To think my aunt's comment is racist?

[Ironfloor]

The other day, DD (3) and I were skyping my parents (who live in another country) and my aunt also happened to be there. We had gifted DD with a globe for her birthday and she was very excited about her newly acquired knowledge of the different countries. So my parents named some countries and asked her to point them out on the globe. DD did so and then continued to talk about Africa, which is her favourite continent at the moment. She pretended to have visits Africa and was talking about all the sights and sounds she saw there (most of it were made up, of course). Then my aunt asked her 'when you visited Africa, did you see a lot of black peoples?'. My immediate reaction was 'WTAF'. Please tell me I'm not BU in thinking that this was an incredibly racist comment?

Your aunt said a weird thing, totally out of sync with the way most people would talk to a three year old (who tend to be fairly matter-of-fact when it comes to skin colour anyway

Er, what?

• What's weird about asking if you saw black people in Africa (which has a high density of black people)?
• What's weird about saying it to a 3 yo? She wasn't talking about sex or drugs or murders.
• If 3 yo's ARE matter of fact about skin colour (which entirely depends on how they're brought up, IMO), why would then asking her if she saw any black people be so weird and inflammatory?

And by the way, "disagreeing with OP's opinion" is not "a flaming".

I just wouldn't think to ask a three year old "did you see black people in Africa?" because, to me, it is portraying black people as exotic and "other" and strange and worthy of comment. All of which is beyond the comprehension of a three year old, who doubtless would be more interested in native African animals than African people.

It's just that I want to describe people in way that is not to do with their ethnicity? It's the same way I would do it to my DC. There are black kids in DC's class and as far as I'm aware, DC has never spoken about them as being 'black'. She thinks that people all look different and hasn't noticed it's due to different ethnicities.

But why is that desirable? Why avoid mentioning people's skin colour? The physical difference is obvious, so why not refer to it when appropriate (e.g. if describing the person).

Once upon a time people would harp on about someone being a diffrent race all the time, which was tiresome and alienating. But now people won't mention it at all, which is tiresome and artificial. If mentioning that someone is black is so terrible, aren't you just giving the impression that being black is unfortunate and embarrassing? All very 'Don't mention the war.'

Oh, wut? "exotic" "other" "strange" "worthy of comment"????

Does that apply if the OP's child goes to the zoo and someone asks her if she saw any tigers? Would the tigers be offended?

It's ok to describe someone black as being black. That's not racist. That's factual. As it would be if the OP's child had said she'd gone to China and was asked if she saw many asian / Chinese people there. If the OP's child is neither black nor Chinese etc., it is perfectly ok to teach her about the world by pointing out that people of a certain ethic background can often be found in other countries or that they originate from there so can be found there in large numbers. I'm sure the OP's child has noticed that she herself is not black / Chinese, etc.

If the OP's mother had said "Did you see many black people in straw skirts waving spears?" that would be racist.

shes just trying to make conversation with a small child

Hmm, I'm using Chinese interchangeably with "asian" (mostly to avoid confusion with "Indian" asian). No racism intended for the sensitive souls amongst us.

I don't think it is out of sync with the way most people would talk to a 3 year old!!

It is factual and easy to understand.

Thinking about it, I no longer even really consider it that clumsy. I doubt that I would really react to it at all.

Not racist, not weird and not moronic.

A very simple question for a 3 year old.

It's ok to be black, its ok to say 'black' or notice someone looks different to yourself.

Going out of your way not to say "black" is weird.

why bring a 3 year old's attention to the 'black people'

Why not? Do you have a problem with black people? Is it incorrect?