So I'm new to mumsnet buy have been lurking for a few months and I've seen you guys give some useful advice
I'm looking for an outside perspective. I'm 32 been with my partner 9 years we met at uni both studied quite a demanding course and currently I'm working in that profession.
Relationship has had its ups and downs and I've been on the pill for so long but decided to come off for alternative contraception. I however fell pregnant and have been now for 10 weeks. Our relationship is breaking down and Im very concerned about my partners ability to be a father to the child. He is a good kind person but dropped out of his post grad training because of stress he also had an affair with a colleague but I took him back. He was increasingly not turning up for work going in very late and generally not enjoying work and in the end decided to leave. I know the demands and pressures were high which also impacted his decision.
This was 3 years ago he now locums mostly nights which is due to his bizarre sleep pattern. He hates getting up in the mornings and lives to be up all night often watching TV or writing his book but not necessarily working. He never comes to bed with me and often I wake ready for work and he is still watching TV!
If he does locum it's like maybe 3-4 x in a month so he is strapped for cash a lot.
A year ago he decided to pursue aphid which he started but due to lack of funding and interest did not continue. He barely went in at all his excuse being the experiments were not working out. This also contributed to him being in a lot of debt about 3000 in overdraft and 6000 in credits cards. This is not including a hefty student loan too!
We argue because I have resented him for not pushing himself further and utilising the excellent degree and training he has thus far had that tax payers have helped fund. I've suggested councilling but he tells me he just doesn't want to have a full time job as he doesn't get on well with people
I am working really hard and I just feel that he needs to decide what he wants to do with his life instead of spending all his time awake at night on Facebook/watching TV and sleeping in most days...
Now with a baby in the way not sure what to do or even if I want this baby