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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is the worst Facebook check in status ever?

104 replies

Sunnymeg · 03/11/2015 11:23

A message has appeared on my Facebook wall from brother in law to say he has checked in at his local crematorium. I knew he was going to a funeral, but surely I am correct in thinking that this is so not the thing to do!

OP posts:
JeffreySadsacIsUnwell · 03/11/2015 14:32

My MIL wasn't checking herself in anywhere though? Or at least, not that she knew of. Tbh, if the app came up with some kind of alert that said "you're at x crematorium, ok?" she'd have assumed it was her sat nav somehow telling her mobile she'd arrived and pressed "ok"!

I'm pretty clueless when it comes to FB myself (and DH isn't on it) so it may be I'm confusing 'check in status' with something else, but when I looked at her page, I could basically tell her exactly where she'd been - and she didn't know anything about it. She didn't actually know she had FB on her phone either... Or a load of other crap. But she does have Google location services turned on, because she uses the map, and she does have the location and date/time automatically added to photo tags. As I said she uses FB mainly for photo sharing, so I guess the location tagging came about that way?

Maybe I'm just too nice and inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt Wink I just can't believe that people would deliberately check in at a funeral!

m1nniedriver · 03/11/2015 14:42

Couldn't help but Google inappropriate facebook checkins GrinGrin well worth a visit if you have free minute. ShockBrew

shovetheholly · 03/11/2015 14:44

Funeral protocol question: at a recent one I was at, the family wanted posed pictures. I mean everyone lined up outside, next to the flowers. I had to give a reading, and I held it together until I'd done, then completely fell apart. I don't do pretty crying either, so I was a snotty, sobby mess. To be honest, I did not want to be photographed like that, but I didn't feel I could say no because the family were obviously closer and their loss was greated.

Normal? Not normal?

SixtyFootDoll · 03/11/2015 14:48

Awful.
I saw an article somewhere where people had taken selfies at funerals.
With requisite 'sad' face.

Mainly under 25s, that's the world they live in I guess.
I find it very distasteful and disrespectful.

BillBrysonsBeard · 03/11/2015 14:58

Shovetheholly- no that is weird, is it a pic they want to look back on? Weird..

I saw a pic on my feed of 3 women (30s) all grinning, hands on hips pose.. It's a nice pic. Then read the caption "said bye to so and so today, gone too soon".. The woman who'd died was 25 and had commited suicide. I found the smiling pic really weird.. I know wakes can have laughter, I've laughed at most as people recall funny memories of the person! But posing for a pic and posting it is a bit disrespectful.

shovetheholly · 03/11/2015 15:08

Bill - I assume so. They are obsessive about pictures - and they are in their 70s, so not exactly spring chickens. On normal occasions, everyone has to stop what they are doing repeatedly to pose for the camera, rictus grin and awkward standing pose in place. One of the couple takes a picture, then the whole group has to pose again while the other one does the same thing. They live together, so I do not understand this.

I had sort of assumed that funerals would be off-limits, but no. So there are a whole series of pictures of me basically blubbing all over the place. (I had just had surgery before the funeral, so I didn't have much in the way of intact emotional walls). But, as I said, they were the family of the deceased so I didn't feel I could say no.

Apiarist · 03/11/2015 15:27
Shock

Awful

reuset · 03/11/2015 16:15

I've seen, some, few, wake pictures, with captions 'in memory of' or 'raising a glass to'

Also, seems to be an increasing trend for pictures, inside the church/crematorium of the floral tributes. Not quite the coffin...yet

reuset · 03/11/2015 16:18

That's awful, Holly!

ShowOfBloodyStumps · 03/11/2015 16:33

Oh I saw a fb row the other day which I almost started a thread about but didn't think people would be interested enough to warrant it. I might leave it here as it's fb and funeral related.

A school friend wrote a status update about the fact that she'd been to a mutual friend's funeral. It was a very sad time, he'd died young and left behind two small children. She commented that it was so bittersweet catching up with people that day and lamenting the fact that it isn't until something tragic happens that we make the effort to travel home and see each other as a group again. There was a lot of agreement and some general chatter and then somebody we also went to school with barreled in and roundly chastised us all for not inviting her to the funeral. She was utterly vitriolic and also, oddly passively aggressive in places. The phrases "so you were all off having fun without me" and "thanks for the invitation to the reunion guys" were deployed. Somebody tactfully pointed out that nobody was invited and a funeral isn't a party.

"Well not a party anybody fucking bothered to invite me to". I was AGOG.

FB + SOME PEOPLE + FUNERALS = WTF?

Crazypetlady · 03/11/2015 16:40

I can't believe people have phones anywhere near funerals.

SomeWeirdPumpkin · 03/11/2015 16:43

have you clicked on the place he's checked in at? It should show how many other people have checked in.. Just wondering if it's a common thing!
perhaps it will be one day, 'The funeral of Mr Smith was held today, he was a popular man, 567 people checked in at the local crematorium for his service of remembrance...'.

Hollyweeeen · 03/11/2015 16:46

I love it these sorts of statuses;

3.00 pm Tina James has checked in at St Thomas' Hospital.
Jo Bloggs; omg hunnie are you ok? xx
Emma Smith; what's up hun? x
Sarah Thompson; message me, I'm worried xxxxx
10.00 pm Tina James; just visiting Auntie Fran who had a hip replacement :) x

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 03/11/2015 16:58

An old family friend photographed my dad's coffin. Seriously. He was high profile in our city and had a fancy carved one but still. She made a point of telling everyone and going on about how unusual a person she is. " I know, nobody has seen anything like me before! I do these things!" She was asked politely thrown in a taxi screaming to leave eventually by my dtb.Hmm

notquitehuman · 03/11/2015 18:06

Haha yes I love the attention seeking hospital check ins. Make everyone in your extended family and friendship circle panic, then reveal you just had to go to A&E for a sprained ankle or something.

If you're alert enough to be on Facebook then there's little chance it's anything serious. Hun.

Indantherene · 03/11/2015 18:09

Really? How important he must be that everyone on his wall needs to know he's unavailable!

Can't answer for other people but I have to keep my phone on (silent) in case of emergency with DD as DH works nights and can't be contacted. Even when I've told DM I'm going somewhere she will still ring me at the most inappropriate times. I got told off in a training session because although my phone was on silent (with vibration off) it was inside my bag so buzzing against the bag and could be clearly heard Blush.

Aliceinwonderlust · 03/11/2015 18:37

Jeffreysadsac that doesn't make sense- FB wouldn't check her in anywhere or offer to. I can't think of any explanation apart from her doing it herself? It's not a hard process but you'd know you were doing it.

NoahVale · 03/11/2015 19:46

An odd, in many senses of the word, family member took photos of the family at my dad's funeral 30 years ago. crass. her excuse, you only see certain people, family, at weddings and funerals. Hmm

ILiveAtTheBeach · 03/11/2015 19:49

Oh Gawd, this is like all those "I miss you and you're in Heaven" posts. Crass. Should be private. And trivialises it actually.

Garlick · 03/11/2015 20:35

I took photos at a family funeral. I don't know how many most of you have been to so far - or maybe you're all fantastic at keeping in touch with everybody - but, for most of us, funerals are some of the rare events when people with lifetime connections get together: even more so than weddings, now those tend to be smaller. And you don't get so many weddings once you're past your mid-thirties.

There's nothing wrong with being pleased to see everyone, despite the sad cause, or with wanting to commemorate that as well as the life just ended.

Garlick · 03/11/2015 20:37

Noah - until I saw the 30 years, I worried you might be a relation! Grin

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 03/11/2015 20:39

He was on face book. While he was at a funeral. How rude

Howtheheck · 03/11/2015 20:41

A few people i know checked into a funeral of a distant relation of mine i thought it was bad taste but the young guy was in his early 20s it seemed to help his friends connect and cope i think.

kennyp · 03/11/2015 20:41

my aunts sister took picture of her daughter and granchildren at my uncle's funeral. thought it was entirely inappropriate to get a camera out at a wake. the aunts sister and aunts sisters daughter are close and see each other loads.

made me make a wtf face.

Howtheheck · 03/11/2015 20:43

Photos at a funeral is quite common older relations of mine do it graveside with the flowers

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