Dad's dog at Christmas

[WellyMummy]

I'm a single parent. I have 2 DDs. We have several dogs.

My only other family is my father who lives several hours away. He is on his own but also owns a dog.

Dad is invited to Christmas and we would really like him to be with us. He has been here for the past few years. The dog came the first year, doesn't mix with my dogs and sheds hair everywhere. He is a lovely dog but highly excitable. 6 months ago I made it clear that the dog was not welcome here for Christmas and to look for an alternative for the dog. He has looked for alternatives but not found anything. I even suggest a kennels local to me but he won't consider kennelling the dog, so the only option is to ask someone to look after the dog in their own home or his.

AIBU to hold out that he is very welcome for Christmas but the dog is not? I don't know what he'd do for Christmas but would likely not be alone.

I wouldn't put my dog (friend and companion) in kennels so I could go and sit in your house with your dogs (which I might not like).

I'd rather have xmas dinner with myself personally.

I don't like my brothers dog (or child) but that's the price I have to pay to see him....

Also, about hospitality, last year he bought presents for my children (including a present I had specifically asked not to receive) but nothing for me. We don't exchange presents but there was NOTHING, no contribution to Christmas or as a house gift,

Honestly, I think he's probably making excuses so he doesn't have to visit your "winter wonderland", you sound fairly hard work...

^^ That's a bit harsh!
I wouldn't turn up for Christmas with no contribution towards the food, booze etc. An elderly relative of mine used to come laden with stuff for the DC (much of which she had asked about first - 'Would X like a Y, do you think? No? Not into that any more? How about a Z? Yes? Marvellous! I'll get that.') and a bottle of wine, and chocolates, and God knows what else.

If it ever come to a choice in the future between my dog and my daughter on Christmas Day, I bloody hope I'd choose my daughter. Dogs don't understand Christmas; humans do.

Is his dog just over excited to be with your dogs and in your house or is his dog aggressive towards yours?

If it's just excitement Id arrange to meet up in parks ect so all the dogs could socialise away from their home turf for a few days then I'd be happier with the dog in my house. They calm down fairly quickly if they already know the other dogs.

Are all the dogs spayed/neutered? If not that could also cause some doggy tension.

We co from a 2 dog house to 5 when both sets of parents come round. Ours are all walked fairly regularly together and if anyone goes on holiday one of us has the dogs so they're all used to bunking up :)

Definitely a no to leaving a dog in the car.

For one day/night I would put up with it.

On the one hand you say you'd 'really like' him to spend Christmas with you, but on the other hand you've had a good moan about how he didn't contribute enough last time and you've told him he can't bring his dog. It sounds to me as though you don't want him very there much at all!

I wouldn't go anywhere for Christmas where my dog wasn't welcome, so I think YABVU. Leave the man in peace with his pooch - he'll probably have a nicer day.

Yabu at all to not have his dog to stay. I'm surprised anyone would expect to take their dog with them to stay in someone else's house.

He has six months to sort it, and there are options other than kennels - home from home dog sitters for instance.

If he then chooses to spend xmas alone, it's a shame, but it really isn't your fault.

I'm surprised anyone would expect to take their dog with them to stay in someone else's house.

Everyone I know with a dog takes it with them when visiting relatives.

I wouldn't take ours to a friends without asking them, but if relatives invite our family over then we take all of us - dog included.

It's never been a problem & it's something everyone does in our clan. If they don't particularly get on with another dog, then they can be kept separate - shed, garage, utility or plain old garden. Only had to do it once & it worked OK.

Can he actually afford to have the dog kennelled over Christmas?

Putting on my dogwalking/sitting agency hat... We charge double for Bank Holidays. So it would be £70 per 24 hours. And even at that eyewatering rate we've been fully booked for this Christmas since Easter this year.

I know all three kennels in a five mile radius of here are also fully booked for Christmas now.

I'm torn on this one.I have a dog (only recently) but really do not like any of the other dogs in the family (they are untrained pests - not their fault but equally not my problem) and the mere thought of any of them here for Christmas day sends a shiver down my spine!

However, this is your dad and you say he has split with a partner fairly recently, perhaps he just doesn't want to leave his companion behind? Is there any way of a compromise? Do you have an outdoor space the dog could have some nice new treats and toys (great Christmas gift ideas from your kids) so he would be happy playing outside at least whilst you all eat dinner? then a lovely family dog walk after to wear all the dogs out?

Just some ideas but also if you genuinely do not want the dog there then that is your choice, you may just have to accept your dad also won't come.