? It didn't help DS but other people have found it helps

Donge she just went upstairs?! That's rude!

Sparkly that really made me chuckle along with the advise about the hot bath.

Me and dh have a bit of a joke atm that anything we ask about the baby we get told "well it could be this, but it might be that, but he'll probably be ok".

I'm sure there are great ones but I've not had great experiences, my HV with ds2 told me I was 'harming' him by breastfeeding past a year old! Thankfully I was pretty well informed about the benefits so told her 'well actually...'

The annoying thing was that had it been my first or I was less informed I would have probably stopped feeding on her advice :-(

I loathe my current one. She's an absolute fucking witch, patronising as all hell, and has attempted to argue with my psychiatrist about my diagnosis - he's a consultant and a clinical researcher too. He told her in his quiet, measured way to fuck off.

She doesn't have children. She has a small dog that shits on the floor all the time.

I had a very bad experience with my HV. She tried to make out I was a paranoid first time mother. Three times I went to her with my baby with what I now know were very obvious symptoms. Sadly my niggles were confirmed by a Paediatric Doctor .

Sorry to be slightly off topic here but just wondering when it is that you get a health visitor? I am due to have DC1 by ELCS on Friday and my (utterly lovely) community midwife said she will come to my house probably the day after we get home. Do you know if this is instead of a HV? Or do you see your midwife first and then get 'passed over' to a HV later? Sorry for my ignorance!

I don't think HV's are really for certain people. I am assuming that the mums on this thread are very well read and educated about babies and for the most part have support and people to advise them. The only time a hv would be useful to me would be to weigh baby (I would know best myself to be honest if the weight gain was acceptable or needed follow up) and maybe to pick up on pnd (but there's lots of other people in my life who would notice sooner). I've heard so many rediculous comments (old wives rubbish, medically out of date advice etc) from HVs over the years I don't take them seriously and they are pretty low on my list of who to ask advice from.

However, they are a critical front line in spotting neglect, abuse and mothers who are totally lost and alone. Also they can spot a mother who is unwittingly putting their baby at risk through lack of skills and knowledge. So I understand they need to check every home us a suitable place for a baby and advise/take action accordingly. And that us where their value is.

Yes Sandsnake - community midwife will come to you until she is happy to discharge you from her care (mine was a visit the day after the birth, one a couple of days after that, and one when DD was a week old) and into the care of a HV

Thanks Sparkly!

Mine was rubbish all three times. They are so focused on ticking boxes (breastfeeding tick / formula cross) filling forms and asking pointless questions such as "when was the last time you cried..." I felt it was just a bureaucratic necessity to endure rather than in any way helpful.

I had pretty awful HVs and I always wonder why they don't seem to have the same system as other health professionals when it comes to giving non-biased, research-based information....as opposed to anecdotal make it up as you go along information.

My Hv with DS who had selective eating disorder from weaning, said "well I go and do the horses all day on Saturdays and only eat three bananas and I don't get hungry"!!!!

.

Hv takes over at 10 days.

DS had reflux op, turned out to be allergic to milk protein. We ended up with ranitidine and neocate milk. But it took a while and a hospital referral.

My feeling and experience made me think that HVs are pitched more at woman who are less educated or have little or no access to other information sources.

Mine were actually half decent, but tbh I did feel like I had already looked up and found out answers to problems and concerns I had. There genuinely wasn't anything they said that I couldn't have sought advice off MN for.

I think that does make women feel patronised, especially when an HV is not up to date with advice and the woman knows this.

I stopped going as I ended up finding it a counter productive thing; I'd stress over weighs despite knowing I was doing all I could, DS was hitting all his milestones and was happy and healthy. It was contact with the HV that was undermining my confidence and making me doubt myself. I'd go knowing exactly what they would say, be given advice as if it was easy to follow and would work for every child and made me feel like I wasn't trying hard enough in someway.

This is because of the level it was pitched at, rather than treating you like an intelligent human being and failed to use more common sense in working out that women are not all the same. It did feel like being talked down to rather than talked to on a level playing field at times which is wrong. Just because they are professionals it does not mean they are superior (I have the same reservations about the manner of some doctors too, but I think in general people tend to expect and accept that behaviour from doctors rather than HV due to the difference in the level of education and status).

Don't get me wrong, I do think they have a purpose and will be helpful for many, and I did have a great HV, I just felt that the whole system is structured in a particular way which treats women as fragile and incompetent in need of advice rather than treating women as individuals and listening to them before soliciting the advice which might not be needed/wanted. I think that HVs often end up being like the relative who dishes out unwanted pearls of wisdom that you just didn't need. The problem being that they have an official role, so their opinion carries more weight and this has certain consequences. If they did more listening rather than talking I do think it would make for better relationships and respect all round. It might also mean that they could focus on identify women/children who might be at risk in someway.

All in all I do wonder whether policy and procedure, is tending to be set to a paternalist agenda by people who have never looked after a young baby or see it as something that is done by low skilled / low intelligence people and the HVs on the ground are at the mercy of this too.

I don't speak the same language as HV. No matter what I say or how I phrase it, they seem to hear "please tell me what I'm doing wrong, make sure you're rude". I find the children's centre staff a lot more supportive and constructive.

However, they are a critical front line in spotting neglect, abuse and mothers who are totally lost and alone.

^^ this. I never really interacted with HV other than at my initial home visit, follow up check, occasional weigh ins, and development check. My MIL is a HV and I mentioned this to her recently and she said 'you're not the type of person who needs a HV'. She spends most of her time dealing with cases of neglect/abuse/mothers in difficult situations/liaising with SS etc.

And as for the person who said HV don't have to keep up with professional training - that's complete bollocks. My MIL regularly has to attend training days/courses and always chats to me about the new guidelines/info/whatever (I have a 2 year old DD and currently pregnant with baby number 2).

I do think that the biggest 'failing' of the HV system is their attitude to feeding - it is in this regard that there is much less 'medical guidance' as it were, and much more in the realm of 'old wives tales'/personal opinion.

OP, if you're concerned about your child's digestive system, best thing to do is go to see the doctor (as your HV has advised). Sorry, but even if they could diagnose it their advice would be to go to a doctor to be treated. And be prepared to have to push to get it diagnosed, unfortunately, as many doctors don't take the issue seriously (or at least that is the impression I get from my mummy friends who had issues with reflux-y type symptoms).

Mine have all been great.
DS1's one was quite formal and I didn't really warm to her, but I felt I could trust her and I valued her experience and knowledge.

DS2 - I had 2 for some reason, maybe they shared it..dunno. One came round to do baby massage and that was a chance to chat.
The other really kept a look out for me as my Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer when DS2 was 3 weeks old. I coped fine, but was very touched that she flagged me as vulnerable and made sure I was indeed OK, not just putting on a brave face.

I felt at ease with them all.

I've got three children and I've had some good and some not so good health visitors. The 'baby' part of their job is only a very small part though(one of my best friends is a HV). Visiting mums and babies who don't have any social problems is probably the easiest part of the job. They have become more and more like social workers with very heavy caseloads of families with real problems and difficulties. They will be liaising with schools, social services and doctors about families with extensive social issues throughout most of their working day. They are there for families with children of all ages, not just babies and so what they view as the 'easy stuff' (families with no social problems) is only one small aspect of their job.. I'm certainly not saying that's the way it should be in an ideal world but you did ask what the point of them is.

I think they're very helpful for some people, and very necessary. Mine was lovely, no use to me, but I heard her giving advice and reassurance to others at the open weigh ins, and was impressed.

MIL is a HV and I mentioned this to her recently and she said 'you're not the type of person who needs a HV'.

Could your MIL predict your chances of having PND? If she can, perhaps she would like to share it with the medical profession. PND can affect any mother and although there are risk factors, no one has a magic PND formula to know who will get it and who won't.

For this reason, I do think that comments like that are somewhat unhelpful and it may have the effect or either restricting access to HV for some women or it may add a stigma to having a HV which discourages women from seeing an HV.

I do think that HVs should be for all regardless. Its about making it normal and an open door and encouraging engagement.

The thing is you are only going to have engagement if the relationship between a HV and a woman is good and the woman feels like she is being listened too.

I haven't tried the anti reflux/comfort milk yet. It's been one of those things where I've had it in my hand several times in the shops but haven't wanted to rock the boat (I've read stories of it causing constipation).

I do appreciate really that HVs are dealing with families with more complex needs or who are struggling with the basics, and this is a good thing.

It's just that each time I've encountered one it's all been very tick box and oh you seem ok we will leave you to it. With ds1 I saw one for the 10 day check, then again at around 6 weeks in clinic, this was the one who told me to feed him 4 hourly. I saw one again once as I'd moved so was sort of checking in and she actually told me not to bother bringing him in for weight checks.

The main problem here is that I can't seem to get a GP appointment unless I say I've spoken to the HV. I've only tried twice so I'm not hounding them with unnecessary appointments.

Mine was lovely, supported me through mild PND (including being at my door five minutes after I'd phoned her in tears cos I wasn't coping), and although I got the impression she was a bit inexperienced, actually seemed to care about mothers and their babies.

I have heard horror stories though, but I think people tend to talk more about the crap ones.

pyjama it didn't constipate DS it just didn't help much. Tell GP the health visitor isn't helpful, go to a different one if they fob you off.

It's annoying isn't it

Mine was absolutely fantastic. Spotted PND, was at the end of the phone when I couldn't cope at 4 months, was again hugely supportive when I needed to sleep train my son as I was terrified to make changes (exhausted and issues from pnd). Honestly, I think it's hit and miss as with any profession. They're just people after all, some will be committed and knowledgable and supportive, some will be coasting along.